


Bridgerton In The Twenty-First Century

by PonderRose



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Brussels, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, London, Love, Possessive Behavior, Protective Siblings, Protectiveness, Romance, Siblings, True Love, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 71,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PonderRose/pseuds/PonderRose
Summary: She was a liberal free-spirit and flight risk. He was a traditional man with solid roots. They are total opposites who never should have met. Too bad fate decided they'd be perfect soulmates. Story of Bridgerton in the modern era. DaphnexSimon. Jealous and possessive Simon. Strong-minded and goal-oriented Daphne. Enjoy!
Relationships: Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Basset
Comments: 99
Kudos: 146





	1. Then There Was Daphne

(Author's Note: I've changed the age of the characters a little. Daphne is now twenty-four and in Masters; she completed her Honours degree at London's King College. In this story, Violet Bridgerton has already passed along with Edmund; she died of childbirth complications with her last child. Because of this, Anthony is a lot more mature and paternalistic to his siblings, especially Daphne. These changes will make sense later. Enjoy!)

With how outspoken and determined I am, it's a good thing I wasn't born in the early nineteenth century.

Too bad no one told the men in family this.

Brussels, Springtime:

I had just scarfed down the last of my takeaway dinner when my phone started to vibrate. I was at my desk in my tiny student-sized room with my suitcase laying open on my bed, still barren. My aim was to send some work off to my supervisor before I began to pack- I always did leave that sort of thing to the last minute. A caller was the last thing I needed at the moment.

"Nugh, what do they want now?" I groaned picking up the device. My sister's face was on the screen; that silly selfie she took of herself a few years ago. "Hello, Francesca." "Finally! How many times do I have to call you before you pick up your damn phone?" "It was airplane mode; I'm trying to get another chapter done. What's up?" "What's up? What's up is you're flying home tomorrow." "I know. Why do you think I'm working so hard?" "Have you even started packing?" "Eh, it'll get done eventually. What's more important is that I get these chapters to my supervisor before I go to bed tonight, which by the way, your constant calls aren't helping." "Oh, sod off. It's not like you ever call home and we haven't seen you since Christmas." "Well that's what happens when people do their Masters aboard- they go aboard. Now what'd you'd want? I have to get this finished." "Well, don't expect me to come meet you at the airport with that attitude." "I don't want you to come down to Heathrow anyway! It'll be super busy and I'd rather none of you come deal with that. I'm perfectly capable of getting to the estate by myself." "Uh huh, sure. Speaking of getting to the estate, Anthony wants to talk to you." "Ok, put him on," I didn't have any issue talking to him. I was his favourite sibling, after all- as morally problematic as that may be.

"Hi, Daphne?" "Hi, big bro. What's up?" "I just wanted to see if you're ready for the flight tomorrow." "I will be… at 6am in the morning," why'd he have to book me such an early flight? "Do you have your tickets printed out?" "Yes." "And your passport? Is that packed already too?" "Yes, I have my passport, Anthony. Relax; I've done this a billion times before. I know what I'm doing." He let out a sigh. "I know, baby sis, but I can't help it. It always makes me worry when you travel, especially on your own like that." "I'm twenty-four, big bro. And I'm in Masters. I think I can take care of myself." "I know, I know….." A smile drew across my lips. He's still worried- oh brother.

"I'll book you a cab to be there at six sharp." "No, I don't need a cab. I'll just take the train." "Daphne, you're flying international; you're supposed to be there at least an hour early. I don't need the concern of you not boarding your flight because the trains are running late or get delayed. You're taking a taxi, end of discussion." "You know, big bro, I know we're rich, but I don't mind taking the train! I'm going to take one into London when I get to Heathrow anyway." "Over my dead body," he chuckled. "I'm only bringing one suitcase, and it's full of gifts for you guys. I won't have anything valuable on my person. There's really no reason I can't take the train like normal people." "Yeah well you're not a "normal person". You're my sister, and my sister takes a taxi to and from the airport," his voice had some authority in it. I sighed, rolling my eyes again. See what I mean about being super old fashioned?

"Alright, alright. 6am- I'll be ready." "That's my baby sis." "It's really not necessary though." "I'll be the judge of that. How'd your doctor's appointment go, by the way?" "Nice segue. Fine, Anthony; I would have told you if anything was wrong." "How's your blood pressure?" "Stable. I've managed to keep it up pretty well." "That's good. Speaking of which, do you have lots of water and snacks for the trip tomorrow?" "Yes! You don't have to worry about that. I've got everything under control," my hand ran over my face in agony. "I wouldn't worry if you weren't close to fainting." "But I have never fainted before! Just….. gotten close a couple of times." "Just make sure you have everything you need." "I do! Seriously, stop fretting over me. I'm not going to black out on the plane." "Hey, it's not my fault! You're the one who doesn't want to take medication for your condition." "Because I can treat it on my own!" My hand flew up into the air, despite my knowing he couldn't see it.

There was a moment of silence before my eldest sibling let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, alright; I trust you. Just give me text before your plane takes off and when you land, ok?" "I will, big bro. I always do." "Ok then, I'll let you go. Enjoy your last night in Brussels." "I will! Just finished up dinner and about email my supervisor." "You better have not had a waffle smothered with chocolate sauce and oreos for your dinner tonight." "Course not," I said while throwing out the chocolately waffle wrapper in the trash. He sighed for the final time. "Ok, good night, baby sis. I'll see you at the estate tomorrow afternoon." "Alright, big bro. Have a good night." "Have a good sleep. Don't go to bed too late." "You too," I could practically feel him smiling from this side of the line. "I love you, baby sister." And I couldn't help but smile too. How do I know I'm Anthony's favourite sibling, you might ask? Cause I'm the only one he says that to in the family now. He's only ever said it to me and Dad before.

"I love you too, big brother."


	2. Back Home To London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne returns to London from Brussels.

The taxi pulled up in front of the Bridgerton estate in Mayfair; a cool thirty-six minutes from Heathrow airport. The driver opened the door for me then went to pull out my suitcase. I got out, examining the family manor. It felt weird to be back. Six of my siblings still lived here, with my brother Benedict living in Oxford where he's going to school. I begged Anthony to let me attend Cambridge when I graduated high school but he said I was too young to leave home. Benedict wasn't under the same restriction.

Our sisters and other brothers all went to school in here London. To save money- which we didn't really need to do- Anthony had them all live at home while attending school. This caused some friction at first but at the moment there's nothing any of them can do. Anthony controls the whole of Daddy's estate and inheritance, set to divide it up amongst themselves when they're all over the age of eighteen.

Well, all except for the nearly half the Bridgerton's fortune Daddy put in a trust fund solely for me. It was still a sore spot among us siblings that our father left like ninety percent of everything to me and Anthony. Anthony got the Bridgerton estate; I got the lion's share of the cash, stocks, and other monetary assets. Due to entailment, he had to leave the family property to our eldest brother.

But it was clear to everyone that I was Daddy's favourite child, and he made no attempt to keep it a secret, as shown in his will.

Not even a minute had gone by and the front door swung open. "Daphne!" Francesca, Hyacinth, and Gregory all came running to me with arms wide open. "Hi you guys!" I caught Gregory first, quickly wrapping my arms around all three of them tight. "We missed you!" Hyacinth declared emotionally, burying her face into my shoulder. "I know, I missed you too." I then looked up to see Eloise standing in the door frame. She looked less enthusiastic than our younger siblings, though not unhappy to see me. I don't blame her for being more distant since Daddy died; unlike the younger ones, she knew what his will meant for her and the others, and wasn't pleased about it.

"So, you've finally returned," she crossed her arms in a playful, snarky fashion. I straightened up to smile at her. "It's only been four months. Christmas wasn't that long ago." "It is when you only call once a week." "I don't have time to call more! I'm trying to get my Masters done in two years. You know that." "How's Brussels?" Hyacinth then asked me. "Did you have a good flight?" Francesca followed suit. "Did you bring us any presents?" Gregory inquired. "What about that Belgian chocolate you promised me?" Eloise eased up a bit, stepping down to join our siblings. "Yes, I brought your chocolate. Wouldn't leave Brussels without bringing you chocolate," I laughed. "Leave it to you to bring back something like food," we all blinked to see Colin come out.

I grinned up at him, though I don't know what good it would be. Like Eloise, he was not impressed with Daddy's will. He even pressed Anthony into hiring a lawyer to contest it, which I honestly was all for. I thought the will was unfair just like they did- even if it was in my favour. It was Anthony, however, who put his foot down and said the will remains intact. This didn't help the internal relations in the family. Colin was the most salty about it, which was a shame since he's usually so nice and adorable. Daddy always called him the "most eligible bachelor in the family"; something I'd have to politely remind him not to say in front of Anthony or Benedict.

Colin approached me, not extending his arms out for a hug. Sensing he didn't want any physical contact, I gave our youngest siblings another embrace instead while looking at him. "Don't worry, Colin. I brought you some gifts back too; stuff that isn't food-related." He rolled his eyes. "You didn't have to bring me back anything." "I wasn't gonna leave you out. I brought something back for all my siblings. Speaking of which, is Benedict back yet?" Colin's head shook. "Not yet. His train leaves this afternoon; he'll be here before tomorrow." "Oh, great. So he gets to take the train but I have to take a taxi… Wait, what's tomorrow?" I inquired a bit hesitantly. I just got here; I didn't want to go rushing into anything just yet. I wanted to spend time with my brothers and sisters in peace- at least for the first little while. Colin's eyes narrowed onto mine ever so slightly, and I knew what that meant. My heart was already beginning to sink.

"No…." I moaned softly. "Anthony said you're going, so you're going." "Why don't you just ask me before you commit me to stuff like this? It better not be a birthday party or any other stupid formal gathering at the palace." "Hey, think of it this way, sis. You're nobody on the mainland; you're a Bridgerton here. Just enjoy being someone for a little while," he smirked. "I don't want to be someone! I like being no one, living in a country where nobody pays attention to me or cares about every little thing I do. Why do you think I moved to Europe?!" My arms flung violently up into the air. "Well too bad, princess. You're a Bidgerton again," his smirk widened and my eyes rolled yet again.

"Enough talk! I wanna see what you brought us!" The youngest two pulled my arms towards the front door. "Alright, alright, I'm coming," I chuckled at them. Eloise and Colin followed behind, staying close by. "It better be dark chocolate," Eloise grinned. "It is," I replied back to her.

We went inside to the big sitting parlour on the first floor. I'll admit, I was a tad surprised not to see Anthony already inside waiting for us, but quickly realized he must be elsewhere in the house. Meanwhile our other siblings sat on the floor and gathered around my closed suitcase. They were about to pull open the zipper when my hand stretched out their way. "Wait." "What?" Eloise's head shot back my way. "I still haven't seen…."

"You weren't going to open presents without me, were you?" A smile organically crossed my lips as I spun around- spun around and saw my eldest brother. Anthony descended the staircase, grinning at me the whole way. He was the one sibling I did run up to, holding my arms back from flinging around his neck for a second. "As if we'd ever open them without you, Anthony." He gleamed down at me, reaching the final staircase. "You're back…. You're finally back." "I'm back," I nodded my head. Then I smiled back up at him; I smiled at him and he mirrored my expression. "Welcome home, baby sis." "It's good to be back, big bro," with that we threw our arms around each other, holding one another very close.

Our other siblings rolled their eyes, unimpressed by our intimate show of affection. None of them were really close with Anthony either, except for perhaps Hyacinth and Gregory. The older ones thought he took Daddy's side on the will, which he did. And the fact that he wouldn't let any of them move out of the house was a tense issue too. I think the only one who didn't have beef with the eldest of the Bridgerton siblings was ironically me, which I don't think helped the favouritism.

Anthony held me tight, then gently pulled me back a bit so to see my face. His grin grew in the corners of his mouth. "Look at you. You're even more beautiful than I remember." "Heh, oh yeah. Being locked inside a dorm room working on a dissertation for months is great for the complexion," I jested. He chuckled, tugging me in for another hug. Colin rolled his eyes, already done with all this.

"Alright, we get it. It's great to have Daphne home- everyone's happy. Now come and show us what you got," our brother remarked. Anthony gave him an unimpressed look. "Is that any way to talk to your sister who hasn't been home more than ten minutes?" "Not when there's chocolate waiting," Eloise said under her breath and I laughed. "Fine. It's time for presents," Anthony and I came in to join everyone.

Eloise plunked herself down onto the couch and yanked out her phone while I opened up my suitcase. "Good! And while you're doing that, I'll check Lady Whistledown's page." "Ugh, Lady Whistledown? You still read that thing? You know it's just a gossip account," I spat personally insulted by my sister's choice of whom to follow on social media. "It's all the rage in London now. Everyone in high society follows her on well… everything." "I heard she's even got a YouTube channel, though she doesn't show her face on it," Francesca tacked on. "I can't believe you'd actually listen to someone like that. What a waste of time," my eyes rolled for what felt like the millionth time. "Yes. You two should be more like your older sister and not focus so much on idle chit chat," Anthony came to sit down beside me. "It'd improve your grades," Colin smirked cheekily.

"But she's knows everything about everyone! How are we supposed to stay in the loop if we don't follow the right people?" Eloise pointed out- poorly. "You don't have to be in everyone else's business, Eloise. You should have enough going on in your own life to concentrate on," I stated flatly. She flashed me a knowing side smirk. "You'd know what she wrote about you if you had a twitter account." "I don't care what's written about… Wait, someone tweeted something about me? What an idiotic….! What does it say?"

Eloise giggled, rolling around on the sofa cushion. "It says "Daphne Bridgerton's returned to London this afternoon; surely to attend tomorrow's annual spring social." "How does he even know that?" I blinked in astonishment. "How do you know it's a guy?" "I've seen Gossip Girl. It's a guy," was my response until the wheels started turning in my head. I then gazed out at all my sibling with a dazed, frazzled sort of expression.

"Wait, spring social?"


	3. A Brother And His Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony and Daphne go on a walk before the spring social.

"I'm not going." "Oh yes, you are." "No, I'm not." "Yes, you are." Anthony and I were walking though St. James Park the morning after my arrival. He was adamant that I go this afternoon with the rest of the family, and I was adamantly positive I did not want to go. While strolling arm-in-arm, my eldest brother gave mine a squeeze.

"Come on, baby sis. You know we can't show up without you; not now that everyone knows you're back in London." "Stupid Lady Whistledown," if I ever get my hands on him, I'll…. Anthony grinned down at me kindly. "Besides, it'd be mortifying not to show up with you on my arm. Who else am I supposed to take to the social if not my beloved, beautiful baby sister?" "There's always Eloise," I smirked back. "Ha ha, very funny. Look- all you need to do is show up, smile, make small talk with the right people, and act grateful for the opportunity to be there. It's a real privilege to attend the spring social at Buckingham Palace, Daphne. A million girls would kill for that." "Good. Then they can go and I can stay home." "So not happening. You're going, end of story. It'll be a good family outing for your first full day back. And besides…. You might meet some eligible husband material there too."

My feet came to a freezing halt giving me the chance to shoot my brother a stare. "Oh, now don't start that again! I still have four more months of Masters left to go." "I thought you wanted to start applying for PhD positions next fall." My gaze lowered a bit. "Well I won't be able to unless….." My hands balled into fists; I always got really tense whenever we talked about this.

Anthony and I looked at each other again; my expression being totally sincere. "There's still time, Anthony. We can change the will." "Daphne…." He sighed but I wouldn't stop. "You can keep the estate! We'll divide my portion into seven equal parts, including my trust fund for PhD." "This is what Dad wanted, Daphne. He set up the will how he thought was best; it's not our place to question his judgment." "But we're the only ones benefitting from it! It's not right; what about our other siblings? We'll get everything and they'll get nothing? How can we not question judgment like that? We're all Daddy's children."

My brother watched me for a moment before gently easing me to walk forward by tugging my arm, still linked with his. "I know it's not perfect, baby sis. But when has English inheritance ever been perfect? You may not like it, but Dad knew what he was doing when he planned out his will. I get the estate, which amounts to half, and you get a little over ninety percent of the rest. When all is said and done, and I've paid property taxes and estate fees, you're actually making out with the most. And that's how Dad wanted it. That money you're sitting on makes you the most eligible Bridgerton sibling. It was his wish that you marry well, and to do so you need money. Money equals titles, in this economy," Anthony glanced forward while saying this last part. I eyed him, not saying anything right away. What could I say? I knew he was right. Daddy was a very traditional man, after all- titles and prestige were everything to him.

My lips eventually parted, taking in a silent breath. "But I don't want a title. I don't even want a husband! I want to move to Europe and get a PhD- no strings attached. Can't we at least change that part of the will?" "You know we can't. Dad set it up that you get your trust fund for PhD when you get married, otherwise you'll have to wait 'til you're thirty years old." "But I'm almost done now! Please, big brother; I'm begging you. I don't want to get married… Please change the will… so I can go into PhD next year."

Anthony's eyes glossed all over me. He wasn't smiling but he kept holding my arm very near him. My heart sank right out of me when he sighed gravely. "This isn't America; we can't just contest our father's will if we don't think it's fair. It would be seen as a public criticism to Dad if we tried to amend it, and we can't insult his memory like that; not in the society we live in." "But Anthony….!" "And look, I like the clause Dad put in for you, Daphne. You were his favourite child by far, and we both want someone to take care of you."

My eyes couldn't have rolled harder. See what I meant about the men in my family thinking we were living two hundred years ago? "This isn't the Regency Era, big bro. I can take care of myself." "With everything mental, yes. But there are some things men are just better at than women. A man can protect you and keep you from harm- that's his job." "You don't think I can protect myself?" I gave an upset smirk. "You weigh less than a hundred and thirty pounds and can barely lift thirty pounds. Plus I don't like you living alone in your… condition. Speaking of which, it's been an hour. Here, have some water," Anthony checked his watch before reaching into his bag and pulling out a water bottle. I rolled my eyes again and took it from him.

"You don't have to keep track of the time that closely, big bro. I can feel when I need something," I took a few sips. My eldest brother shook his head. "I don't care. It's been an hour and you're supposed to have a drink. I won't have you fainting at the social this afternoon." "I've told you before. I've never actually fainted," the back of my hand wiped my mouth. "But you lost your vision for three seconds a couple of months ago. It's getting worse, baby sis." I looked at him but didn't reply. He's right again; my vision did go completely white last winter for up to three seconds- maybe five. That's never happened to me before and it was admittedly scary. I think Anthony panicked more than I did though.

Anthony made sure I finished like half my water bottle before putting it back. Then he took my arm again and we started to go forward. "Drink at least two more bottles before we go this afternoon, and no drinking at the party." "I don't drink anyway, big bro. You know that." He smiled down at me, giving my arm another tender squeeze. "Yes, I know…"

A pregnant pause fell over us as we just enjoyed the park for a moment. When Anthony spoke next, his voice was much softer and soulful. "I just love you, baby sis; I can't help but worry about you. I promised Dad I'd look after you… I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything ever happened to you." Awe, Anthony…. How could I stay mad at a brother like him? I squeezed his arm right back. "I know you love me, big bro; I love you too. But you don't have to worry so much. And you definitely don't have to look after me. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. I have for the past year and a half in Belgium, after all….."

He scowled. "I still don't see why you couldn't have gone to an English university for Masters." "Because I wanted to get away and experience being on my own. No offence, but I've lived in that crowded manor with everyone my whole life. I wanted some freedom." "You have freedom here…. It's just… I can keep an eye on you when you're close." "You keep an eye on me anyway! We text every day." "I just want to check in. Is that so wrong?" I looked up to his face, watching him a second before smiling. "No… No, it's not."

Anthony sighed. The warm, calm spring breeze rolled over us, sending our hair scattering a bit. "Can you really blame me for any of this? Can you blame Dad? He just loved you so much… I know it's old-fashioned but he wanted a good marriage for you more than anything else. That's why you inherited so much…." "I know," my eyes lowered. I know… Anthony's head tilted upwards slightly. "You are the Bridgerton heiress- you are the most beautiful jewel this family contains." "Anthony…." My stare rejoined his. His smile was sad and solemn this time.

"Which is why… I couldn't possibly let you go…. for anyone who isn't deserving. We're looking for a duke at least, though a lord would be better." "A duke's a very good position, big bro." "Yes, but my darling baby sister deserves only the best," we paused again so to look at one another straight in the eye. Anthony's free hand reached up to brush a few stray hairs off my left cheek. "But until you meet the right man- and he better be perfect- I'll take his place and be the dominate male figure in your life." "Anthony." "You need a man watching over you; to make sure nothing ever happens to you…. That's why you need to get married. Though I know no one will ever truly be good enough for you." "Heh, how can you be so sure?" I giggled. Anthony's smile was sincere and profound this time. His thumb ran alongside my cheek, just like he used to do when we were children and I would cry.

"Because you're my sister. My precious baby sister…"


	4. The Spring Social

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bridgertons go to the spring social.

["Edmund, I shake my head at the way you're managing Daphne. That girl is too wild and free-spirited. She'll run loose if you let her. You've got to pull in the reins before her head gets too full of these new-fangled liberal ideas.

Remember, the one chance your family has at raising its station is for Daphne to marry well."]

Francesca watched Eloise and I get ready for the social this afternoon. To which I was still against going to, I might add! I was at the vanity, getting my hair ready; wearing a frown the whole time I did so.

"You know what marriage is? Marriage is willingly letting someone shackle you up, drag you around wherever he likes, and take away all your personal freedom…. Even if the chains are made of gold. What woman in her right mind would ever agree to something like that?" Eloise grinned to herself from where she was finishing lacing up her dress. "Well I, for one, can't wait to get married. It's not all doom and gloom, Daph." "Isn't it?" I retorted bitterly. She rolled her eyes. "Course not. There're some real sweet men out there. Men who are easy to fall in love with…. Marriage actually sounds pretty great, if it's with the right person," she then put in an earring.

I scoffed. "Easy for you to say. You don't have a PhD on the line." "Why don't you just not get a PhD? None of us are," Francesca chimed in. She was in the middle of munching on all the Belgium chocolate I'd brought back for her. "Because I want a PhD! It's been my dream since I was at the academy. I only made the mistake of telling our father that before he died…." Eloise's hand flung up above her. "Ah, why don't you just get on with it and get married? That would solve all your problems, then we wouldn't have to listen to you complain all the time." "I don't complain all the time! And don't worry; I'll get my PhD," I glanced back into the mirror at my reflection. Somehow…

A light tapping on the door caused us all to stir. "Five minutes, ladies," Anthony called from the other side. "We'll be right down!" Eloise hollered before turning her head back to me. "Just try to have a good time this afternoon, Daph. You're not the only one on the marriage market now." "There is no marriage market anymore! This is the twenty-first century, Eloise. You can meet someone online if you wanna date that badly." "Ha! The kind of guy I'm interested in won't be online. You can only meet at high-class functions like these."

"Speaking of high-class functions, Lady Whistledown just tweeted that everyone who's anyone in London will be at the spring social today!" Francesca read off her phone with excitement. "I thought I told you to stop following him! Seriously, I don't understand why you're not more freaked out by this. Some random guy who knows when you're leaving or entering the city- it's really creepy when you think about it," I shuttered. Eloise shot me a glare. "Would you stop saying "he"? You don't know it's a man." "Well even if it's not a man, it's still creepy. I don't even have social media and they're tweeting about me." "Don't forget Instagram!" Our little sister piped up. I frowned. "Thank you, Francesca," can't forget about that too. "Well you better make a good impression this afternoon, Daphne; unless you want Lady Whistledown blabbing about you to the whole world." "Oh, that would be nothing new. He's already saw fit to stalk me it looks like," I finished the conversion.

Benedict gave me a side hug when he finally arrived back at the estate. He showered, got changed quickly, and joined the four of our in the car out front. There was Anthony, Colin, Benedict, Eloise, and me going to the palace's affair; it was strictly for grown ups today. Along the way, Anthony coached us on what to do and whom to make sure to say hi to. To be frank, none of us were really interested in listening except for Eloise. She loved this sort of thing. The car rounded the corner into Buckingham Palace and Anthony turned to Benedict.

"Now I want you to keep an eye on Colin and Eloise. Make sure everything goes smoothly with you three. Daphne and I will do the majority of the visiting." "How come you and Daph get to have all the fun stuff?" Eloise pouted, folding her arms. "Because I'm the eldest brother and she's the eldest sister. You three can still mingle but be quiet and respect everyone else's time. If you need anything, find Benedict." "Gees, thanks, bro," Benny's eyes rolled dramatically. Anthony always assigned the younger siblings to him or Colin when Benedict was absent. That way he and I would be free to do as we please without having to worry about them. Well, I didn't have to worry about anyone; it was kind of an unspoken given that Anthony kept an eye on me at these things. Gotta love overly protective older brothers. Still, I didn't let that itself spoil the mood.

The car pulled up and the driver opened the door for us. Anthony exited first, extending his hand for me as I got out second. Then Benedict, then Colin, and finally Eloise. I know this may seem random but believe me, in situations like this nothing was done randomly. There was a long red trail on the ground leading to the garden around back. Lots of people were already there, wearing all fancy clothes and jewellery which looked uncomfortable. I think I was the only woman present who didn't have on any rings, brackets, earrings, or necklaces. Now how's that for class? What can I say? I don't like unnecessary things.

There was a formal system at play here. When one first entered the royal garden, one had to be announced at the entrance. Only then could you go inside and join everyone else. The queen and her family were at the back but we never got close to her or any royal. I felt much more comfortable staying nearer to the front of the party which is where we were announced in. This was an old-fashioned affair where you were called by title and position. If you didn't have one, you were simply "Mr.", "Mrs.", or "Miss". Eloise found this painfully embarrassing but I could have cared less. I didn't have a title; what's the shame in that? Billions of other people don't have them either. And I rather liked being a nobody and the lack of attention that entailed.

Eloise was announced first. After she was in, Colin was called up next. Then Benedict. For Anthony and I, things were a little different. Since we were the official heirs to Daddy's estate- and therefore the most eligible members of the family- it was only proper I be escorted in and Anthony escort someone. To quote Daddy: "People in your position do not enter alone." Before going in, we stood behind the entrance. Anthony peered down at me from the corner of his eye.

"Nervous?" "For a social? No." "Heh, you'd rather be at a museum or library, wouldn't you?" "You know me well, big bro." "You'll have a good time, I promise." He couldn't promise that but I grinned nonetheless; his heart is in the right place anyway. "What about you? Are you nervous?" "Mmmmm, I'd be less nervous if our siblings weren't here, but I think Benedict will do a good job of keeping them in line." "It's a party, Anthony; not a funeral," I reminded him. "I know, I know…. There's just… so much at sake." "We're not going to meet our future spouses today here, big bro. It's just one party; we'll be in and out, and home in time for dinner." He chuckled. "You're probably right. But just in case, keep your guard up and agree to nothing. If someone asks to take you out or something, come get me and the three of us will talk about it." "Do I need your permission to date now?" My eyebrow raised up. "Course not. But everyone here will be aware of what we're both getting from Dad, and you need to be careful." "I am careful, Anthony. I wouldn't agree to go out with anyone willy nilly. And besides, I'm too busy with Masters to date anyone right now anyway." "Good, that calms my nerves… a little," he said and I laughed. Then he took my arm in his and we stepped up to the front entrance to be announced in. "The Viscount Anthony Bridgerton and Miss Daphne Bridgerton!" He bellowed.

Oh, you'd never seen so many heads turn so fast. I groaned silently, trying my best to keep a straight face. My eldest brother gave my arm a squeeze of encouragement. "You're going to do great," he whispered on the sly. Heh, great; yeah, we'll see about that.

There was small talk; oh, the small talk. Frankly, small talk bores me to death. The only ones who are really good at it are Anthony, Colin, and Eloise. Benedict found some fellows he knew from Oxford to chum around with, and I made my way over to the food table- the only good part about these sorts of gatherings. I'll admit, I love good-tasting food, though my definition of "good-tasting" might not be as refine as you would expect. I loved street foods, particularly in Belgium and Paris. Give me a good Belgium waffle smothered with chocolate sauce, Oreos, strawberries, and whipped cream and I was in heaven. A good fish 'n chips with curry sauce would do just dandy too. While the rest of my family mingled, I stuck mainly to the food table, people-watching and not really doing anything else. It sounds horrible but I had no interest in talking to these people. It's not that I thought I was so high above them; small talk just bored me to tears. It seemed like such a waste of time to me better spent reading or watching a documentary.

Course I couldn't avoid people forever. Eloise shot me the sternest of glares and waved me forward when she saw me reaching for my third slice of cake. Rolling my eyes, I finally set my plate down and manoeuvred my way through the crowd. I was able to do so in such a way that I looked busy but was really doing nothing. Eventually Anthony found me, approaching my side. He'd been talking to someone named Siena for that past little while.

"Having fun?" "Is it time to leave yet?" I countered. "Not yet. Are you making sure to drink plenty of water?" "Yes, big bro," I rolled my eyes. "Good. Don't feel light-headed?" "No, I'm fine. Go back to your mingling; I'll be fine." "Alright. But stay close by; don't wander off too far into the garden." "Alright, alright," my hand shooed him away. He gave me one last smile before returning to Siena. I lazily wandered my gaze from him out into the crowd. Ugh, I'm so bored! When is someone interesting going to come along?

"Excuse me, Miss Bridgerton?" Oh boy, here we go. I take it back; I don't want anyone to come along. Wincing momentarily, my feet spun around to see Nigel Berbrooke standing there. He gleamed down at me with this wide smile. Now he was the first guy to talk to me tonight. You might think that's weird for someone apparently so "eligible" as me. But one word explains it all- Anthony. He did a very good job of monitoring who got to approach his precious baby sister, who I guess he didn't think was a very good judge of character herself. Nigel must have somehow managed to slip by him just now and was very off-putting by how wide his toothy grin was in my direction.

Still, I know Eloise would never let me hear the end of it if I was rude, so I forced a tiny grin back. "Good afternoon, Nigel." "Oh, you remember me?!" He sounded much too eager. "Yes. We met at the Christmas Ball two years ago." "Ah, yes; I remember that night well. You're looking…" He cleared his throat before carrying on. "You look beautiful, Miss Bridgerton." "Please, call me Daphne," my hand rose up. "Daphne…. Daphne," he said as if he was savouring the sound of my name in his mouth. Ok, I immediately regret it; Miss Bridgerton sounded much less creepy than that.

My fingers twisted together a bit in pure awkwardness. Honestly, I wanted to be anywhere but here at this moment. "Erm, so… W-What are you doing now? I mean are you working or….?" "Oh no, dear! I'm a Baron. I don't have to work," cause you know, that's charming to hear. It took everything I had not to frown in total disgust. "Oh… That's… nice." "A-And you! I hear you're living in Brussels now." "Uh, yes, while I'm getting my Masters. I want to apply for PhD positions this fall." "Ah, splendid! What are you getting your Masters in?" "Troubadourian history."

The grin immediately washed from his face, though I doubt he realized this was the case. Once he saw my physical reaction to this, his sickening grin quickly returned. "O-Oh, history! That's… useful. Are you planning on…. teaching or….?" Oh my god, he's struggling so hard to compliment I choice of study. Attractive, indeed. "Well, I don't know yet. We'll see where I'm at when I'm done my PhD." "Marvellous! And are you planning on getting your PhD here in England?" "No, I….."

"Daphne! Daphne!" Oh, thank god! Anthony's voice has never sounded better to my grateful ears. He rushed over to us, taking my shoulders in both hands. He flashed Nigel a mild, dismissive smile. "Will you excuse us, Nigel? I have to get to my sister a drink." "Now?" My eyebrow rose up at him. "It's been over an hour," he stated flatty down at me. "Oh, come on, Anthony," I sighed, forgetting that this was my ticket away from Nigel for a second. Upon hearing this, however, Nigel perked up with enthusiasm.

"Oh! Well if Daphne… er, Miss Bridgerton is thirsty, I'll be more than happy to get a drink with her. Would some white wine do?" I had to cover my mouth with my hand to hide the smile I got when Anthony shot Nigel the most monstrous glare. You'd think Nigel's tried to poison me or something. "My sister does not drink alcohol, sir. It is bad for her condition. Come on, Daphne," taking my hand, Anthony got me the heck out of there, leaving a dumbstruck Nigel behind. Was that brash of my brother? Yes. Was I grateful he did it? Hell yes!

Anthony brought me off to the side and stationed me near a wall. "Wait here. I'll go get you some water." "Alright. Take your time; no rush." "Try not to sound like you're having too much fun," he smirked at me before leaving. I could perfectly well fetch my own water but any excuse to get away from that horrific scene was good enough for me.

While I waited, this tall, dark-skinned, very handsome man in a crimson jacket came over to the refreshment table. He poured himself a glass of punch and spun around to survey the party. I watched him for a minute, then also glanced back at the crowd. When I gazed back, I was surprised to see him looking me now.

Neither of us said anything right away, more so merely observing each other. When that got too uncomfortable my lips opened a little. "Enjoying the party?" That was the best thing I could think of to say spur of the moment like that. "It's palatable," was his tart reply. "That's good…." My eyes gazed back forward. See what I mean about being horrible at small talk? Though I couldn't help feel his eyes on me from their corner once again.

"You're Anthony's sister, aren't you? That Bridgerton heiress." Well now, talk about attitude. What kind of a way was that to speak to a lady? Yes, I'm an heiress, but not by choice. To think he even knew me by that…. Nugh! Not ten seconds in and I already don't like him. The cheeky jerk. Well, if he's going to be a brat, then so am I.

"Mmmmmm, you're right, sir. Sorry I don't recognize you; my brother's never mentioned you before," that's about as sick a burn as I can muster without foreplanning. His eyebrow raised slightly. "Am I honestly to believe you don't already know my name?" My eyes widened at the arrogance in this guy's tone. Man! No wonder Anthony's never brought him up; he's a total creep! Talk about being high and mighty about yourself. Who does he think he is? Some sort of celebrity? Maybe he is a celebrity…. Oh, I don't care! You shouldn't talk to people like that. It's rude and conceded…. Just ugh! Thank god no one's forcing me to marry someone like him.

I didn't hold back my unimpressed and unamused frown anymore. "No, in fact; I don't know your name, and I think I'm ok with that." His expression when I said this… Priceless. "What?" That was the only response he could think of I'm sure. My smirk began to return. "Now if you'll be so kind to excuse me, I have a Masters dissertation to contemplate." And I was about to walk away until….

"Basset!" All the satisfaction I previously felt drained away at the sight of my eldest brother bouncing towards us with two glasses of water in his hands. He seemed a little too happy for my liking to see whoever this was standing here with me. Red coat guy also seemed pleased at the arrival of my brother.

"Bridgerton!" "Come here, old friend!" Anthony set the glasses down and gave this man a hug. They pulled apart, still keeping their hands on one another. "I heard about your dad. I'm so sorry, Simon." "It's alright… I'm alright," this Simon- what I suppose he was called- nodded. "Well, now at least you're finally the Duke of Hastings! Well done, old chap!" Anthony gave him a slap on the arm. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat, grabbing their attention again. "Anthony," I gave him a pleading look. His eyes snapped in realization.

"Oh, right! Here's your water; I brought you two, since they're small glasses," he handed them to me, which is not what I meant for him to do. Simon's eyebrow raised once more in an unimpressed manner. "You're drinking water at a party?" "She has a condition which alcohol makes worse. You remember how bad my dad's blood pressure was? Well, turns out its hereditary," Anthony told Simon. Then he spun to address me.

"Baby sis, this is Simon Basset, the new Duke of Hastings. We were students at Oxford together." Anthony turned next back to Simon. "Simon, this is Daphne; my sister. You remember me talking about her? She's the one who went off to university in Brussels." "Ah yes, the "scholar" in the family," he jeered, making me frown. This pompous….! Too bad Anthony didn't seem to think so. He lowered his eyes a tad at Simon- affectionately, I might add. "We'll have to catch up sometime. Don't be a stranger at the club." "I won't. Thank you, Anthony." My brother gave him one last smile, then took my arm. "Have a good afternoon, Simon." "You as well, Anthony…. Daphne." Oh god, don't say my name, I inwardly rolled my eyes. With that, Anthony led us away to where our other siblings were coagulating. I made the mistake of looking over my shoulder at Simon a final time, only to be punished at the image of him looking back. I glanced forward and sighed gravely. "If I never see him again, it'll be too soon." Anthony laughed at this. "Oh, he's not so bad. At least I can relax a little with him." "Why's that?" "Cause he's not interested in you- he's not interested in anyone, as far as I can tell."

"Mmmmm, thank god for that."


	5. A New Position Opens Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne visits her old university, only to learn some interesting news.

I ushered everyone onto the tram. "Now hold each other's hands and stand by the wall," were my instructions to the youngest three Bridgerton siblings. Today was my outing with Francesca, Hyacinth, and Gregory. We were going to visit the Tower of London, the university, and ending it off with some ice cream downtown. Anthony had some of our father's late paperwork to handle, and Eloise and Benedict were spending the day together off somewhere. Who knew what Colin was up to; he and I didn't really talk much since Daddy died. Can't be close to all your siblings, I guess.

Happily though, my three youngest brother and sisters were having a marvellous time. "We never get to ride in the subway," Hyacinth exclaimed while scanning all around. I smiled down at her. "We're not so posh that we can't take the train. I do this all the time in Europe; it's no big deal." "Eloise said taking the train is for normal people, and being normal is overrated," Gregory told me. My grin began to fade. "Well Eloise's head comes to a point," course they didn't understand what this meant but I thought it was funny.

"Now arriving at Temple Station," the speaker spat. "Ok, everyone. This is our stop," grabbing Gregory and Hyacinth's hands, I managed to get them all off the tram just as easily as I got them on. After making sure they were all here, I next led them up the staircase and out into the street. King's London College wasn't a far walk from here and the road wasn't too busy this afternoon. I held the youngest two's hands the whole time while Francesca buried her face in her phone's screen.

"Ooooooh, listen to what Lady Whistledown tweeted about yesterday's social!" "Francie, I told you to unfollow him! It's not healthy for you to read mindless gossip all the time." "But it's interesting! Here, she talks about practically everyone who attended. Ooooooh with so much detail too!" "Well, at least we know the stalker was at the social. Lovely," my eyes rolled. "Do you know who it is?" Gregory asked me, peering up curiously. "I have no idea," I gave his hand a loving squeeze. At least I can be thankful these two didn't have social media accounts- yet.

Francesca waved her hand eagerly at me. "Oh! Listen to this, Daph! There's something here about you!" "What could he possibly have to say about me?" "She wrote: "Miss Daphne Bridgerton was a vision for the eyes to behold. I shan't be surprised if she was the most beautiful lady in attendance." Uh oh, my face grew pale. Sounds like this stalker might have a thing for me. Great! That's just what I need. Some gossipy man watching my every mood. Wonder when it would be a good idea to get the police involved?

"Wait, there's more! She said: "Unfortunately Miss Bridgerton seemed to be of the opinion that yesterday's gala was a bore. She made little effort to converse with any of the ladies or gentlemen present, several of whom are above her station. It is clear that her disposition has been ruined with books and learning aboard," my younger sister read off. My cheeks burned a little in anger. "Ruined with books? Well! Someone certainly doesn't see the value in educating women. No wonder he writes like it's 1813; he forgot he's living is the twenty-first century!" "I like the way Lady Whistledown writes. It's unique," Francesca thought it wise to add on. "What does she mean "ruined with books"?" Hyacinth inquired confused. I shook my head. "Nothing. He's just some creep who wastes too much time stalking random strangers for fun. He sounds like an incel if you ask me." "What's an incel?" Francesca's eyebrow raised. "Someone you want to stay away from. Now come on, we're almost there," in an attempt to drop the subject, I hurried them all across the street when the light turned green.

Once on my old campus, I took my siblings to the Gordon Museum of Pathology. They weren't too young to learn about that sort of thing. Once at the front entrance I got down on one knee to so meet them all eye-to-eye. "Ok, now go inside, have a look around, and stay together. I'll text Francesca on my way back." "Where are you going?" Gregory questioned. "I'm going to my old department building. You three stay here; I won't be long." "Awe, a museum! But I don't wanna spend all afternoon in another museum," Francesca groaned. "You won't. Don't worry, I won't be gone long. And when I get back, we'll go for ice cream, ok?" "Ok," they didn't sound to enthralled. Still, I grinned and gave the younger two a kiss on the forehead before they dashed off inside. I suppose I should have told them not to make noise or run around in there. Oops. Oh well, I had other matters to attend to.

The history department was usually quiet around this time of day. I knew my way around this place like the back of my hand. I opened the front door, went to the elevator, and rode up to the third floor. There at the front desk the same receptionist who'd worked there while I'd gone to school instantly beamed over at me as I stepped off the elevator.

"Daphne!" "Hello, Mrs. Bell. How are you?" "I'm very well, thank you! Oh, this is a surprise! I thought you weren't coming back to London until the end of August." "Change of plans. My brother insisted I come home for Easter." "Well, I'm so happy you did! It's so good to see you, love. How's Brussels treating you?" "Oh, it's wonderful. I love living in Europe. I went to Paris two weekends ago, but that stays between us," I hadn't told anyone over here about my little excursion. She chuckled, giving her lovely head a shake. "That's terrific. And how's the university? You and your supervisor getting along?" "Yes! It's going great! I've already got two chapters done. Well, they're not done "done", but the material's there. I just need to edit them some more." "Good for you! Two chapters down, two to go," she smiled. "Heh, if I can finish that by August," I tilted my head slightly to the side. "You will, you'll make sure you do." "Thanks, Mrs. Bell. Is Dr. Pillar…..?" She giggled again, nodded her head. "You're just in luck! She went to her office to fetch something. Go say hello! She'll be so happy to see you." "Thank you. It was really nice to see you again." "You too, dear. Have a good stay in England!" "I will! Have a good day!" With a wave, I took off towards Dr. Pillar's office. The clock was ticking and I didn't want to leave my siblings alone for too long.

I rounded the corner and spotted Dr. Pillar just locking up her office door. She had a stack of papers in her other arm and a tout bag over her shoulder. A smile drew across my lips as I ran up to her. "Dr. Pillar!" "Daphne?" She was surprised to see me once again in the department. But a pleasant sort of surprise. Her expression soon mirrored mine.

"Daphne! Dear!" My old supervisor extended out her free arm to give me a hug. I embraced her with both my arms. "Oh, it's so good to see you again!" "You too! My goodness, it isn't August already, is it?" She pulled back so to face me. "No, I just came back for Easter. I could use the break though, I just got two chapters written." "Oh, well it sounds like you're doing wonderful in Brussels," she praised. "I hope so," my hand rubbed the back of my neck a bit shyly. "How's everything going? You like Masters?" "I love it! I can't wait to start PhD." "Mmmmmm, and have you been looking at schools? Maybe visiting a few?" We began to walk in unison down the hall together. "I've visited a couple in Paris, Vienna, and all over the Netherlands. Course I haven't told anybody about this yet." "Oh? Why's that? Your family wants you to return to the UK for PhD?" "Eh, something like that. I think Anthony has his heart set on me moving back when I'm done Masters," I gazed forward in mild embarrassment. She nodded in understanding. "But you have other plans?" "I'd like to stay in Europe if I could. It's just finding a position….." And you know, paying for it.

Dr. Pillar thought a second, then looked back my way. "You know, there is a doctoral position which just opened up in the University of Amsterdam." "Amsterdam?!" My eyes lit up. Did I mention Amsterdam is my most favourite city in the world? It's a liberal person's paradise, which means it's perfect for someone like me. Plus the university is right downtown. It's in an ideal location!

Of course Dr. Pillar could hear the sheer excitement in my voice, making her grin grow. "Yes. It has a feminist element, so I thought you might be interested." "What's the research subject?" Not that it really mattered. This is Amsterdam we're talking about. "Women in lyrical literature in the Early Medieval Period. Does that sound like something you'd like to research?" "Are you kidding? This is like winning the lottery!" This made her laugh. "Well in that case, would you like me to send you the link to the application? It's a closed application, so you have to be recommended for the position in order to apply." "Yes! Yes, please! I'd love that! I really, really, really want to apply!" "Keep in mind, it's not funded." "That's ok! I'll make it work! I just really want to apply. Please send me the link." She laughed again. "Consider it done. I'll write you a reference letter too when the time comes." "When does it start?" "This October. You'll have to move from Brussels to Amsterdam by September at the latest. Would that be ok for you?" "Yes, that's doable. It's only like a three-hour bus ride. I'd be fine. Plus I want to submit my dissertation early… just in case I get an interview." "If you get an interview, you've basically got the position. Don't accept it unless you're sure you want to move to Holland and live there for the next four years." "Trust me, Dr. Pillar; this is what I want. It's what I've been dreaming of since I started university." She patted my arm in assurance. "Then everything will be fine. Just get the application in by the end of June." "Can do! Thanks again! I really appreciate this!"

We said our goodbyes and I rushed back to the museum. I won't lie, there was an obvious spring in my step; I looked like a child who'd just been given the keys to the candy store. I can't believe it! Amsterdam! How lucky can a woman be? And on such a brilliant topic too. Ah, I'd be in research heaven. I was too wrapped up in warm, happy feelings to let that whole condition on my PhD trust fund bring me down. For the moment there was just bubbly joy. Joy and the fact that I might secure a PhD position by this summer! Could life get any better?!

Just as I thought that, my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Thinking it might be Francesca demanding to know where I was, I was a little surprised to see Anthony's picture on the screen. "Hello?" "Hi, baby sis." "Hi, big bro. What's up?" "Not too much. Just calling to check in really. You four having fun?" "Oh yeah, we're having lots of fun. They liked the tower… well, I liked the tower. Now we're at the university." "The university?" "Yeah. I just wanted to come say hi to my old supervisor." "Heh, bet they're loving that." "I left them at the museum; they're not bored… probably."

Anthony chuckled from his end. "Now what's on the docket?" "Going to get ice cream." "Well don't eat too much. I've invited the Duke of Hastings over for dinner tonight." My smile completed disappeared. "What?! Why would you do that?" "Because he's my friend and we haven't seen each other in a long time?" "Can't you see each other at the club?" "We'll do that some other time. I want to spend as much with you as I can while you're here, and besides, it'll be nice to have a family dinner together." "We do that every night!" "Nevertheless he's coming and you're going to be nice and respectful." "Fiiiiiiine," I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly. Another chuckle left his lips. "Oh come on, baby sis. He's not that bad." "I never said he was bad. I said I wanted nothing to do with him." "Well, don't worry. He's coming to see me. You just have to be civil at dinner." "I'll try." "That's my sister!"

"Mkay, well I gotta go get our siblings before they kill me for taking too long." "Alright then. You feeling alright? Not dehydrated or anything?" "No, Anthony. I'm fine; trust me." "I do trust you. I just…. well, you know. Have a good afternoon; enjoy your ice cream." "I will. See you at dinner." "See you at dinner. And remember, be nice." "I will! I will!

Believe me, I got a lot more on my mind right now than bothering with Simon."


	6. Dinner At The Bridgertons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family fight with a hint of cuteness at the end.

I could hire a lawyer. But there isn't enough money left in my Masters trust fund to get a good lawyer. And if I asked Anthony to pay, he'd ask why I need a lawyer. I could work while going to school, but my visa won't allow me to work full-time; and any money I'd make would go towards my living expenses- forget about tuition. So I can't work, and hiring a lawyer is out of the question…. Nugh! It's at stupid clause! There's got to be a way around it. There has to be some way for me to start PhD in the fall and remain single. I just… need to figure it out, that's all.

And I need to do it before interviews start.

I hadn't realized how quiet I'd been or how long I'd been picking at my food with my fork. While everyone else was chattering away, I was silent and contemplative, staring down at my plate with my cheek propped up by my fist. Unsurprisingly I wasn't paying attention to whatever they were talking about. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about what Dr. Pillar said since I left the department. It suddenly felt like there was this ticking clock above my head; one which I couldn't ignore. Or so I thought.

I only flinched, coming back down to reality when I suddenly heard my name. It was Francesca, babbling to the whole table about what that damn Lady Whistledown wrote about me on Twitter. "No, it's true! She said Daphne was the most beautiful girl at the social!" "Huh, what?" I perked up out of my daze. "Did she really?" Eloise blinked to me in astonishment. "Didn't she say Daph was ruined by books or something else?" Gregory tacked on puzzled. "Oh yeah, she also said that Daphne's ruined her disposition with books, whatever that means," Francesca popped an olive into her mouth.

Benedict and Colin snickered while Anthony rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I wish you'd stop reading everything she tweets." "Exactly. I think well-educated women are actually rather sexy. See lots of them at school," Colin said, earning a sharp glare from our eldest brother. Then he turned his head back toward me. "Don't worry about what that old gossip writes, Daphne. There's no truth in it. Well, except for the you looking lovely part." "Thanks," I muttered, staring back down at my plate. I'd somehow moved my potatoes to be in the shape of Holland. Fancy that.

My brother blinked at me with concern now. "Baby sis, are you feeling alright? You've been awfully quiet this evening." "Ah, she's just mad that Simon's here," Eloise lacked the common sense not to say. This definitely caught my attention, as it did Simon's. Both our heads shot up, which was a mistake since we were sitting across from each other. As such, our eyes locked for the first time that night and stayed that way for a minute. Anthony, who was sitting between us at the head of the table, was not impressed with our sister's comment.

"Don't be impertinent, Eloise. Course she's happy to see Simon; we all are." "Yeah, Dad liked you. He always thought you were a good friend for Anthony," Benedict chimed in, speaking to Simon directly. We were still looking at one another when his shoulders finally relaxed. This cute little cunning smirk rolled across his lips. Wait… Did I just think it was "cute"? I meant idiotic! Him and is idiotic smirk, which was currently facing me.

"Thank you, Benedict. But Miss Bridgerton does seem to be displeased," this was aimed at me. My eyes widened a little. "Not at all. I was just… thinking." "Hmmmm, about?" That was nosy of him to ask. I frowned. "It's not important. You wouldn't be interested. After all, I'm just the "scholar of the family"." Francesca nearly choked on the juice she was gulping as she started to laugh. Simon's stupid smirk began to fade while my grin returned. I admit, I liked these little spats between us, especially when I win. However our eldest brother was not so amused. He dabbed his lips with his napkin and looked at me.

"Now Daphne, is that any way to speak to a guest?" "I'm not five years old, Anthony. You don't need to scold me." "No, no; please. I enjoy seeing your sister's true colours. She certainly isn't the bore one would expect a Masters of history to be," Simon smirked again, causing me to glance back at him. What did he just say?! Was that a shot? That sounded like a shot. The jerk!

Colin laughed. "Oh please. Daphne is the most boring person in the world. She could have gone to school for anything and what does she choose? Studying Medieval history." "Daddy loved history," I shot back at him. "Dad loved English history. He'd be turning in his grave if he knew you were studying continental history abroad," he said with little restraint. "I study English history as well. I don't neglect any part of Europe- that would be bad research form."

Simon saw his opportunity. He leaned back in his chair a little. "Well Brussels is a hub for European history, culture, and modern-day transportation. I'd like to think you should be happy about that." "Mmmmm well I am happy, but perhaps it would be best if you didn't think of me at all. No good can come from it, I'm sure," I took a sip of my water. Anthony side-eyed me. "Daphne…." But Simon's smirk grew. "You sure about that?" "Absolutely. From what this Lady Whistledown writes of you, I can tell you're a rake through and through." "What's a rake?" Eloise inquired, to which I ignored her.

The Duke of Hastings eyes intensified onto mine. "So you do read Lady Whistledown's tweets?" "Not at all. My sisters read them to me." "They're informative! It's important to know what's what in today's high society," one of them said, making me roll my eyes. "It can't be all that important, considering our eldest sister's trying her best to leave high society," Colin held back no venom in his tone this time. This caused everyone to look at him, including me and Simon. No one was smiling anymore; my eyes narrowed in onto him.

"What?" "That's why you went to Brussels, isn't it? To escape this "way of life"?" "I went to Brussels because they have a great university well-known for its research in history. It has nothing to do with you," my own tone was tart. "Mmmmmm, I see. So you go abroad with your trust fund while the five of us stay here in London?" "I mean, he's kinda got a point. Not all of us have the luxury of taking something we actually enjoy. Most of us will have to work for a living after we graduate," Eloise tacked on to Colin's point.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Anthony had this look of horror on his face, Simon seemed very uncomfortable, and I just gawked at them appalled. See, this is why I don't like coming home much anymore. We all used to be so close and like each other… Then Daddy died and his will had to be read out to the entire family.

Coming back to his senses, Anthony cleared his throat. "Now this is not appropriate dinner conversation. We have a guest," he admonished the two. Colin was not to be deterred, also leaning back in his seat. "If he's your friend, then he might as well know all about the family drama." "Enough, Colin," Benny chimed in. Colin gave him a look. "You can't say anything. Dad let you enrol in Oxford before he passed away. The rest of us don't have that opportunity," he meant that Anthony wouldn't let any of them go to Oxford or to any school outside of London. "You're still going to a good school- all of you will be. You don't have to go to Oxford for a decent education." "Easy for you to say. You, Anthony, and Daphne all have education trust funds," Colin spat. "Yes, while we're at the mercy of Anthony's generosity," Eloise added sourly.

Anthony slammed his hands down onto the table. "Of course you're going to university! That's coming out of my own inheritance. You don't have to worry about money until you're twenty-five. By then, you'll have graduated." "Money… What money? You and Daphne get everything. You're the ones with the real power in this family; you get to make all the decisions for the rest of us," Colin fired back. This made me mad. Course he would say something like that. He thought money automatically meant freedom, and here I was trying to find a way to get free.

I gave him an upset glare. "You know something, Colin? Just because I'm an heiress doesn't mean I can do whatever I want. I was in your exact same position went it came to undergrad, don't forget." "So you had to stay in London for three more years? Big deal. You're sitting on a huge trust fund for PhD. Even if any of us wanted to go to grad school, we don't have the nest egg you do," Eloise declared. Benedict ran his hand over his face. "Anthony already told you, Eloise; your education will be taken care of." "That's not the point," she retorted. "Then what is the point? That money means nothing to me if I can't access it," my hand smacked on my chest. "At least it's there for you!" She countered upset. "Yes, it's there for me, but that doesn't make me free to do as I please. I'm still under Daddy's late thumb too!"

Colin and Eloise both glared at me like I was so privileged- which I was! They just didn't realize what a difficult position I was in at the moment. Colin's lips parted a sliver. "You don't like the conditions your inheritance comes with. Well guess what? We live with the same conditions and we aren't getting anything." "Come on, you guys. Stop it," Anthony tried to put an end to everything. Even the kids were looking scared by now. My eyes sharpened onto him. "You don't get it, Colin. I know what you're going through." "You don't have a clue what the six of us going through," he swiftly countered. "Yes, I do. I wanted to move for undergrad too, but that wasn't on the table for me." "Oh yes, you inherit everything, and yet you can't choose the school you like," he leaned in a bit closer; his eyes razor sharp onto mine. "It's a shame too.

You would have done well at Cambridge."

No one dared make a sound. I simple ogled him for what felt like an entirely, though it was only a second in reality. Then, without warning, I slid my chair out and begun marching towards the door. Anthony stood up out of his chair in a panic. "Baby sis!" He called out, to no reply. I could only imagine the look he was giving Colin right now. "What's the matter with you?!" "What's the matter with me?! She started it!" He defended himself. "How could you say that to her?!" Then, as if to remember Simon was still in the room, Anthony's tone of voice quickly altered. "I'm so sorry, dear friend." That was the last thing I heard before I reached my room, slamming the door shut.

I did my best not to cry, I was that emotional. That little jerk! The worst part was that I knew he was right- he and Eloise were both entirely right. Daddy was a staunch traditionalist, just like his father, and his father before him. He genuinely believed that it was best if the man of the house be the metaphorical "head of the house". The only one who held all the cards was him, and after he died Anthony. Anthony controlled the purse strings, which meant he had the final say in where everyone lived and went to school. I only got to move to Europe because Daddy set up a Masters trust fund for me without any conditions. I think he expected me to be married by the time I was done Masters, or at least be engaged. That's why he put that damn clause on my PhD trust fund. More than anything he wanted to see me get married. That's what he wants and that's what he told Anthony to make happen, even though my eldest brother was in no hurry to do so. Ugh, I hated it! I hated the fact that I had to submit and obey to these powerful men- even if I did love them.

Can you blame me for not wanting to get married?

I was sitting on the floor, still doing my best not to cry when there was this gentle tapping at my door. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Please, Anthony; I just need to be alone right now." More tapping. Nugh! Didn't he get the point?! I needed some alone time. Growing frustrated, I got up and began to open the door. "Didn't you hear me? I said…."

All words froze in my mouth at the sight of-definitely-not-my-brother. Simon was standing there with a cup of water in his hand. He wore a mildly surprised and concerned expression; I think he half expected to find me crying in here. I hid a bit timidly behind the door, peeking only my head and arm out now. Simon also seemed a tiny bit awkward.

"Um, I'm sorry. I heard you come down this way." "What do you want?" I didn't hold back any emotion. He eyed me for a second before extending the full glass out my way. I blinked at it bewildered. "You… came to bring me water?" "Well, I didn't know if you had any in here," he shrugged. My eyebrow raised a bit suspiciously. "Why did you bring me that? Did Anthony send you?"

Simon's head shook. "You were worked up, and I remember your brother telling me of your condition. Drinking water's good for you, isn't that right?" I came out from the door a tad, still dumbfounded at what was happening. "You…. remember that?" "How could I forget? Your brother used to worry about your father all the time back in college. He's even more concerned for your welfare. That and…. I know stress can make your situation worse. So I thought I might… I might…." The words stopped falling from Simon's lips and his eyes wandered down a bit. I watched him, not immediately saying anything- though my hand did loosen its tense grip on the doorknob.

"Anyway, here; take the water. It can't hurt." "T-Thank you!" I took the glass, kind of dumbstruck. Wait, was he being… nice to me? Did he care about my condition? It's so hard to tell with him. Sensing that he wanted me to do something, I took a few gulps of water, not taking my eyes off him the whole time. When he seemed satisfied with that, I lowered the cup and smacked my lips.

"Well, thank you. I….. appreciate your concern." "Oh, I wasn't concerned. You needn't worry about any of that. I have no interest you or any of your effects, Miss Bridgerton." This made me smile. "Good, cause I have zero interest in you either. Even if you are a devilishly handsome rouge." He chuckled. "Nor I you: the immeasurably beautiful heiress who's so full of personality…." And for the first time since we met, we actually smiled at each other. A soft, gentle, organic smile….

"You better get back. They'll be wondering where you ran off to." Simon turned on his heels at this and began making his way down the hall. His hands were clasped behind his back. "Be sure to drink all of it," he told me over his shoulder. I grinned back at him. "I will." With one last look my way, Simon spun his head back forward and turned the corner at the end of the hall. I shut the door, staring off into space. Eventually I glanced down at the glass in my hand when I felt it against my palm and fingers again.

Huh, that was weird. No one's ever brought me a glass of water but Daddy and Anthony- and they had to cause we're related. But Simon… He had no legitimate reason to bring me anything. We barely even knew one another. So then why did he….? I'm honestly surprised he remembered my condition; Anthony mentioned it in passing to him yesterday. Yet he went to the kitchen, filled a glass of water, and followed me all the way upstairs to my room. He didn't even want to come inside my room…. He just wanted to give this to me.

Why? Why would a man do something so menial for a woman he's not related or married to? Why would he even remember something so trivial about me? I don't understand. Then again, I have no experience with men except for the ones in my family, which is purely non-romantic.

My eyes widened at the thought. Wait, romantic? No, course not; that's not what's going on here. Simon said himself he's not interested in me. And I'm certainly not interested in him. I can't allow myself to be interested in anyone…. Not with PhD in the wings. I sighed, leaning up against the wood of the door. I polished off the rest of the water and stared into the empty cup, twirling it slightly in front of my face.

"Oh, who am I kidding? I'm destined to be wedded. That's my future… Might as well kiss PhD goodbye," I groaned out loud to myself. Then I paused to inspect the glass again. I don't want to get married because all I've ever known is controlling men. Sure, they do it out of love, but it's still control… And don't get me wrong, I loved Daddy with all my heart and utterly love Anthony. It's just that…. marriage means even more loss of freedom. I mean, it's not like I can marry someone like Simon….

My eyes lowered onto the glimmer of the glass. This genuine smile drew across my lips again. No, I can't let myself have a crush on someone like Simon, no matter how incredibly handsome he is. I've never pictured myself with a husband like him because that kind of thing just doesn't happen in reality. This is real life, and I'm not so lucky so to be a heroine in a classic romance novel or tv show. My lips parted a sliver; my thumb ran up alongside the cup's wall. But still… But still, I can't help but wish….

Whoever my future husband may be, I hope he brings me cups of water too.


	7. Can You Be Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony encourages Daphne to try and be friends with Simon, whom he believes has zero interest in his sister.

I was lying flat on my stomach on my bed with my arms underneath my pillow and my head facing the wall. I had no clue what time it was and wasn't really bothered by that. There was this soft tapping at the door again. When I didn't say anything, my eldest brother opened it a crack.

"Baby sister?" Nothing. He opened it further, coming inside to sit on the edge of my bed; the door shut behind him. "Are you alright?" Still nothing from me. He let out a sigh. "Now, now, please don't be mad at your brother. He just….. lost his temper. Colin didn't mean it, I'm sure." "What? That I would have done well at Cambridge?" I muttered lowly; I was feeling quite tired at the moment. "You graduated the top of your class at King's University College. You did exceptionally well there, Daphne; don't downplay that accomplishment." I sighed heavily, not replying to this. Anthony waited a moment before continuing.

"The truth is… I didn't want you leave home so soon. You were so young and I wanted you close where I could keep an eye on you." "I know that, brother," that was no secret. "But… I don't want you to be unhappy either. I truly do love you, Daphne; I never want to hurt you, ever." "I know that too, big bro," my eyes lowered a bit. He let another long sigh. "I know…. you may not agree with my methods, but this is how we were raised. I can't stomach the idea of someone not being there for you if you need them. How could I not? You've always had me and Dad around before…." "Anthony….."

My eldest brother drew in a deep inhale. "It won't be like this forever. You'll get into a good PhD one day." "One day? Whenever that'll be…. and wherever," I spat under my breath. Anthony's hand reached out to rest on my upper back, just below the shoulder. "When you get married, you can go to any school you want for PhD." "You can't promise me that." "There are lots of good men out there; good men with titles. When the time is right, you and I will find one for you. I won't consider anyone who won't let you go into PhD. But we have time, Daphne; there's lots of time to find Mr. Perfect. So I don't want you to worry about that. For now, just focus on finishing up your Masters. The rest will be taken care of, I give you my word; just leave it to me."

I rolled onto my side so to face Anthony. He flashed me a kind, tender smile, still keeping his hand on my shoulder. "You really are in no hurry for me to get married, are you?" His head shook, still grinning. "No. I want to keep you around for as long as possible. I know that may be a bit selfish, but you are my favourite sibling… and life just seems easier, when you're nearby." "Thanks, big bro," I smiled. He patted my shoulder before placing his hand back onto his leg.

"But I still want you to apologize to the Duke. Things got out of control tonight and I was rather embarrassed. You owe him that much, baby sis." "Alright, I'll apologize," I sighed in defeat. "Good. I know you may not like him all that much, but I still want you to try and be friends with him," Anthony continued. This caused me to blink up at him in surprise. "Me….. be friends with Simon?" He nodded. "Simon is a very good friend whom I haven't seen in a while. He was really kind to me at Oxford when I didn't have my acquaintances. And he's a good person; he's never been loose with women or drank or partied too much. He's never had an interest in dating or getting married at all." "Mmmmm, you sure he's not gay?" I questioned, genuinely wondering for a moment.

Anthony looked appalled. "No, he's not gay! Not that there would be anything wrong if he was." "Course not," I agreed. "He just…. was never interested in any of that, which is perfectly fine. No one's forcing him to marry." "Must be nice," my eyes rolled off to the side. My brother sent me a disapproving look. "He's not an heiress who has a considerable condition to monitor." "The doctor says… well, at least I'm not full-on fainting," though it's true; it is getting worse with age and that's likely not going to stop anytime soon. And Anthony knew this. He was more aware of this than anyone, considering that he's the one who found our father after he fainted and cracked his head open on his desk. That was the start of Daddy's physical health rapidly declining.

Anthony's head shook again. "But you may one day, which is why….." "I know, I know. You don't need to say it," I flipped back onto my back so to stare at the ceiling. My hand lifted to rest on my forehead. A pregnant pause fell over us, which he broke a minute later. "Look, just for while you're here, try and get along with Simon. He's a dear friend of mine, and it would easier for me to see him more… if you two were at least on cordial terms. Can you do that for me?"

I looked at my brother, then my eyes wandered down to the empty glass cup on my nightstand. The glass Simon brought to me a couple of hours ago….. and all without Anthony having to ask him. As I continued to behold it, my lips parted on their own accord. Me? Friends with Simon? Well, I guess there've been crazier ideas. It's not like Anthony is trying to arrange something between us, and he does seem to genuinely care for Simon. And I bet Simon also wishes he could spend more time with my brother…. It would be cruel to not and at least try to get along…. for Anthony's sake. That, and… I don't think the Duke hates me. He's definitely not interested in me as a potential girlfriend, but what about as a friend? Could we be friends? Or even just like each other as people? Could I ever learn to like Simon for the man he is? Only one way to find out! I smiled back at Anthony, nodding my head a little.

"I think I can manage that."


	8. He Stalks Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne has a dangerous encounter at another social.

[The first time I was ever stalked- at least to my knowledge of- was on my second visit to Paris. I had gone once with the family before Daddy died, and another time since starting Masters. It was that time I realized I was being followed.

I'll never forget it. The first time it happens to you, it's the most frightening thing in the world. I don't think words can do it justice. But now I know what a mouse or deer must feel like, being stalked by a predator. You know something out there wants you, and is eyeing you, surveying your every movement. But you also know that their intentions with you are completely sinister; it would bring you nothing but pain and them pleasure. That's what's so terrifying about it, I believe. Just knowing that this person wants you for all the wrong reasons. It's the most selfish act in the world, and at the time, I couldn't imagine I more horrifying situation.

Strange as it might sound though- and perhaps this is horrible in its own right- you get oddly used to it. I was trailed at least three times my first weekend in Brussels. Everyone I met in Europe told me it would happen; they said to watch out. Initially I didn't believe them- I thought that Paris incident was a one-off case. Oh, boy; how I was wrong.

Now getting stalked is par for the course. At first it was pure terror coursing through my veins; now it's just "I'm trying to eat my waffle. Can't I have a moment of peace?". How do you know someone is stalking you, you might wonder? It's painfully easy to tell. These people- always men in my case- literally follow you wherever you go. Sometimes they're ten or so feet behind you; other times they're right on your heels. I developed a test which always works for me. If you cross a street three times and they cross that exact same street at the exact same light, you're being stalked. Now if I see someone's following me, I just make a run for it. You see girls running all the time in major cities on the continent. It's quite sad actually.

And before you ask why I don't inform a police officer, these people are really smart. I'm not their first victim and I won't be their last; they know what they are doing. By the time you find a police officer or wait for them to show up, the stalker is long gone. Most wear sunglasses, plain clothes with no markers, and even sometimes masks so you can't pick them out easily. It's too simple for them to disappear back into the crowds and find some poor other girl to make their target. When I'm stalked now, all I do is try to get away as fast as possible and carry about my day. Again, I know it's horrible, but you really do get used to it.

I'd never been stalked in England before; or again, that I'm aware of. English men are very tame considering all things. I would never walk around Brussels or Paris after dark, but don't feel unsafe here at all. That being said, I'm still careful; Anthony would freak out if I wasn't. Which is why I'd never told him about my stalking incidences either- he'd have me on a plane back home so fast, it'd make your head spin. So in that regard, coming back to London was a little bit of a breather for me. Plus, I doubted English stalkers could be as stealthy as the men I've had to deal with.]

"Didn't we just go to a social? Couldn't we jump back into the car before anyone sees us and skip this one?" "No. Come on, baby sis. You're only back for a little while. You can at least spend some time with your big brother." "We can spend time together at home!" "Yes, but we were invited and it would be bad form not to show up tonight. Now I expect you to put on a smile and act happy to be here," Anthony gave my arm a squeeze. I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Fiiiiiiiine, but please; let this be the last one this week. Let's watch a movie or something this weekend." "Deal," he nodded. "Yeah, I'd be good with staying home too," Benedict, who was at my right, added. "Don't you start!" The eldest scolded.

It was just me, Anthony, and Benedict going out this evening. Things had still been weird between Colin, Eloise, and I since dinner the other night. You could sense this real divide starting to form in the family, which placed me and Anthony on one side, Colin and Eloise on the other, and the other four siblings caught in the middle. Though I considered Benedict on Eloise's side since they were very close, despite him being on civil terms with me.

Both my brothers had me on their arms when we entered. There were no formal announcements tonight so we were free to go in together. I was sandwiched in between them like a piece of deli meat- what a flattering analogy. My immediate thought was to the buffet table with all the yummies it bestowed. But Anthony maintained firm hold of my arm, forcing me to mingle alongside him and our brother. There was some chit chat and then the dancing began.

I don't know why I was a little surprised to see Simon there. I mean, course a duke would come to these events. Still, it caught me a little off guard. We made eye contact before the light show, but by the time it was over, he was gone. Probably left to get some fresh air or something. Speaking of fresh air…..

About halfway through the party, after dancing with both my brothers- and only my brothers- I approached Anthony who was taking a break off to the side. He smiled upon my arrival, greeting me with a relax, casual posture. "Well hello, baby sister. What's up?" "I feel a little lightheaded," I told him honestly. His grin began to fade. "You do? Have you been drinking water? Did you eat enough?" "Yes, yes; I'm fine. I'm just really hot. I'm going to step out for a minute to cool down." "Well I'll come with you." I shook my head. "No, that's fine. I'll be right back; just need a minute. I'll go out the back door." "Alright but don't go far. Stay where it's well-lit, and take your water bottle out with you." Daddy had gotten me this pink flowery stainless-steel water bottle some years back. That thing is as tough as nails and looks just as good as the day he gave it to me. "Alright," I picked it up off the table I'd been housing it and left for the back exit.

It was fairly quiet out here; quiet and dark- a lot darker than I thought it'd be. Seeing as there was nothing really else to do out here, I merely strolled out, sipping from my water bottle from time to time. Part of my condition meant that I get cold or hot really easily; my body doesn't have a good internal thermometer. It's the worst with the cold, but heat is also bad for it. Being outside did help but I had to be mindful not to get too cold, cause it would take me forever to heat back up again. I took a large gulp of water and rounded the corner of this oversized hedge. I was feeling better now so I began to sway playfully, doing the odd twirl. It felt nice to be outdoors without constantly have to be aware of my surroundings.

However that was too optimistic on my part.

For some reason, I was hit with that inexplicable feeling of being watched again. You know, the one I was so accustomed to now. It was my first time sensing it in London, but it was there. My heart began pounding and I suddenly felt uneasy. Strange, I felt more scared this time than the last few occasions I was stalked. Maybe that's because I knew the environment and how to escape easily. This was a foreign setting to me and besides, everyone here was of high-standing class. So that must mean whoever's following me is…

My breathing intensified. I looked all around but saw no one, yet I knew someone was there. He was close, and he was watching me… My heels spun around one more time to try and find any sort of clue, and that's when my suspicions were confirmed. The English aren't that stealthy with their stalking.

None other than Nigel Berbrooke appeared with two cups of something in his hands. He flashed me that stupid, toothy grin of his. "Nigel," I let out a half-relieved sigh; only half, mind you. He's definitely not the scariest person who's ever trailed me before. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Whatever are you doing out here?" "I uh… I came out for some air. What are you doing out here?" "Oh, I came to see you. Here you are- a nice glass of cold punch, sans the alcohol," he held out one of the glasses for me. I looked at it, then shook my head lightly.

"No, thank you." His ugly smile did everything not to fade. "It's just punch." "I don't accept drinks from men I don't know well," I explained, hoping he'd get the point, which he did but not in the way I'd like. That's when his grin finally did sour. His hands holding the cups lowered a little.

"Oh…. Oh, I see." "It's nothing personal. Just a rule I have for myself." "Something you picked up on the mainland, is it?" His tone just now… This insulted frown graced my mouth. "What?" Was my only response. His head shook, looking downwards a bit. "I should have known. All girls turn into partiers when they go aboard for school." "I assure you that's not what's going on," my frown grew. This little…! He's calling my character into question, and he doesn't even know me! And he probably thinks he's a "nice guy", to put it mildly.

I tensed up a little when his foot slid towards me. "Tell me, "Miss Bridgerton". Does your brother know about your little escapades?" "What escapades? I've never been to a club out there. Do you know how unsafe that would be for someone like me?" "Then where did you learn about… To think you would even consider I would something like….." His sentence stop and he gave me a look I'll never forget.

"You're clearly not as innocent as you let on, Miss Bridgerton."

With an expression of horror and disgust, I instantly spun around to march away. Too bad Mr. Creepo over here wasn't have any of it. "What? Did I strike a nerve just now? It's not nice to hear the truth, is it?" "Get away from me." "Why? I'm not as handsome as all those Brussel boys? Can't complete with them, can I?" "I said leave me alone!" My feet walked faster. So did his. My heart skipped a scared beat when I heard him suddenly run up behind me. He was standing so close I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. "See? You can't outrun me. You can barely run at all, with your, heh condition." "Get away, Nigel….." I gasped now very, very afraid. "If we were in Europe, you'd let me in this close, wouldn't you?" "Don't touch me." "Touch you? Oh, I'm going to do more than just…." He grabbed my wrist, forcing me to spin back around facing him. He had the absolute sickest, appalling flush of desire in his eyes; it made me want to vomit. His one hand held my wrist firm while the other, which dropped the glass of punch it was holding onto the ground, began to lift up. I winced my eyes shut, trembling in fear.

No one had ever touched me against my will before. Sure, many men stalked me, but never got close enough to actually touch me. It hurt, with how much pressure he was applying. And his hand on me was a floodgate opening; it was like a combination of all the men who have ever chased me, ogled me with lust in their eyes before. I was sick- he made me physically ill, which comminated with his reaching up to grab my left breast. What happened next was purely reactional on my part. I didn't want the first man to ever touch my chest to be Nigel; it wasn't going to happen if I had anything to say about it.

Without forewarning my pink solid water bottle raised up above us. "I said don't touch me!" Yelling this, the bottle came for a full swing against his right eye. Nigel cried out in pain, instantly releasing me. He stumbled backward, bringing both hands up to his now bruised eye. I breathed deeply a couple of times, trying to get a hold of myself. Then, the usual panic flight or fight mode kicked in. I wasn't afraid of getting into trouble; I was afraid of Nigel trying to fondle me again. My feet took off in the direction opposite the party into the darkness. I ran so fast that I failed to notice the duke's stunned arrival or him calling out my name as I vanished into the darkness. All I could think about was running- running and getting away from the danger which threatened me.


	9. Male Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three very strong men have something to say to Nigel when he tries to approach Daphne again.

I ran and ran and ran, only stopping when my breathing got short. I had to stop in this small garden inlet under a tree before I burst out into a coughing fit. It felt like my chest was going to explode. My hand clenched at my shirt as I did my upmost best to breathe normally again. The bruises where Nigel had grabbed my wrist were already starting to form.

I can't tell you how hard I flinched at the sound of another male voice. "Daphne?" My heart beat a mile a minute until I recognized it to be Simon. He appeared out from the darkness, looking very concerned. His eyes scanned me over repeatedly.

"Are you ok?" "I-I'm… I'm f-fine," I hugged myself, still shaking. Of course he noticed this, coming closer to me. "You don't sound fine." "I… I uh… D-Did you see me….?" "Knock the climp flat out?" He said with a small smirk. When he saw that I wasn't smiling back, his worried frown returned.

"Where is he?" "Oh, he ran off somewhere. You needn't worry; he didn't come in your direction," Simon took a step nearer in my direction. "So he's still outside?" I glanced around frightened. "Don't worry. He won't pull stunt that again," he tried- and failed- to reassure me. "You can't know that. Men like him…. so entitled and backward. He probably doesn't think he did anything wrong. And he'll try to find me again," the very idea made me tremble more.

Simon observed me for a moment quietly, as if he was contemplating the next best thing to say to me. Eventually his head dropped a little, his usual smirk returning. "Well, it's a good thing I followed you then." "What are you doing out here?" I asked, still holding myself tightly. "Avoiding certain people." "People?" "Heh, women who find it in their pleasure to meet you. You can't imagine how many times I've been asked to dance tonight." "Oh right, you're not interested in dating or getting married," I recalled. "Who told you that?" His eyebrow raised. "My brother. He said you have interest in women; not that there's anything wrong with that." He chuckled softly. "I don't need "women" plural. I only need one, if she's the right. But he's correct; as of now I have not the faintest intension on marrying anyone." "Hmmmmmm, that makes two of us," I said quietly.

The duke eyed me again, more curious this time. "By the by, what were you doing out here alone?" "I came out to get some fresh air. I was feeling lightheaded… back at the party," I answered a tiny bit sheepishly. "I see, and that's when you ran into…..?" My head nodded, not verbally responding this time. I didn't even want to say his name again, I was that upset. Simon appeared to realize this, thank goodness. His head rose up a tad. "Does Anthony know you left the party?" "Yes, I told him before I went out. Which reminds me, speaking of my brother, I wanted to um…. apologize." "Apologize?" His eyebrow rose up slightly. I nodded ever so gently. "For the other night, I mean… That couldn't have been pleasant to watch," it really mustn't have been.

He chuckled again. "Ah, yes; the "Bridgerton family drama production". I take it none of you are happy with your late father's will, then?" "Definitely not me." "Why's that?" He questioned musingly. My mouth opened at this, but it took a second for any sound to come out. "It has… certain clauses which I'd like to amend." "Clauses?" My eyes met his straight on for the first time since we left the party. "To access my PhD trust fund… You're not the only one who doesn't wish to marry, your grace."

Simon's eyes widened in alarm. "Marriage? You have to get married to access your trust fund?" My head nodded. He snorted. "And you dislike this condition because….?" I frowned. "Well unlike you, I simply cannot declare I do not wish to marry. I do not have such a privilege…. Not with PhD on the line."

We stared at each other for a moment before the duke's head fell a bit. "So why are you so opposed to getting married, then?" "Why don't you want to get married?" I swiftly countered. "I have my reasons," he frowned. "So do I," I matched immediately. We ogled one another yet again, for a while longer this time. Finally he threw his hands up into the air. "Fine. Let's just leave it at we both have legitimate reasons not to get married." "Sounds good to me."

He shook his head, sighed, and then- to my mild surprise- stuck out his hand for me. "Come, we should return to the party." My foot slid back; my head also shaking determinately. Fear suddenly gripped me again. I didn't want to risk seeing Nigel on the way back or god forbid, at the party. At least I knew he likely wouldn't find me in the dark all the way out here. I know that's not quite rational thinking, but I wasn't really in a rational mindset currently. "N-No, I'm good. You go back; I'll stay here." Simon blinked perplexed. "You're going to stay here?" "I don't want to run into… him….. again on the way back. I'll just wait here for one of my brothers to come get me."

Simon rolled his eyes exasperated. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to leave you out here all by yourself. You'll be fine going back with me. Nothing's going to happen I promise," his hand reached out even more. My eyes drifted from his face to his extended palm. Well Simon did seem strong, and I bet he could take down Nigel if he came after me. But then, would he? Would he do that for me? Could I trust Simon on protecting me if need be?

The duke then blinked at me, as if remembering something. "Hey, by the way. How did you know Nigel was following you earlier?" Course he had to ask me this. I didn't say anything; merely staring into his eyes, which I think said it all. I didn't want to tell him about my stalking experiences in Europe, but he got the memo all the same.

Realizing this and still sensing my current reservation, Simon's face softened. His fingers visibly relaxed. "It's alright." "Huh?" I gasped, a tad startled by this. But his expression remained firmed. "I know you're scared, but it's alright now; he can't hurt you anymore. Here, take my hand. I'll bring you back to your brothers." Simon…. My lips parted a sliver. He really was… different than the other guys, and not necessarily in a bad way. Somewhat reluctantly, my hand slowly came around to rest on his. The moment our palms connected, his fingers wrapped protectively around the back of my hand. My fingers didn't move, too transfixed in the reality of holding a man's hand. Can you blame me for being so flummoxed? I'd never…. held a guy's hand before. Our eyes drew up from our clasped hands into the other's eyes. Simon grinned down at me- an expression I reciprocated.

My head turned in every which direction noise emanated on the way back. The closer we got back to the party, the more frightened I became of seeing Nigel again. He could pop out anywhere at any time. He wasn't as sneaky as the stalkers I've dealt with before, but that made him even more scary in a way. I imagined him this big, blubbery man racing towards me with no show of restraint, which was more terrifying than a man silently mimicking my every move from two blocks away. I'm sure the former is scarer because I knew how to escape the latter, while Nigel already proved himself strong enough to grab me. And what could I do if he did? I couldn't hurt him; I didn't weigh enough to physically fight him off. He could have snapped my wrist like a twig if he wanted to. Gees, no wonder I was on edge.

Simon didn't say anything for the first third of our walk. But he did keep side-eying me frequently, especially whenever I flinched at a nearby rustle or branch cracking. Soon enough however, he let out a long sigh and turned his gaze forward. I think he wanted to help get my mind off… things.

"You know, you really ought to get married." "Excuse me?!" This caused my head to whiplash his way. He met me with that cunning smirk of his. "Your brother's right; you do need someone to take care of you." "Uh, may I remind you that I'm an adult woman who's perfectly capable of taking care of myself? I have been doing a pretty good job for the past year and a half in Brussel," I proclaimed with pride. But Simon simply chuckled and shook his head in a gentle fashion. "Yes, but you're not like most women." "I beg to differ. Women are great! I take great pride in identifying with my fellow females. Heh, it's a real liberal concept; you probably wouldn't get it," I felt like being a bit of a brat again. His eyebrow raised up, also a tad playfully. "Wouldn't I?" I shrugged. "Well, you sound like your old typical traditionalist man to me. I bet you wouldn't even want your wife to work outside the home- if you wanted a wife, that is."

His eyes transfixed onto me. "What a thing to say. How could you judge me so plainly when you barely even know me?" "I know you're like my brother, and we both know what he's like. He'd never have me leave the house if he had his way," I chuckled to myself. Simon also grinned. "It's just because he loves you. He doesn't want to have to worry about you like he did your father." "Daddy injured himself because he didn't take his condition seriously. I begged him for years to go to the doctor, to follow her advice, and to take better care of himself. But…. Well, Daddy was the independent type. He was a "man's" man, who didn't like other people telling him what to do; not the doctor, not Anthony…. not me," sighing, my eyes lowered. Simon waited for a minute, sensing I had more to say. Eventually I grinned up at him, shutting my eyes momentarily. "That being said, I don't agree with my brother on everything, but I get why he is the way he is. He… and our father were really close." "Even though you were Edmund's favourite?" He quired. "I was Daddy's favourite child. Anthony was Daddy's…. second favourite son after Benedict. Why are we talking about this again?! Stop trying to make me make my father look bad!" "You brought it up," he laughed. "I most certainly did not! You did!" I announced. We looked at each other once more and burst out chuckling; him chuckling, me giggling. Then our gazes turned back in front of us.

"You truly are something else, Miss Bridgerton." "Please, call me Daphne. I'm not into the whole honorifics thing." "Fine, but then you'll have to call me Simon." "I already do," I peered back over to him. He grinned. "Well that is quite informal of you. Unlike you, who seems to have a distaste for high society, it's the world I belong to as well." "There's nothing wrong with that. I just don't want to be called "Miss Bridgerton". I may be an heiress, but…. What can I say? I like being normal, and ignored," my finger twitched as I said this. Simon eyed me. "But being a nobody couldn't possibly get you anywhere." "It gets me everywhere. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to go into the Louvre and absolutely no one knows my name. There's no one gossiping about me, no reputation to worry about, no family status to try and hide….." "You make it sound so inconvenient," his smirk returned. "I think it is. The lack of attention breeds freedom- a freedom I've never known before." "Hmmmm, and are you including the eldest in the Bridgerton clan when you mean this "lack of attention"?" Up when his eyebrow- again, playfully. I grinned. "Well, one couldn't say, could she?"

By then the manor had come back into sight. From the moment I saw it, all my previous short-lived happiness dissipated. My feet came to an abrupt halt, in effect causing the duke to also stop and twirl back to me. "Daphne?" His tone was peppered with concern. Not taking my eyes off the entrance to the party, my hand drew up to my now pounding chest. A droplet of sweat rolled down the back of my neck.

"I-I don't…. I don't want to go inside." "Daphne," Simon approached my side again, now visibly concerned. "He's inside…. I don't want to see him." "You won't. Come on; you can't stay out here." "But I…." "It's alright," he cut me off. My eyes widened again at the sensation of his hand grasping mine a second time that night. I looked from our clasped hands up to the duke calm, reassuring face. His eyes were mellow and soft. "Let's go in. I'll be with you until we reach your brothers. Nothing's going to happen. Ok?" "O-Ok?" I answered shakily. Still holding my hand, Simon led me back inside. I kept yanking my head from side to side, anxious that I might see Nigel.

We were in for less than a minute before Simon found my eldest brother. He released my hand and eased me forward in front of him to where Anthony was standing. My brother spun around and greeted me with a gleeful grin. "There you are! I was wondering when you were going to come in. And you found Simon! Marvellous! I was just…." Anthony's voice trailed to a stop when he got a good look at my face. Neither Simon nor I were smiling, with me looking particularly timid. Instantly he could tell something was up.

"What's wrong? Daphne, are you ok? What's happened?" Anthony voice was now more than a little worried. I peeked back at Simon, then back round to my brother. My lips parted a sliver, any words taking time to fall from my mouth. "Nigel….." That was all I had to say.

Anthony's face darkened in a matter of half a second. This body language altered within the blink of an eye. Before I knew what was happening, he spun right around on his heels and began stomping away. "Stay with Simon," he ordered darkly before making his leave. Sudden and intense panic filled me. "Wait, Anthony! What are you….?" Before I could finish my sentence however, Benedict appeared out of the crowd in front of Anthony. "Hello, you guys! Haven't seen you in a while; I've been dancing. Enjoying the party?" He managed to get all this out before seeing the look on Anthony's face. His eyes then drifted to me and Simon close by behind our eldest brother. Benny smile started to fall. "What's going on?" "Have you seen Nigel Berbrooke?" Anthony demanded. "N-No; not recently. Why? What's…..?"

"Daphne!" I trembled backwards a few steps; my lips visibly quivering. All the men present noticed my terrified reaction to his arrival. Nigel came marching in our direction, waving his hand in the air and flashing me that idiotic sickly grin of his. That grin immediately began to fall once Simon put his arm out directly in front of me, Benny came very near in my other side, and Anthony physically positioned himself in between him and us. It's like I was cocooned in by three strong men, and for the moment, I couldn't have been more grateful to each of them. I don't think Nigel had planned on running into me surrounded by all of them at once. It didn't help either that each sending him a death glare.

Still, to save face, Nigel did his best to retain his ghastly smile. "What's all this about?" "How dare you come over here?" Anthony took a dangerous step in his direction. "Ah, I just wanted to see Daph-, er Miss Bridgerton. I didn't get to say good night to her properly earlier this evening." "You little…..! If you ever so much as look at my sister again I'll….." Anthony's eyes narrowed onto him. Nigel tried to look genuinely confused. "Whatever are you talking about? I just wanted to say good night." "Anthony…." I let out a scared little cry, hoping he'd get the memo- which he did.

"You dare you try to speak to her?! After what you did tonight!" Though I hadn't said anything, I knew Anthony realized something happened. Something bad. Too bad no one gave Nigel the message. If there was a "Stupid Award", he'd have won it tonight. Nigel's back arched. His face stiffened and he pulled down the rims of his jacket. "Oh, now; come on, Bridgerton.

She's obviously lying."

I'd never seen my brother's face contort with rage so much before. Even Benny and Simon looked like they were ready to strangle Nigel. Luckily for me, I didn't have to do or say anything. Anthony proceeded to grab Nigel by the collar of his shirt and in a show of brute strength, lift him up to his toes on the floor.

"Are you calling my sister a liar?!" Anthony's voice raised incensed. It took Nigel a second to realize his mistake. His hands flew up in surrender. "N-No, of course not! I only meant t-that….. that women are prone to exaggeration, and Miss Bridgerton might have mistaken my intensions!" "Aren't there security cameras installed all around this area?" Benedict pondered out loud aggressively. It didn't take a genius to know what he meant by that. The colour from Nigel's cheeks faded. "Cameras?" He gulped, like he totally forgot they existed until now. Simon saw his chance to chime in.

"And if there isn't any footage, I'll testify as a witness," Simon pronounced. "You?!" Nigel's head shot over his way in horror. I doubt he remembered Simon seeing the ordeal- or at least the end of it- either. Simon's glare sharpened in onto Nigel. "Yes. After all, we have enough evidence to make a case, what with Daphne's arm…." "What?!" Anthony's head darted back at me. Without making a sound I held up my wrist so he could see the bruised handprint Nigel left on my skin. He then gave Nigel a glare I don't think he'll ever forget.

Still holding Nigel firm in place, our brother didn't remove his eyes off the cad. When he spoke again however, his tone was very low and threatening. "Benedict, take Daphne home. I'm going to stay and press charges on our sister's behalf." Nigel squirmed in a panic. "Now, that's not really necessary, is it?! It was a misunderstanding! That's all! I would never hurt your sister, Bridgerton- I swear to you!" "A misunderstanding? You call what you did to her a "misunderstanding"? You don't even deserve to be in the same room as her, Berbrooke," Simon hissed viciously. Anthony also growled, tightening his grip on Nigel's collar.

"Don't you ever talk to Daphne, me, or any of my siblings again. With the video footage, Simon's testimony, and my sister's arm, there's enough evidence for a restraining order. You can kiss your invitations to any high society functions goodbye," my brother snarled with finality. Nigel's eyes grew in horror. "What?! No! You can't do that! I'll sue!" "Your money won't get you out of this one, Berbrooke," Anthony countered. "We got better lawyers than you anyway," Benedict added.

"Benedict!" Anthony commanded. That was Benny's "get her outta here" order. My second oldest brother nodded. "Right. Come on, sis," he took my arm and began leading me to the front door. Simon came up to my brother from behind, clasping his hands behind his back. "I'll make a formal statement with the police tomorrow," he told him. "Thank you, Simon," Anthony acknowledged him before returning his full attention to the defeated and downtrodden Nigel. Meanwhile Benny and I had reached the front entryway and my brother was helping me put on my spring coat. Simon rushed over to us, also grabbing his jacket to put on as well. "You're leaving now too?" Benny asked him. "Yes, I think I've had enough of this party. Best head home." "Us too," taking my arm, my brother guided me out the front door which Simon held open for us. He walked on my other side down the staircase and over to the idling cars.

The duke stayed with us as we waited for our car to pull up. No one was in a particularly talkative mood; can you blame us? I wasn't so worried about seeing Nigel anymore- I'm sure Anthony would knock him flat on his block if he tried to come anywhere near me again. Still, I wasn't particularly happy, which Simon must have saw when he glanced over in my direction. With his hands still clasped behind his back, his shoulders were tense and stiff.

"Are you going to be alright?" He voice was much gentler now. I nodded, though not with enthusiasm; more so to placate him than anything. Naturally he wasn't convinced. "You needn't worry about Berbrooke anymore. Anthony and I will take care of him." "You?!" I blinked over to him in shock. As if to catch himself, Simon's face braced. "Anthony; Anthony will take care of him," he quickly corrected himself. He said that, but I heard him the first time…. I heard him.

My head drooped back forward. Simon ran his hand over his eyes wearily as well. "What a night…." "I'm tired," I admitted. "Yeah, me too," he concurred. "We'll be home soon, sis. Just hang on for a little longer," Benny gave me a small grin. "Ok," my eyes lowered on their own accord. Simon gazed back my way. "You sure you're going to be ok?" "Yeah, I just… need some sleep." "Ok then. If that's what you need," Simon's head tilted upwards towards the sky. His hands came out from around his back to bury inside his pants pockets. That's how I saw him when I gazed back over at him from the corner of my eye. I saw him, and this tiny smile appeared on my mouth.

"Thank you." "Huh? For what?" The duke blinked to me puzzled. Our stares met; mine softening onto his. "For tonight; thank you…. thank you, Simon." He merely observed me for some time before grinning himself. His eyes also lowered onto mine. "You're welcome… Daphne." We were still looking at one another when the car pulled up.

"Let's go," Benny released my arm and went around to the other side of the car. Simon opened the door for me. "Try to have a good rest tonight." "You too," I climbed on inside. Before he shut the door I heard him tell Benny: "make sure she gets home ok". There was a minute of silence. Then my brother replied:

"She's my sister. I don't need you to tell me that."


	10. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloise and Francesca accost Daphne, bombarding her with questions.

I was looking at the University of Amsterdam application when my bedroom door slammed wide open. There was just enough time for me to shut my laptop and spin around in my pink desk chair to see Eloise and Francesca run inside all excited.

"Daph! You gotta tell us all about what happened with Nigel last night!" "Is it true you've got a restraining order against him now? Or you will when it passes?" They pressed. My cheeks paled. "How do you know about that?!" "It's all over social media! Everyone's talking about it!" Eloise's hands flung up. "Apparently Nigel Berbrooke is banned from all society functions until further notice. Lady Whistledown….." Francesca became before I harshly cut her off.

"Lady Whistledown?!" My voice cracked. They nodded. "She's been tweeting about it all morning! Is it true that Nigel attacked you last night?" "Oh, god," my hand ran over my eyes warily. It's times like these where I wished I could just go back to Brussels and climb into bed. Life was so much less complicated there…

Eloise rolled down onto the sofa- also pink- opposite my bed, holding her phone out in front of her face. She was reading the screen rapidly. "What happened between you guys?" "Did you really grab your arm?" They railed off one after the other. I shot them both a distressed, upset glare. "I don't want to talk about it. It's… painful for me to remember," I said while my head fell a little. My hand came over the bruise on my wrist hidden underneath my wrist. The only ones to see it so far in the Bridgerton household were Anthony and Benedict, and I wanted to keep it that way.

Thankfully, both my sisters got the message. But that didn't stop them from continuing to gawk and study their phones transfixed. Eloise's eyes eventually returned me, all eager. "Then what about you and Simon?" "Simon?" I blinked confused. What about Simon? "Lady Whistledown said you were seen coming out from the garden together and you left the party together," my sister clarified. "I left with him and Benny. It wasn't just me and Simon," I swiftly corrected, though I'm not sure why I felt the need to. "But you were out in the garden with him last night?!" Eloise pushed. My eyes widened as I took my time to reply. "Well, yes. He walked me back after…. after….." After that traumatic event I never want to think of again.

My sisters squirmed in anticipation like this was some big romantic motion picture they were observing. "Did you dance with him?" "No. I only danced with our brothers." "Well you must have done something. Here, listen to this: "For those not in attendance at the Vauxhall celebration, you missed the most remarkable coup of the season. It appears Miss Daphne Bridgerton has captured the interest of the newly returned Duke of Hastings. How the young miss secured her newfound suitor is yet to be determined. Yet if anyone shall reveal the circumstances of this match, it is I"." I can't remember my eyes being larger; my mouth a thin, flat line. "He wrote that?" Could it be that this stalker- whoever he was- was jealous of the attention Simon and I gave each other last night? That could be dangerous; after all, I don't know what that man is capable of. He could know where I live…..

Eloise flew over to my side, looking at me with eyes as large as dinner plates. "Are you and Simon dating?" "What?! Course not! We just met a little while ago," I gasped scandalized. "So?! What's taking you so long? You're only here for a little while," she gave my leg a tap. "Honestly, Eloise," I rolled my eyes. "You have to admit, he's ridiculously hot," this clever, cheeky smirk formed over his mouth. "Yes, he is. He's also not interested in dating anyone either. Look, I have no time for…. any of that. I have a Masters dissertation to finish; on top of which, I want to apply and hopefully get into PhD. Do you know what they call PhD? A marriage-killer." "Marriage? Who said anything about marriage?" She pretended to be puzzled but I could see through her act. I flashed her another look before standing up and going over to the window. It was raining out; not good weather for taking a leisurely walk around the city. My sister's gaze followed me.

"So you're not interested in the duke? Not even a little, teeny tiny bit?" Her fingers pinched together. "No, I'm not." "Is that just cause you want to go into PhD?" Francesca questioned. "Well it doesn't help things. I have dreams, goal, ambitions- and none of them revolve getting a man. A man wouldn't help me achieve my goals and dreams; the exact opposite in fact. He'd lock me up and throw away the key." "You're so cynical! Not all men are like that," Eloise rebuffed. I looked at her. "Aren't they?" "Simon doesn't seem to be like that." "Well, Simon and I aren't going to get married; we're not even gonna date. We're friends- that's it."

This knowing smile came back to both my sisters' lips. "Mmhmm, just "friends", huh?" They gave each other a side glance. "What? Men and women can just be friends. We're not mindless animals," my eyes rolled a second time. "Haven't you ever seen When Harry Met Sally? Guys and girls can't stay friends indefinitely." "Yes, they can. What was that other movie you really like? The Kissing Booth? Lee and Elle were best friends and nothing more through both movies no problem." "Yeah, but that's the exception; not the norm. Besides! Simon's more like your Noah than Lee." "Simon's nothing like Noah," I countered under my breath. If you'd seen the film, you'd know what I meant.

Francesca stretched up her arms in the air. "Face it, Daph. You can't stay single forever." "Heh, watch me," I chuckled. "You better watch it. Someday you're gonna meet someone who'll change your whole perspective of men. Then maybe you'll realize they're not all controlling monsters," she said this last part curtly. "Not all men are monsters; our father and brothers are pretty great. It's just all men outside our family I'm suspicious of." "Why's that?" "Because men are controlling by nature. It's just the ones you're related you at least do it out of love… I can't be sure the man I married would be the same," my gaze peered back outside the rain droplets.

A moment of silence fell over the room following this. Both my sisters stood there, watching me quietly. Soon enough however, Francesca's lips parted. "You're really afraid to get married, aren't you?" I glanced back their way, nodding. Eloise's grin came back in full force. "Well you don't have to marry the duke….." "Eloise!" "Hey, I'm just saying! There are options," her hands raised up in front of her chest. "Simon and I are friends- that's it. He doesn't want more and I certainly don't want more. We're both happy with where we're at romance-wise." "Has he really told you that?" Her eyebrow lifted. My lips fumbled a bit bashfully. "Well, no…. But I know he is! Friendship is where it starts and ends."

"Are you seriously saying you're ok with that? You wouldn't get jealous if say, another lady caught his fancy?" She said with a bit of air, making me shake my head unamused. "No? Why would I be?" "Mmmmmm, it may happen if you don't make your move." "Make what move? I don't want to make a move! Look, I like the duke; I think I can like him for the person he is. I want to get to know him better." "You do?!" Francesca gasped excitedly. My eyes rolled; they do that a lot around these two. "I meant as friends! Why would I want to ruin a perfectly good friendship with something like love? Love… I've never even been in love before. I have no idea what it would be like." "Sure you do. You've seen love in movies and books before. Just think of Simon as your personal Mr. Darcy," Eloise cooed. I sighed. "When are you going to get off this? Simon's too sweet and pure for husband material; he's not at all the kind of man Daddy had in mind for me." "How can you be so sure?" I looked straight at my sister, thinking to myself for a moment. Thinking…. and remembering.

"I'm sure."


	11. Bridgerton Family Picnic With A Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon joins the Bridgertons on a family outing.

[I came into Daddy's room with fresh water and towel. He'd been bedridden since his return from the hospital; they had to keep him there for a long time after his fall. The doctors weren't optimistic that he'd make a full recovery- which he didn't. Course he had a nurse come see him twice a day, but since school was out and it was summer, I was his primary caretaker in between their visits.

Daddy stayed in his massive king-size bed in the master bedroom. It was one of those old-timey English rooms you see in movies. My father was propped up against the back of his headboard with a mountain of pillows. I handed him a glass of water and sat down on my little stool at his bedside. "Drink your water- all of it," was my instruction. Daddy did as he was told, emptied his cup, then set it down and grinned over at me. "Thanks, dumping. You take such good care of me." I also smiled, patting his lower arm with my hand. His grin slowly faded as his eyes moved downward. His hand reached over to cover mine.

"Listen, honey. I think it's time we talked about your future." "Oh! Well, as you know, I want to study history. What I really want is to go into Masters and then move on to…." "I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about marriage," Daddy's head shook. I blinked, a bit startled by the topic change. "Marriage? W-Well sure, someday when I fall in love…."

"Who said marriage has anything to do with love?"

All I could do was stare at my father who was completely serious. He met my gaze straight on. "Look, baby girl; I hate to tell you this, but forget about love. People like you and me don't have the luxury of "falling in love". You have to understand: all marriage is a transaction, and you've got to maximize your profit." "Daddy…." My lips fell. "You're going to trade money for a title. Dollar princesses used to do it all the time. There's no shame in it." "B-But, Daddy; I don't want a title, and I definitely don't want to marry for one," my hand lifted to my chest. Daddy smiled warmly. "Sweetheart, our family has climbed the social ranks for centuries. You think my father or grandfather would ever forgive me if I didn't carry on the tradition?" "But…. But why… Why does it have to be me? Why can't Eloise….?" His grin deepened. "Because frankly my dear, you are miles above the rest in my books. If any of my kids get to land a better title, I want it to be you. The only way to do that is through marriage. Besides, marriage is good for women! You won't have to worry about anything; your husband will take care of everything for you." "But I can take care of myself. Can't I just be free to make my own decisions in life?"

Daddy looked at me, his hand reaching up to brush some stray hairs off my cheek. His eyes lowered onto mine. "There are just some things a man can do better, honey. Sure, it may be a little suffocating, but that's what marriage is. That's what women have dealt with forever. You at least get prestige out of the deal." My bottom lip quivered uncontrollably. "B-But I don't want prestige. I want to be like other girls…." "Other girls?" His eyebrow raised. "I want to be free to choose for myself. We're not living in the Victorian Era anymore. I want to enjoy what the current world has to offer me."

My half-lit hopes began to fade when Daddy merely shook his head. His hand drifted back down to take mine in his. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I simply love you too much- I can't let you become like me with your condition. It'll be your husband's job to ensure you don't; Anthony won't let you marry him if he does anything less." "I thought I was marrying for a title?" "You are, but I can have it both ways. Wives like you have to forgo some freedom… in order to retain security. Take it from me, cupcake; this is what's best for you. I should know….

I always did whatever I want and look where it got me."]

"Good! Now throw it back over here," I was tossing a ball around with the two youngest Bridgerton siblings. I always acted like a surrogate mother figure to them when I was back in London. Hyacinth threw the small red baseball over to Gregory, whom I was kneeling beside in the grass. Anthony had sensed I'd been feeling a little down since the last party we attended- for obvious reasons- and so proclaimed that we should go on a family picnic today in the park. I was surprised but not shocked when he announced that he'd invited the duke to join us. Not that I was upset by this! Not at all. It was nice to see Simon again since the last time we saw each other was…. you know.

We ate as one large group, talking and teasing one another; the mood was much lighter this afternoon than that first family dinner Simon attended. I think my siblings could tell I needed a mental break from everything for a while, which they were gracious enough to give me. No more inheritance talk…. For now, anyway.

After lunch, Colin and Benedict went out on a boat on the pond together. I was playing ball with the younger kids. Anthony, Simon, and our two remaining sisters sat on the blanket underneath a massive oak tree, casually watching the three of us play. Well, it was more like Hyacinth and Gregory tossing a ball back and forth with me couching on the side. Still, it was fun to be there with them once more.

Hyacinth tossed the red ball, to which Gregory caught it in his small hands with me right there beside him. Everyone at the picnic sight clapped as my youngest brother flashed me a glorious smile. "I caught it!" "Yes, you did," I gave him a great big hug; he'd been not so good with the catching bit until now. "Well done, Gregory," Anthony praised. "You're a natural," Simon tacked on. We grinned at them before an excited Gregory ran off somewhere with his sister, apparently done with the game now that he'd succeeded in catching the ball. I straightened up and walked back to the four-person party. Anthony handed me up my pink steel water bottle which I took a few gulps from. Then I sat down next to Eloise.

Simon looked at me. "You sure have a way with them." "The youngest Bridgertons have always been close with Daphne," Anthony concurred. "Yes. It appears the mothering gene skipped a sister going down the line," Eloise cracked a smile, earning a swift nudge to the ribcage from me. "I just like to be around them. They make me happy," I shrugged. "You're a good sister, Daph," Francesca grinned at me. Eloise rolled her eyes. "Ugh, don't go getting all sappy on me." "It's not sappy! It's sisterly love," I rebuffed her. "Whatever," she scoffed. Anthony shook his head exasperated. "Aren't you glad you don't have siblings?" He asked the amused Simon. Meanwhile I gave our eldest brother a playful grin.

"Oh, we're not so bad, are we, big bro? At least life isn't boring with the seven of us around." "No, I can imagine it certainly is not," Simon chuckled, causing me to glance over at him. "Oh right, you're an only child," I noted out loud. "Mmmmmm, must be nice," Eloise muttered under her breath; more in jest than ill-will to us. "On the contrary, I spent many an hour wishing I had a brother or sister while growing up. It was rather dull, all on my own," he elucidated. "Well that is one virtue about a big family; never a dull moment," Anthony nodded. "Especially when your older sister is caught sneaking out trying to go to a museum opening," Eloise laughed. All eyes were now on me and I blushed embarrassed.

"I don't know why I wasn't allowed to go. It was during the day on a weekend and a real star attraction. I wanted to be the first one in line." "Daph, it was a restored history museum. You'd been the only one in line," Francesca remarked cheekily, making my cheeks sizzle even redder. Wearing a smile, the duke planted his chin on his closed hand and leaned forward a little. "So what happened?" "Oh, she was caught just before she could purchase a ticket. Daddy gave her a stern talking-to about how "it is not ok to sneak out to see old paintings and even older manuscripts". Then he sent Daph to her room. It was quite funny," Eloise giggled. I shot her an irate glare.

"It was not funny! I didn't get to go for two whole weeks; I almost missed the exhibit of Rembrandt's "Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp"!" "Oh how tragic, how dreadful, how catastrophic," the back of Eloise's hand raised up to her forehead in a mocking manner. I gave a light shove while Francesca scratched the side of her head. "Who's Nicolaes Tulp?"

We ignored her question, remembering that we weren't the only ones present. Anthony let out a sigh and Simon continue to grin- a warm, comfy grin, like he was truly happy at the moment. I'll admit… it was honestly nice to see…. from someone like him. Our eldest brother simply shook his head from side to side. "Well, at least it's nice to know some things don't change. Daphne's loved history ever since either of us can remember." "Is that so?" Simon's eyebrow raised. "Yeah, we don't know what went wrong either," Eloise cracked; this time I swatted her with my hat upside the head. Francesca laughed and the duke smiled yet again. He'd been doing that a lot this afternoon, and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

Anthony gazed over to Simon, looking regretful. "I'm sorry about them, Simon." "Not at all! Your family is very charming. Heh, and I have to admit, I find the idea of your sister sneaking out to see a painting rather amusing," he said this last sentence while looking my way. Our eyes met again and my lips parted a sliver. Francesca shook her head. "How'd you even know about that Tulp guy's painting back then? You were ten," she asked me. "You were ten?!" This caught Simon by surprise. Shyly, I blushed and nodded my head very slowly. This time Anthony chuckled. "See, what did I tell you? Never a dull moment with these lot." It was then that he took notice of Simon's expression. Anthony saw his face and blinked in astonishment. "Are you smiling? You rarely smile!" He gasped. "Sure I do," Simon glanced back at him. "You weren't known for smiling all throughout college," my brother countered. "Well, that was different. Right now, I'm in the company of your lovely family." Anthony grinned at this, a bit pleased. "Indeed."

It was around now that our other two older brothers caught our attention by wailing their arms high in the air and calling out in a bit of a panic. They were still in their boat mid-pond and standing precariously on its wood. I was half-expecting that thing to flip over right then and there. We all looked, and the joy washed from Anthony's face. Benedict was the one to call out loud enough for us to hear him so far away. "Uh, Anthony? We seem to have punctured a small hole in the boat. Could you give us a hand getting back to shore?" Colin only made matters worse when he slipped in what I assumed to be a sizable puddle on the floor of the boat. Our sisters couldn't stop giggling and Anthony looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel. "You idiots!" His annoyed voice bellowed as he got up and began marching towards the pond. We all watched him take off without saying anything; then Eloise, still grinning, laid on her side stretching across the blanket. She stuck a grape into her mouth and glanced up at the duke.

"So, Simon? Is it true you don't want to get married?" "Eloise!" I audibly gasped in horror, gawking wide-eyed at my sister. Francesca- unfortunately- didn't see what the big deal was. "What? That's what you said, Daph." "Francesca!" Simon looked at me before turning to them. "That is correct, Miss Bridgerton. I do not intend to marry." "Oh, so you're like Daph then? What is it with you older people being so against the idea of marriage?"

Simon cleared his throat. "I have nothing against the idea. It is just something I do not wish to enter myself." "And there's nothing wrong with that, Eloise. The duke doesn't owe anyone any explanation for his choices," seeing where this was going, I jumped in fast. She flashed me a clever grin. But to our surprise, it was Francesca who spoke next. "You don't even want a girlfriend?" "No, I do not," he smiled kindly at her. Thank god he wasn’t offended by all these stupid, juvenile questions. But I knew my sisters weren't done yet. Eloise spun her head back in his direction.

"Well, you should at least come over a few more times before our sister leaves," she didn't even try to hide that knowing tone of hers. Simon's eyes peaked back my way. "I shall come for a couple more visits." "Oh no, Simon; you really don't have to do that," my hand rose up, feeling bad that he was being pressured into this. That's how I saw it at any rate. Too bad Eloise and Francesca were having none of it. "Yes, he does. How many more visits we talkin' about here?" She couldn't have looked at him faster.

Simon stumbled over himself for a second, clearly taking some time to think. "It's hard to say… Let's say four more times." "Six," my sister pushed her luck. "Eloise!" I admonished, only to be utterly ignored. "I shall grant you four." "Mmmmmm, no; I think six is better." To my shock, by the duke's expression I'd say he was actually enjoying this exchange. He looked at me again. "Five." "Six. And did I mention Daphne loves flowers? Roses are her favourite." "Eloise, stop! You're making the duke uncomfortable," I tapped her arm. "What?! I can't share a bit of trivia about my eldest sister? That's red roses," she was quick enough to tag on. I rolled my eyes. Oh my god, could they be more obvious? To make matters worse, I think Simon caught on to what they were doing. His eyes trailed back to me with a playful tint in their corners.

"Why Daphne. It sounds to me like they wish to see us courting," he said with that superior voice he could achieve. Sensing what he was playing at, I also grinned and decided to go along with it. Well why not? So long as he isn't uncomfortable or embarrassed….. "I think you may be right, your grace. They've somehow got it into their heads that we would be a good match- even though we don't each other that well, and have totally opposite personalities, and I technically live in another country." "Details, details. You'll find a way to make it work," Eloise waved her hand dismissively. The duke chuckled and I shook my head. "I already told you two; we're not the slightest bit interested in dating, no matter what that horrid Lady Whistledown writes." "Ah, yes. Mustn't forget about the local gossip column, always posting away. Do not worry, Daphne. I have no interest in causing a scandal," he smiled that brilliant smile of his. He smiled right at me, and I unthinkingly mirrored his expression.

"I should imagine with you it comes naturally."


	12. His Rose Without A Thorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bridgerton sisters get an Easter surprise.

-It's the strangest thing. We barely know one another, and yet whenever I look at her, my initial impulse is to smile.

No one's ever had that effect on me before.-

"Ooooooh, I think I see one over there," holding my youngest sister's hand, I gently led her to this part of the garden. All the Bridgerton siblings were spending Easter morning egg hunting out in the backyard. Hyacinth found the chocolate-shaped egg wrapped in foil, eagerly putting in her basket. Anthony was on the other side of the yard, helping Gregory with his little basket. Meanwhile all our siblings in between were filling their own at rapid speeds.

Gregory spotted a blue egg and turned to me with excitement. "Look, Daph! I found another blue one!" Blue was his favourite colour. "Fantastic job, Gregory," I called back to him. Colin waltzed up to Benedict, proudly displaying his basket for our brother to see. "Look how many I've found. Looks like I win this round too, huh Benny boy?" "There are still eggs to find; the morning isn't over yet, little brother," he declared back. Anthony rolled his eyes. "Come on, you guys. This is supposed to be for the kids. It's not a competition… Although if it was, I'd be winning," he said under his breath. I grinned at him and discreetly pointed behind him. "Anthony," my voice was low, so not to alert the others. He peered over his shoulder curiously, then took Gregory's small hand in his. "Let's go check back here. I bet there's some we missed." There were indeed eggs that no one had found yet over there. Smiling, I returned to Hyacinth to aid in her search before our overly competitive brothers and sisters sniffed them all out.

We were right in the middle of doing so when Anthony checked his watch. "It's eleven o'clock, baby sis," he then hollered my way. "Ok. I'll be back out in a minute; go over there with them," I nodded and lightly pushed my sister to go join our youngest and oldest brother. "Yes, let's go have another look under the oak tree again," Anthony took Hyacinth's hand with his free one. "Don't bother! We've already combed over every square inch of that area," Colin waved his hands at them. Rolling my eyes, I took off to go inside. I entered through the back door to the kitchen. Setting my barren basket down, I proceeded to fill a cup with water; I drank it while watching my siblings through the window. Gregory was complaining how Benedict and Colin had more eggs than the rest of us combined, and Anthony was scolding them and demanding they share their chocolate with everyone else. I had just finished my water and was about to rejoin them outback until someone rang the doorbell.

Curious, I thought to myself while turning around. This was Easter morning; who could be calling now? The doorbell rang a second time and I knew I couldn't ignore it forever. With a sigh, I went to answer it, expecting it to be a neighbour or something. To my shock, I was astonished to open the door only to find a man buried in a sea of flowers on the other side. I blinked bewildered and unsure what to say to such a sight. "Uhhhhhhhh?"

"Bridgerton residence?" The delivery man inquired. After a second of pure stun, my head nodded on its own accord. He seemed satisfied enough with this. "Flora delivery for Miss Eloise Bridgerton, Miss Francesca Bridgerton, Miss Hyacinth Bridgerton, and one Miss Daphne Bridgerton." My lips sputtered. How else was I supposed to react? One of us receiving a flower bouquet, sure; but all four of us? No one'd ever sent us flowers before, let alone me. Before I stepped out of his way, I scanned the bundles over repeatedly. "W-Who sent them?" "Don't know. It's on the card, Miss. May I?" "Uh, y-yeah! Yeah, sure," finally going to the side, the fellow brought all four bouquets in through the hall and into the kitchen. He set them on the table all beside each other. Each bouquet consisted of a different array and type of flower, with the last one being just a single type of flora. The last one he carried in was a set of two dozen roses- all long-stem and red. This one he put straight into my arms.

We wished each other a happy Easter and then he took off. After closing and locking the front door, I just stood there- completely in a daze. So many flowers…. I can't imagine who'd send them all like this. I wonder who…. That's when I remembered there was a card. Tucked inside the wrapping of my roses was small card and envelop. Curious overtook me as I ran over to it, pulling out the card and read it aloud to myself. "To remind you of my lack of interest. Happy Easter, Daphne. Yours truly… Simon," my hand slowly lowered the card from out in front of me. Simon? Wait a minute…. Simon sent all these?! Did he really….?! But why?! My head shot back over at the table, now overflowing with fresh-cut blossoms. My lips parted and I had to remind myself to breathe. He did this for us…. for Easter. And he sent me roses- red roses. My all-time favourite flower… ["Did I mention Daphne loves flowers? Roses are her favourite."] Eloise, that little…..!

Still, I would be lying if I said I wasn't impressed. I gazed over each of my sisters' bouquet, then back down to the red roses currently filling up both my arms. This smile etched itself across my lips. Simon, he really didn't have to do this…. My nose leaned in to smell one of the blossoms. Oh god, you can't imagine how good a freshly bloomed rose smells. It's perfection, if any scent can be perfect. This certainly seemed like it to me. I couldn't stop smiling while I went over to turn on the cold-water tap and fetch a vase.

Anthony had just come through the back kitchen door when I was setting my roses in some water. "Well, that is the last time we let those morons join us in our annual Easter egg hunt! They practically found every…." His words pattered off once he saw the kitchen table. His eyes grew in shock and confusion. "What's all this?" "Your dear friend from Oxford, Simon, sent all the girls over a bouquet for Easter," I flashed him a grin. My brother's eyes widened. "He did?" "Mmhmm," my head nodded as I carried the vase back over to the counter. I wanted to be really careful not to drop it- not the first bouquet of roses I'd ever received. The last time I told a man I wanted flowers, Daddy bought me a rose bush. Not exactly what I had in mind.

Anthony approached the table, plucking up a bloom from Francesca's bunch. He inspected it ponderingly. "Wow, that was so nice of him! You four will have to remember to thank him the next time we see the duke," he told me. "I will, big bro," I replied, not taking my eyes off my roses. They were just so beautiful. Anthony watched me momentarily, smiling to himself eventually.

"He really wants our family to like him. He's trying, Daphne." "I know he is. But he doesn't have to. I already like him; I think he'll be very easy to be friends with," I shuffled a few of my flowers. Anthony nodded. "It's always been that way with me. He's always been such a good friend, and I'm just so thankful you two are getting along. I feel like I can trust him around you." "I think you can, big bro. I think you can….." My grin returned, my thumb running alongside a deep red petal. I could also feel Anthony smile from where I was standing. "Your flowers really are beautiful, baby sis." "They are." "Hopefully your future husband can match such a bouquet." "Even if he can't, I have these now. I'll take them in, and remember what it's like…. to receive such lovely roses." "I'm sure this won't be the only delivery of flowers you ever get, Daphne." "Mmmmmm, but it's ok if it is.

I have my small taste of what it's like now."


	13. An Endless Endeavour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne goes to get some research material and attend a guest a lecture. What should have been a good day has a bitter ending.

The university's library was quiet this afternoon; it was nice. I'd just visited London King's College library to pick some books on reserve and then made my over to University College London to fetch some more. Not every university library had all of what I needed, so I had to get creative and do some searching. Luckily for me, as a Masters student, I was able to take out every book I need as a visiting student. I'd have to return them before I went back to Belgium.

"Let's see, Homeric Hymns….. Homeric Hymns….." I was in the Ancient Greek literature section to be specific. I had two overarching passions in my life, if you exclude my love of good street food: history and historical literature. My Masters was a combination of the two, studying literature from medieval Western continental Europe. To be precise, I'm currently researching Troubadour love poetry. Yes, I know; the irony is not lost on me. Me- someone who's never been in love before, reading an endless stream of poetry on and about love. Trust me, their concept of "love" is very different than what we consider it today…. and if I'm being honest, I think I like their version better.

But that wasn't my focus today. Since the subject of research for the PhD application was women in medieval lyrical literature, I thought I might start way waaaaaay back with the poems of Ancient Greece. I was already quite familiar with Ancient Greek literature, having read- and owning copies of- the Iliad, the Odyssey, all the great poets, and of course Plato's dialogues and some Aristotle for good measure. In short, I already knew where to start looking, and my first hymn would be Homer's Hymn to Demeter. Great hymn; I'd recommend you'd read sometime.

Well, ok; maybe "great" isn't the right word to use here. You see, our modern conception of love is new- like very new. I don't think people realize just how new the love we see portrayed in movies and on tv is. There were thousands of years where people did not see marriage as having anything to with love in any way; cough, cough, the Troubadours. Not to mention it's still a view held by some individuals- like my father- but we won't get into that. The point is all these poems I read on love never depicts love in a way our modern sensibilities would recognize. Case in point, the marriage of Hades and Persephone.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the myth, Hades brokers a deal with Persephone's father, Zeus, to marry her. Zeus agrees and gives Hades the green light to take his daughter down to the underworld. Course no one mentioned any of this to Persephone- or her mother- so you can imagine her surprise and fear when Hades suddenly tears open the ground one day and drags Persephone down. In most retellings, this is known as "the abduction or kidnapping" of Persephone, though in reality it was just really an arranged marriage. What's kind of horrifying about this particular couple is that they were considerably the best, most functional when compared to like every other Greek god or goddess. Hades's taking Persephone against her will- maybe, sources vary here- doesn't make him the bad guy; every Ancient Greek man would understand why he did it and not see a problem with it. So Hades good, Zeus…. Well, you be the judge. And did I mention Hades was the full brother of both Persephone's parents? Talk about a family tree looking more like a tumble weed.

I wanted to start with this hymn because it's so well-known and a good jumping off point for exploring women's roles in literature, both at the time and to come during the Roman Empire Era and Early Middle Ages.

But I've been blathering on about this for way to long. What's important is I got my books and found a place to start on my research proposal. I somehow managed to shove all these books into my backpack and made my way back outside the library. Once in the nice spring sun again, I checked the time on my phone. Almost three o'clock- perfect! There was just enough time for me to sprint over to the University of London; they were having a guest lecture on Victorian agriculture at four and I really wanted to go. I told Anthony to pick me up after that.

The lecture hall was fuller than you'd think. Lots of people from the history and biology department; yes, some students did a combination of the two, studying the history of biology. In was in this beautiful old building, much like something you'd see out of Harry Potter. I sat somewhere near the middle so to get a good view of the white projector screen. Various audience members clambered in and quietly took their seats. There was some faint chit chat until the head of the history department came out to introduce this afternoon's guest speaker. Everyone was rather excited.

The lecture itself was brilliant. I learned a lot! Granted, it's nothing I've studied myself, but I found the topic interesting. Plus I just love attending guest lectures on well, anything and everything- history, philosophy, or English-related, that is. It was all going so well, until suddenly it wasn't. After the lecture proper, there was time for a round of questions. I didn't have any but stayed to listen to others.

Halfway through the questions though, literally out of nowhere these little sparkles began to appear here and there in my vision. Now for a normal person, this would be a problem; just the eyes adjusting or something. For me, however, it was a warning sign. I really got anxious when the stars disappeared, and my vision got a little hazy. The light-headedness was soon to follow- it wasn't that bad but I did feel a little dizzy. Not wanting to leave early, I decided to power through it and stay til the end of the lecture. But it wasn't a fun or particularly enjoyable experience. The whole time I tried to figure out what went wrong, which wouldn't have been so laborious if I wasn't light-headed. I hadn't eaten anything in over five hours, and the only thing I'd had today was a waffle with some Nutella and strawberries. That was around the time I finished my water bottle too….. And I hadn't had any extra salt today. My eyes shut as I brought my hand up to my pounding head. Yeah, I've screwed up.

As soon as the lecture hall was adjourned, I rushed as fast as I could- which truthfully wasn't that fast in my current condition- over to the refreshment table in the other wing. I drank three full cups of water immediately, then filled up one of those Styrofoam cups with boiling water from a cannister. Somewhat embarrassed, I snuck off to the bathroom with the cup in hand, trying to be discreet as possible. I never liked drinking this stuff in front of crowds.

The bathroom was beautifully decorated inside, complete with marble sinks, a couch, and sitting chairs. Despite being so lovely in here, it only had three stalls. I confirmed I was alone before setting the cup down and rummaging through my bag. "Come on, come on," there had to be at least half of one in here. My eyes lit up as I pulled out a beef bouillon cube, already cut in half and missing the other part. I took out some of those salt packets you get at MacDonalds as well.

What I did next may sound gross but I can't stand drinking pure salt water. I've tried and just can't do it. It took some time to find a form of salt I would drink, and that's when we started buying bouillon cubes. I put the whole cube into the cup, along with a packet of salt- though not the whole packet for it would tip my gage reflexes over the edge. After the bouillon cube and salt was dissolved, I picked up the cup. With a loud groan I shut my eyes and forced myself to drink it all. Ugh, god; I hated it. I hated it less that salt water alone, but I still didn't like it. This was the only way I could make myself drink salt, and even then it was hard. Not like I had much of a choice. The doctor told me two years ago either I increase my salt intake, or I'll have to start medication. So far, I've opted for the former. I'm already taking pills to stop my period, again all thanks to my stupid, stupid condition. I'd rather not take more medicine if I can help it.

My eyes reopened and I tossed away the cup. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. God, I looked pale; like sickly pale. Hopefully the salt and water takes care of that; I'll grab a bottle of water before I leave the university just in case. As I continued to stare at my reflection, this profound disappointment at myself set in. "Jesus, Daphne! You're twenty-four years old, this shouldn't be happening! Keep it together!" I yelled into the mirror frustrated. I usually did ok on a day-to-day basis at home; it's just when I get busy or go somewhere….. With a long, upset sigh, my gaze lowered to my hands, now clutching the edge of the countertop. One of my fingers twitched.

It's never going to get better. I'm just like Daddy; it's only to get worse with age. It never used to be this bad, and now I have to constantly monitor my symptoms. It's exhausting. And this is what happens if I ignore it or neglect it, even for an afternoon. It's all day, everyday…. until the day I die. Clearly, I still struggle to keep on top of it all the time, even at this age. My eyes narrowed a little in remembrance. ["I can't let you become like me with your condition. It'll be your husband's job to ensure you don't."] My hands balled into fists.

"I don't need a husband to keep an eye on me. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. I just… was a little forgetful today. It won't happen again, and if it does, that's life. I can't be perfect all the time," and I doubt whoever I marry could be either. I glanced back up to my reflection, hoping some colour would return to my cheeks before the end of my little daytrip today. I left the bathroom, nabbing another drink of water and going on a walk so to get my blood pumping. I felt much better by the time Anthony came to pick me up.

Course this is something I couldn't tell him about.


	14. An Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne and Simon run into each other in the most unlikely of places.

Well the libraries had most of what I needed, I chose to go check out this massive bookstore downtown. Seriously, this place had like five stories. The history and philosophy sections were on the fourth floor, along with the life and sports sections. Who was the one who made that decision?

Anthony had some more estate stuff to do today, and all my siblings were doing their own things, so I thought I might take the opportunity just to enjoy myself before diving into my research back home. And by "enjoy myself" I mean get some more books. What can I say? Once a student, always a student. Plus I once told an English grad school back in undergrad that I thought I had too many books. He laughed and said "all the best book collectors always have more books than they'll ever read". I don't think I have enough books to be qualified as a "collector" yet, but I have the sneaking suspicion he's right.

Walking around, I perused the English and history sections first, winding up in philosophy last. I had a copy of Plato's dialogues and Peter Pan with me. The dialogues were for research; the J. M. Barrie novel was for fun. Now in the philosophy part of the store, I was looking for more entertaining material to read. And yes, I know Plato's dialogues technically are philosophy, but I wanted something more…. Eastern let's say. I've always found Eastern mythology and religion to be fascinating. It's my goal to read the Mahabharata and the Journey To The West one day. That's one day- definitely not today. If you know how long these texts are, you'll understand my reasoning, especially with a Masters dissertation to finish. And yes! I know I've inconsistently read the mammoth works of War And Peace, Anna Karenina, and The Brothers Karamazov- let's move along!

What I was particularly interested in today was something to do with Taoism. I adore the Taoist concept of Yin and Yang cause frankly, it makes perfect sense to me. That's the complex spiritual symbolism and meaning; not the pop culture definition you might see on Twitter. All of this is to say that I was at the Asian part of the shelf. I reached down for a copy of the Art of War, only to slice the tip of my finger on its razor-sharp cardboard cover edge. Immediately I yanked my finger back and began sucking on the now-bleeding wound so not to stain any of the books. I don't believe in signs but I took that as an omen to find something else. Again, I know that's a contradictory sentence. I just cut my finger- give me some slack.

Instead, my attention turned upward to the religious texts- or at least philosophical, depending who you ask. Beside a copy of the Tao Te Ching- great book, I read it once every year- was another book I make sure to read annually. Though my copy was currently in Brussels. Taking my finger out of my mouth, I stretched up my other, non-injured hand to try and reach the Tao of Pooh. Unfortunately I'm not the tallest person in the world and the shelf it was on was too high. Why would they put books on unseemly high shelves? What if short people, like me, want to read them? This store really could use a layout makeover.

But, as luck would have it, I didn't need to be tall enough. In what I can only describe as a real life meet-cute, another hand rose up, plucking the exact book I was reaching for off the shelf. I blinked alarmed and surprised beside me, only to see…. Simon? Simon?! My jaw dropped.

The duke, who was much more composed than I, simply smiled, glanced down at the text in his hands, then back up at me. "Was this the one you want?" He asked with such casualness. I couldn't stop staring completely dumbfounded at him. "S-Simon! W-What are you… doing here?!" "I've come to pick up a few things," he showed me the book he'd had under his arm. My eyes grew wider, if that were possible. "Boxing?" "Mmhmm, I'm a boxer," he nodded. "Oh… Oh! You're doing research!" My fingers snapped in realization. He laughed. "Well, I'd hesitate to call it research. Just perusing, seeing if I might come across something useful," he said before holding the Tao of Pooh out for me to take. I held up my forefinger in that "wait a minute" pose.

"Wait, I have to take care of this first." Simon watched curiously as I took off and set my backpack down. I shuffled through its contents in the front pocket until I found a fresh bandage. He quickly figured out what was going on once I revealed my still bleeding finger. "Ah, you cut yourself, clumsy," he noted, kneeling down beside me on the floor. "Yeah, on one of the covers," I explained while struggling to unwrap the bandaid with one hand. Shaking his head a tiny bit, I blinked startled when he took the unopened bandage from me. "Here, let me," he opened it, holding the sticky part out for me. Simon! My heart skipped a beat. I placed my injured finger onto it, where he proceeded to wrap the whole thing around my finger's base. All the while he was careful not to let our hands touch- an act I much appreciated. I was already blushing so hard, I don't know what I'd do if we held hands again. We shouldn't do that anymore; it makes my heart beat too loud.

He'll hear it.

Simon dropped his arms at his sides and grinned at me. I, of course, smiled back at him, unaware just how red my cheek were sizzling. "T-Thank you." "No trouble," we both straightened back up in unison. The duke picked up my book and inspected it this time. His grin only grew while reading the title. "The Tao of Pooh? Doesn't sound like Medieval history." "Not everything I read is about history. I have many interests, your grace. Eastern philosophy- or any philosophy- happens to be one of them." "Obviously," he held it out for me again; I took it with my newly bandaged hand. Simon's eyes then scanned over the whole shelf in a sort of amused, detached way. I watched him, curious as to what he would say next.

"I simply don't understand how all of this doesn't put you to sleep. History's boring enough, but philosophy…." "Oh, but it's not! And hey! History's most certainly not boring," I frowned- playfully, of course. He responded to this frown with his signature side-mouth smirk. "I've never read a history book which hasn't put me to sleep." "Textbooks don't count," was my witty reply. He shook his head. "Well, nothing compares to philosophy. Endless prose of complicated, dull, impractical theories. It's a wonder anyone reads that material at all." Sensing a chance to be bratty again, I decided to run with it and play along. I even nodded my head for emphasis. "Mmmmmm, you're probably right. Lots of this stuff is complicated; I bet most people wouldn't understand what it's talking about. I mean, I understand, which explains why I think it's so fascinating, but I can't blame you if you don't find it interesting."

Oh, you should have seen the look Simon gave me just then. It took everything I had not to smile like a total idiot. His shouldered shifted more in my direction in a posturing manner. "Are you implying I'm too unintelligent to understand the dialogue of these books?" "Oh, no! No, I would never… say that. But there's no shame in being confused. I had to re-read Descartes Meditations three times to grasp what he was talking about." Simon's eyes narrowed onto me. My face muscles hurt so much, I was suppressing them that hard. "Listen here, Miss Bridgerton. I'll have you know that I am fully capable of understanding the content behind each one of these books." "I know." "Don't forget, I graduated from Oxford- the top-ranking university in the world." "I know you did," oh god, this was fun. "So if anyone can understand the dribble these texts are spewing, it is I." "Of course you can," too much fun. "It is not a matter of my lack of understanding, as you seemed to be so confused about. It is rather, I find these theories simply boring and banal," he declared with finality. I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from laughing, this was way too much fun. "Well then, a hundred pages on a banal theory. Makes sense," I did have to cover my mouth with my hand at that one; it was too cheeky, even for me. Simon appeared both impressed and frustrated at this. Still, to save face he forced himself to relax his posture and smirk again.

"Ok, Daphne. If you're so smart, prove me wrong. Find a theory that isn't banal and obvious, though I think it unfair to assign you such a daunting task," he added under his breath sassily. I shook my head, still grinning ear to ear. "For someone who went to Oxford, I'm very disappointed in your lack of philosophical awareness. What'd they teach you there? Latin and nothing else? I should have thought university to be an expanding experience, but since that doesn't seem to be the case, I'll take you up on your challenge." Simon's eyebrow raised and I held up my copy of the Tao of Pooh. He patiently waited for me to continue; anxious to see where I was going with this, I think. I beamed like the sun, awaiting to shine onto him. "Let me read to you from this and see if I can change your mind." "That? Really?" He didn't sound impressed at all. But I merely nodded my head up and down. "Give it a chance. It definitely changed my way of thinking, and if it doesn't do anything for you, I'll admit defeat and accept that it's all banal."

Taking me on, we found two cushion chairs in the corner surrounded by a panel of windows. It was raining outside but the little patter of rain droplets against the glass sounded nice. We sat down, getting all nice and comfy. I pulled out my pink water bottle cannister, took a few gulps, then opened the book to page one. I cleared my throat as Simon continued to eye me sceptical. "Chapter One: The How of Pooh. "You see, Pooh" I said, "a lot of people don't seem to know what Taoism is….." "Yes?" said Pooh, blinking his eyes. "So that's what this chapter is for- to explain things a bit."

What should have been a brief reading turned into much, much more. In the beginning my voice was haughty and arrogant. But by the time I had reached chapter four, it had morphed back into its soft, gentle tone. I learned two things during that hour we spent together in those two chairs in that bookstore. One, that Simon had likely never read an actual philosophy book in his life; and two, it's incredible how one can become so emersed into something…. Something which you originally thought would take no time at all.

For Simon's part, he underwent a sort of transformation as I read out loud to him. He went from sitting there, acting bemused and uninterested, to passively paying attention, to actively paying attention, to sitting there in a pure state of contemplation. How do I know this? Cause from time to time I'd glance up from the pages, so to give my eyes a rest and see what he was up to, only to find Simon staring out the window with his mouth resting in the palm of his hand. The sight almost took my breath away; it was that profound and impactful.

He wasn't bored or ignoring me- far from it. I could tell by the way his eyes stared off into the distance that the duke was deep in thought. And not in a bad way either. It was like he was hearing all of this for the first time and it was honestly a little overwhelming. That's partly on him for thinking that philosophy was banal in the first place. But I suspect it was more of like being in a state of awe than confusion or disillusionment. The way his chin planted so perfectly in his hand; the way the rain glinted in the reflection of his eyes; the way he so relaxed sat back in the chair; his legs, his feet; even the flash in his throat as he breathed. They were all my spies, and they told me he was undergoing an inner metamorphosis. I'd never seen anything like it before, and it honestly made me want to cry. But I carried on, reading until I would lose my voice and have to have a drink of water.

I didn't have a clue how long we'd been sitting there like that for, but that unknowing was rectified when a security guard suddenly approached us. "Miss? Excuse me, Miss?" It was being thrust out of a totally different plane of consciousness and crash-landing back into this one. And I wasn't the only one who felt that way. Both Simon and I flinched like we forgot we weren't the only two people in the store. The nice security guard seemed surprised by this but was adamant. "Sorry, Miss, but you're going to have to leave. The store's closing." "It is?!" My eyes grew in utter shock. A quick check of the time on my phone confirmed it- it was six o'clock. "Oh my god… We've been reading for over an hour!" I gasped, floored. Simon's expression was equally as flabbergasted as mine.

The security guard escorted us to the front counter where we paid for our books. Then we exited the shop, being the last patrons to do so. It had stopped raining by then; the skies clearing up. For a second, neither of us said or did anything, just standing outside the front door staring off into space. My mouth was first to open. "How'd….?" "I don't know," Simon replied, not looking at me right away. Eventually though we glanced at each other.

I blushed a bit, not really sure how to feel or even what to think just then. "W-Well! That was a nice afternoon; sure went by fast!" God, I sounded off-kilter. If Simon caught this, he was polite enough not to bring it up. "I can't believe we were in there for over an hour…." He exclaimed, more to himself than me, I think. But I still nodded in agreement. "I know. It just… sorta happened," which is weird cause nothing like that has ever happened to be before. Sensing my shyness over the whole situation, Simon's casual grin returned, if not somewhat forced for my sake.

"Oh, that reminds me. I owe you an apology." "An apology?" I blinked over to him surprised. His eyes lowered onto me. "That was anything but banal," his voice was tender just then. It took a moment for this to sink in for me, but when it did, I met him with a glorious smile. He enjoyed it; he really enjoyed it. That felt better than being right. That made me happier than anything could have this afternoon. "Good, I'm glad," was my sweet, soft reply. We smiled at one another yet again; we seemed to do that a lot recently.

"Which reminds me! Thank you for the flowers. We all loved them; mine were so beautiful. They're still blooming in my room." "You keep them in your room?" He sounded surprised by this. I blinked puzzled. "Yes? W-Why not?" "Oh, no… No! It's nothing like that! I just… I'm so happy you like them. Your sister did say roses were your favourite." "And you remembered…"

There was this natural pause which fell over us. The wind was getting chillier, blowing all around us and sending a shiver up my spin. I guess that was our cue to take off. But before then, Simon's lips parted a sliver. "Are you going home now?" He asked me. My own mouth opened but I nodded my head instead of saying anything. His head also nodded. "Me too. Do you….. Is… Is Anthony coming to pick you up? Do you…. need an escort to take you home?" "Oh….. Oh, no! No, don't worry! M-My brother's coming to get me. He always does." "Mmmmm, good. I don't want you walking around the streets by yourself at this hour," he said with such ease and naturalness. This made me blink, as well as himself; I don't think he expected to be so… forthcoming with me.

To save face, he straightened up his back and cleared his throat as if to banish away whatever… well, whatever he just said meant. "A-Anyway, your brother shouldn't be long. I'll wait here until he arrives." "Simon, I…." I began, hesitating for minute before continuing. He was looking at me now. "Erm, I mean… you don't… you don't have to worry about me. My brother…. What I mean is I already have a lot of people looking out for me. And even when I'm back in Europe… I'm careful. You don't…. I'm really…." His eyes narrowed in a bit. "Don't worry about you? Well, I'm sorry; there's no "off-switch", Daphne. I can't just…." He paused. "But you don't have to," I pressed gently. "It's not a choice. You're my best friend's little sister, and I…. I…." He was reluctant to go on. My lips opened, taking their time to say anything. "You?" I managed to say soon enough. Simon looked at me; his eyes soulful and sincere. His mouth opened, only to close again. We stared at each other for I don't know how long, but finally his grin returned. His soft, soft grin… I don't know why I liked it so much when he smiled. I just did, for some odd reason; I doubt I'll ever be able to figure it out.

Simon's eyes lowered. "I don't know why it's like this, but let's just say it's easier this way." "Easier?" My eyebrow raised. And the gorgeous smile of his widened so deeply in the corners.

"It's easier for me to care about you now, than not to care….."


	15. Burnt Boxing Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne and Simon refuse to let themselves catch feelings. But they can't help but appreciate the little things they do for each other.

So, fun fact- I am not good at cooking… or baking. I can make a pretty dang good tea or hot chocolate, but as far as kitchen-skills go, that's about it. I was disappointed and annoyed but not surprised when the kitchen began to smell like something was burning. Eloise entered just as I was taking out the smoking cookie tray from the oven.

"What are you doing?" She peered over my shoulder, mildly curious. "Trying to make cookies," I sighed, tossing the tray down onto the stovetop upset. "Those are cookies?" Her eyebrow rose up. "They were supposed to be. I wanted to make Simon some sugar cookies in the shape of boxing gloves as thanks for the flowers. He's a boxer." "Huh, I did not know that. You're not gonna give him these, are you? They look like trash." "Thanks, little sis. No, I'm not; they're too burnt," another sigh fell from my lips. "Why didn't you just buy him chocolate boxing gloves?" Eloise plucked one up for inspection. "I wanted it to be special. No one's ever gotten me roses before." "Mmmmm, Daddy bought you a rose bush that one time," she smirked, attempting to nibble off the edge of the very brown and black sugar brick. She made a face and threw it back down onto the tray. Meanwhile I sent her an unimpressed scowl. "You're clever," there was no holding back the sarcasm in my tone.

"Well, hurry up. We want to start the movie. I just came in here to make the popcorn; Francesca's setting the tv up." "Can you give me a minute to clean all this up?" "Ugh, fine. But speed it up. Chick flick night waits for no girl." "I don't even want to watch a romcom," I rolled my eyes. I let my two younger sisters pick the film for tonight's entertainment- like an idiot. Eloise totally ignored my comment, taking out one of those microwavable popcorn bags and putting it into the microwave. Scarcely had she pressed "start" before a voice bellowed from the man-cave downstairs.

"Eloise!" Benedict could he heard from all the way up here, causing me to roll my eyes again. "What?!" She was just as loud as him. "Be a peach and bring me down a beer, would you! A cold one from the fridge!" Of course he was too lazy to come get it himself- that, or the match was too good to miss out on. The three eldest Bridgerton boys were having a "guys' night" tonight. They were watching this big boxing tournament in the UK somewhere; I didn't know the details exactly. Simon had come over to join them. We greeted each other at the door before he went downstairs with the others. That's when I got the bright- or not so bright- idea to make him cookies. I wanted to surprise him with them for on his way home. But… well turns out that's not happening.

Eloise couldn't have looked more apathetic to Benny's request. Instead she pulled out the big bowl designated for popcorn and butter. "Get your own beer! I'm busy!" "But I'm really thirsty!" Was his lame plea. "Yeah, I could use a cold one too!" Colin hollered up. "Make that three if you're coming down! Er, four!" Anthony added. I had to stifle a grin at the disgusted look on my sister's face. She glared towards the basement door like it housed a bunch of entitled pricks. I mean, let's be real…. If just to get them off our backs and let us enjoy our movie in peace, I went to take out a six-pack of beer from the fridge.

Eloise blinked at me. "What are you doing?" "I'll bring them drinks. Then I'll come up and we can start the movie." "You're not their servant, Daph." "No, I'm their sister. I can choose to be nice to my brothers, especially since I'm leaving soon. Besides, Simon is a guest." She, of course, rolled her eyes. "You spoil them." "No, I don't." "Yes, you do," she chuckled. Having enough of her nonsense- since I'm about to deal with a lot more- I took the beer cans downstairs.

Now, observing men watch sports is a fascinating experience. It's really something to see grown adults get so worked up over something like a sports game. And don't me wrong; I know what it's like to route for a specific team. I watch the Euro Cup and World Cup on pins and needles whenever its on. My point is that men are a lot more… abrasive, let's say. They yell and holler and jostle and scream at the television screen like the referee and players can actually hear them. Personally, I find it entertaining and a little scary, but that's just cause I'm a pacifist by nature and don't like confrontation. Which is why I can't watch boxers physically hit each other, but that's another story.

They were all being rowdy and little like teenagers when I reached downstairs with their beer in hand. They were so emersed in the match that none of them noticed my arrival for a good twenty seconds, leaving me to stand there watching them make- in my opinion- total fools of themselves. It was actually charming; nice to see they can let loose around one another. Speaking of letting loose….

Benedict was the first to spot me over by the staircase, likely because I was holding beer. Guess to where his eyes went first. "Hey, Daph!" He waved all energized and excited. All heads had to rotate from the tv screen to me, which was rather comical to witness. They were like robots moving in unison. Anthony and Simon's face lit up; hopefully for different reasons than Benny.

"Baby sis! Hi! Didn't hear you come down!" Anthony announced, also with eagerness. "I'm surprised you can hear anything with how loud you have the tv," I came over to set the cans on the table, chalked full of candy wrappers, empty soda and beer bottles, and crisp bags everywhere. Anthony muted the tv and the four descended on the poor, unsuspecting cans. Then they all grinned up at me.

"Thanks." "Yeah, thanks Daph." "Thanks, baby sis." "Thank you, Daphne." Well, at least they're still gentlemen; got to give them props for that. I smiled; my hands clasped together in front of me. "You're welcome." Simon took a drink from his can then glanced at my face, or more specifically my cheek. "Baking something?" He inquired. Confused how he would have known, I brushed my right cheek with my fingers, only to find it had flour on it. My eyes rolled up toward the ceiling, completely unimpressed with myself.

"Oh, yeah. I was trying to make boxing glove cookies for you to take home but…" "Boxing glove cookies?" Simon blinked perplexed and baffled. "Cookies shaped like boxing gloves," I clarified. Colin stuffed a crisp into his mouth casually. "You can't bake." "I know that, Colin! I wanted to try all the same. It was to thank you for the flowers you sent on Easter," I then told Simon. His eyes widened a little. "You… were baking something….. for me? No one's ever baked me something before." Anthony nodded his head approvingly at this. "It's a great idea! Where are our sisters? Why weren't they helping you? Simon got them flowers too." "They were… busy trying to decide whether we should watch The Devil Wears Prada or To All The Boys I've Loved Before. The latter won out… unfortunately," I tacked on under my breath. They all laughed. "Girls, man. I'll never understand 'em," Colin noted. "I have no doubt about that," I didn't hesitate to concur with a side-smirk.

Simon patted the couch cushion beside him. "Why don't you join us?" "Yes, come join us, baby sis! The match is just getting to the good part," Anthony also encouraged. I don't know how any part of a boxing match can be classified as "good". Not that it mattered. I raised my hand up in a grateful but passing fashion. "I'd love to stay but…." A familiar voice came rushing down to suddenly interrupt me mid-sentence. "Daphne! What's taking you so long?! How long does it take to deliver six cans of beer?! We're waiting to start the movie and popcorn's getting cold! You can side-flirt with your Peter Kavinsky later! Hurry up!" Eloise could have been one of those old-timey criers if she wanted to be. While they all seemed confused, I couldn't have internally cringed harder. I wore the world's least thrilled expression on my face, staring off into space for a moment. It's moments like this where I really wish I only had brothers.

"Who's Peter Kavinsky?" Benedict asked no one in particular. "Do we know any Kavinskys?" Colin added. "Ugh, it's nothing. She's just being a moron; just ignore her," my hand ran down my face in sheer agony. I couldn't have got out of there fast enough. I said good night to all of them before making a mad dash upstairs. They were back to their cheering and ruckus by the time I closed the door up top. With a low growl, I was about to go find my sister and give her an earful. That's what I would have done if my phone didn't start to vibrate on the kitchen counter where I'd left it. I was watching "how to make sugar cookies" on YouTube; not that it helped anything. A quick check of the screen made my eyes grew.

"Hi, Dr. Pillar!" "Hi, Daphne. Sorry; I know it's late. I was on a conference call." "No! No, not at all. I'm just happy to hear back from you," I grinned, happy to hear her voice. "I read over those research proposal ideas you sent me. They need some work." "Of course! Just… let me get a pencil!" Completely forgetting about the movie, I ran up to the desk in my room- where I stayed for the next two and half hours. We didn't talk for that long; more so between forty minutes and an hour, but I wanted to take detailed notes of everything she said. There were a lot of changes I'd have to make. After the call ended, I scribbled down anything I missed, and began looking up chapters to read and making notes of stuff I'd have to do.

By the time I exited my room again, it was after ten. The house was quiet now, what with the boxing match being over and my sisters' movie ended. Francesca came up to demand what I was doing in my room, but they left me alone when I pointed to my phone and made a "hush" gesture with my finger to my lips. The only one I saw again that night was Eloise, who was in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea. I was mentally fatigued and wanted a nice mug of hot chocolate before bed. My sister spun her head to me as I re-entered the kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" I glanced around, a little surprised by how unexpectedly quiet it was. "In their rooms. Simon went home." "Oh," my head nodded somewhat unthinkingly. Then I looked down at the cookie tray still on the stovetop. To my wonder, the burnt cookies were all gone. "You throw out the cookies?" I picked up the tray to go clean it. Honestly, I wouldn't be upset if she did; no one was going to eat those black bricks. But, much more to my shock, Eloise shook her head. I gave her a puzzled look prompting her to continue.

"Simon took them." "He what?!" This couldn't have floored me more. He wasn't supposed to take these! He was never even meant to see them. Granted, that was partly my fault since I left them unattended in the kitchen. But I never suspected he'd actually want them! Why would he want those things? They're practically inedible. Only good for the trash and what not. Reading my floored expression, Eloise had the curtsy to go on. "He said you made them for him, so he wanted to take them. Didn't seem too bothered that their heh, uneatable."

"How could you let him take them?! He's going to think I'm the worst baker in the world!" "Uh, you kind of are, sis," her eyes narrowed in that "obvious" way. My hand flew up to my forehead. "What's he going to do with burnt, disgusting cookies?! So stupid…! They're not any good… Ugh! Why didn't I just throw them out?! I'm such an idiot! Why am I such an idiot?!" "Oh my god. How can dense can you be, Daph? You know, for someone who's in Masters, you can pretty thick- you know that?" Eloise's hands planted on her hips. I looked at her dumbfounded by this statement. Her eyes lowered onto mine, softer this time.

"Duh. He wanted them because you made them for him. He doesn't care if they're burnt." "What? That's obviously not what's going on," I said before I gave myself time to think about it. "Uh, yes; it is. And if you two weren't so "anti-relationship", you'd see how much you really like each other." My cheeks turned a bright shade of red. "Me?! Like the duke?" "Well why else would you make him cookies?" "To thank him for the roses…. Er, flowers; flowers he sent all of us," I quickly corrected myself. Her eyes rolled. "Uh huh. And why do you think he sent us flowers?" "Because it was Easter." "No, you dough brain! It's because he likes you! Simon clearly has a thing for you." "Yeah, as a friend. He's made it apparent more than once that he's not interested in dating well… anyone; not just me." "He said that, but you can't stop yourself from falling in love. It just….. happens. There's no "off-switch" for feelings." She said this, and my lips parted a sliver. Off-switch…. ["Don't worry about you? Well, I'm sorry; there's no "off-switch", Daphne."] Oh…. Oh boy.

Eloise continued to watch me as I gave my head a very hard shake, as if trying to punish myself for thinking about any…. Well, any of that. No! I have to stay strong. Remember what Daddy said. Love isn't meant for people like me- it's not even worth thinking about. Besides, it's not like Simon and I could ever get married. He doesn't even want to get married…. Thinking about it like that made it a lot easier for me to calm down, though my heart was still pounding.

I drew in a deep breath and met my sister's gaze straight on. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to say, but you're wrong about this one, Eloise. The duke and I are friends- that's it. That's all either of us want; we're happy with the way things are now. And besides! What would happen if we got together and I went back to Belgium? I'm flying back soon; this is not the time to get romantically involved with anyone." She stared into my eyes for a moment, letting a pregnant pause slip in. "So you haven't caught feelings for Simon at all?" "No! I mean, he's great to hang out with and I feel like crying whenever he smiles. Plus I admire the person he is on the inside. But that's normal between friends, isn't it?" Her eyes narrowed onto mine suspiciously. "Have you ever felt that way about anyone before?" I don't know how long I watched her for, but eventually at some point my lips opened again.

"Well, no; but that doesn't automatically mean I like him. Like "like" like him." Eloise shook her head incredulous. "You don't get it, Daph. If you don't sink your claws into him soon, he might slither away." "Let him. I'd never want to trap Simon," I know all too well what that's like. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, sis. Don't you think he's one in a million?" "Oh, I think you're wrong there, Eloise. Simon isn't one in a million.

He's more like one in a lifetime."


	16. Having Daphne Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Daphne go out for ice cream together.

'Dearest gentle reader. It is often said that those who marry in haste must repent at leisure. A sentiment that is clearly shared by the Bridgerton heiress, Miss Daphne Bridgerton, who is apparently returning to the Mainland without so much as accepting a single visit from a gentleman caller. Some believe she is showing admirable forethought in her deliberations, but I would venture a different conjecture- one to do with the two titans constantly surrounding her: referring, of course, to the viscount and the duke.'

Simon had invited me out for ice cream. We went to this cute little Victorian parlour downtown. It was full of families and other couples. We sat up on the step at this two-person table. Simon, who got three scoops of ice cream and a coffee, waited patiently for mine to arrive. I ordered the hot fudge and caramel sundae with a hot chocolate. Simon requested they bring us water too- something which I noticed but didn't verbally address. It did make me happy though. He's being conscious of my condition…..

I smiled at him. "You should eat." "I'll wait for yours," the duke countered softly. "But it'll melt." "I'm not taking a bite until you get yours," he shook his head. My grin grew clever in the corners. "That's not what they do in polite society in Europe." "Well, you're not in Belgium; you're in England, and I'm going to wait," his eyes met mine. I didn't say more, still smiling at him. This guy….. So stubborn.

My ice cream and beverage were delivered soon enough. This kind lady set it down in front of me with a smile. "Here we are," she grinned at me. "Thank you," I mirrored her expression. Simon waited for me to pick up my spoon and take the first nibble of dessert; only then did he tuck in on his now-melty treat. "It's delicious," I remarked casually, taking another spoonful. He nodded. "Best ice cream in London." I took a sip of hot chocolate and wiped my mouth with a paper napkin. My eyes couldn't stop themselves from wandering back over to him, no matter where else I looked.

"How'd you find this place? It's so charming." "My governess used to bring me here," Simon explained. "Your nanny?" I pondered. His head shook again, him wiping his mouth now too. "My father was very old fashioned. He had me watched around the clock when I was young; well, that is until I was shipped off to boarding school." "Oh…." I suddenly felt a little bad and embarrassed. Sounds like he didn't the best relationship with his dad…. I mean, Daddy's and my relationship wasn't prefect either, but at least we loved each other dearly. He was the most dear man in the world to me before he died…. Doesn't sound like Simon felt the same about his dad, however. Seeing my reaction, Simon smirked and scooped up some more ice cream.

"Ah, it's all in the past. Plus I liked boarding school." "Was it like Hogwarts?" "Why does everyone think all British boarding schools are like Hogwarts? You are British, Daphne," he rolled his eyes. I laughed. "Well, I don't know! I only ever went to private academies- none of which were anything like Hogwarts…. Really tragic, actually." "Hmmmm, is that so? Tell me something else," grinning, he leaned back in his seat, watching me. "About what?" I ate some more ice cream and glanced at him. He shrugged. "Anything. Tell me something about you- something I don't know yet."

I contemplated for a moment. "Ok, here's one. I love dinosaurs." "Dinosaurs? You?" His eyebrow lifted mildly surprised. "Mmhmm, I've always loved them. Daddy wouldn't let me have dinosaur bedsheets when I was little because apparently "dinosaurs are boys". But I still have all my dinosaur beanie babies- I brought them to Belgium with me." "You did not," Simon cracked a side-grin, to which my head nodded. "They're sitting on my shelf in my room. The lady man calls my room "the cute room"." "I bet it is cute," he chuckled. "You know it," happily I took another sip of my drink. Simon merely continued to grin my way, running his forefinger across his bottom lip.

"Now you tell me something." "It's my turn, is it? Heh, I don't know how I'll top dinosaurs but… Let's see," he took some time to think about it. Soon enough his hand lowered away from his face. "When I was little, I used to wake up early so I could sneak downstairs and watch Power Rangers." "You did?! You woke up early for Power Rangers?" My eyebrow raised a tad unimpressed with younger Simon's choice of television programme. He seemed slightly offended by this. "It was better than the My Little Pony and Lizzie McGuire I'm sure you were watching." "Wrong, sir! If I had my way- which was rare in a household of nine- I'd watch Pokemon or Dragon Ball X….. But my brothers always wanted to watch Yu-Gi-Oh or Star Wars, and my sisters always, always put on those stupid Barbie movies. Well, ok; Barbie's Rapunzel was pretty good, but they liked The Princess and the Pauper…. You know, being an only child has its benefits," I sighed, remembering; battling over the television remote was a nightly endeavour in the Bridgerton household for years. Simon chuckled gently, lowering his eyes. "I suppose it does have its perks."

After a second, the duke's eyes rolled back up to me. "What else?" "My turn again? Mmmmm, let me think… Oh! Here's one. I've never drank a cup- or even half a cup- of beer in my life." "Well that's no surprise. You shouldn't drink with your condition, should you?" His arms folded in a nonchalant manner. "Never stopped my father," I muttered under my breath, taking a quick sip of water. "Wait. So you have no idea what beer tastes like?" "Oh I've tried it before; just like a sip, then I spat it back out. I was seventeen and under the impression that beer would taste sweet, like apple juice, for some reason. Haven't had a drink since." "I trust then, you haven't frequented the party scene in Brussels?" "Never. Not that I'd want to go anyway. These balls and socials Anthony drags me along to is more than enough as it is…." My hand rose up to rest on my forehead. Simon grinned at me. "It's a good thing he did, otherwise we wouldn't have met." This caused me to stare straight at the duke, just realizing that he's right. Hey, yeah; that's true. If I never went to the spring social, Simon and I wouldn't have met…. and we'd never become friends. The very notion made me feel better. Wearing a smile yet again, I tucked back into my sundae. Simon watched me for another second before descending back onto his.

"Is it really hard, living with your condition?" "Not really- not if I take care of it. It doesn't stop me from doing anything I want to," yet, anyway. Thank god I don't want children. Simon nodded, peering down at his ice cream bowl. "That's good. You just have to keep on top of it then." "Heh, easier said than done. But I'm doing alright." Still, Simon poured me another glass of water. I blinked at it, then back at him. Our eyes met and I grinned. Awe… That was cute, though I'm not sure he meant it to be so. It was just inherently so.

He took one of the last spoonfuls of ice cream he had, still smiling. "Ok, your turn. Tell me a random fact about Miss Daphne Bridgerton." "I think it's actually your turn." "No, it's yours. I'm rather enjoying this- learning meaningless, little facts about you," he polished off his dessert and leaned back in his chair. I mirrored his pleasant, relaxed expression. "Meaningless, are they?" "Inconsequential, let's say," he amended. Satisfied with this, I nodded. Then I blinked thoughtfully. "Well, I've never been in love before…." "Nooooo?" He said sarcastically, making me send him a playful glare. A calm, gentle pause fell over us before I continued.

"But… I think if I ever did fall in love, I think I'd like it be the Troubadour kind of love." "Ah, yes. You're studying Troubadourian poetry, aren't you?" I nodded. "For almost two years now, yes. But I've liked the Troubadours since undergrad." Simon's forefinger ran across his lip again, curiously this time. "And what is the "Troubadourian kind of love" exactly?" "It's the idea that true romantic love transcends the physical realm- that is to say, "hugging passionately"." "You call it that?" He chuckled. "Well I'm most certainly not going to say it out loud." "Right. Go no," he nodded in understanding.

"It's the highest and purest form of love, or so they believed. Troubadour knights would fall deeply and madly in love with a woman, without the intention to bed her. That's not to say they couldn't get married, but if they did it wasn’t because they wanted to…. you know. They merely wanted to be devoted to each other; they fell in love with the person rather than the body. I suppose I think it's the best phase of love because I've been studying the poets these knights wrote to their ladies for so long…. But when you read it, you realize there's something there- something modern society has seemed to have forgotten about. Course this was back in a time when the concepts of marriage and love were entirely separate things. Still…." My eyes lowered, my lips lingered for a second. "There's something there…. I think there's something there." Then our eyes met again.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Simon smile- he was smiling again. A soft, sincere smile… and it was aimed at me. "There you go, teaching me again." "Oh… Oh! Sorry! That wasn't my intent-…" My hands shot up in front of me. But he also rose up one of his hands. He shut his eyes and shook his head. Then his gaze met mine. "Just for the record, I think you're right, or rather the Troubadours are right. There is nothing more attractive than selfless devotion and protection." "I couldn't agree more," my eyes softened in their corners. We looked at one another for I don't know how long until I shook my head, as if to pull myself back to reality. "Alright, enough about me! You're turn now! Tell me something different; tell me what's the last thing you've ever tried for the first time," I saw that question online once on one of those "what to discuss with friends" forums. Simon continued to stare in my direction; his lips morphing back into a deep, knowing grin.

"Going out for ice cream with a lady."

This, of course, made me blink in shock and astonishment at him. My balled hand rose up to my flustering chest. My cheeks sizzled a light pink. "R-Really?" And he nodded…. He nodded with such sincerity. "I've known girls before but you're the first one I've ever become friends with; to this extent anyway." "W-Well, thank you… I guess? You're the first guy I've really become friends with as well. The only other men I know well are my brothers…." Saying this out loud only made my cheeks glow brighter. Nugh! Is there a way to turn the blushing off?! It's embarrassing! Simon didn't appear bothered by this, mind you. He simply chuckled and shook his head. "Looks like we're both pretty green in this area." "Y-Yeah, I suppose we are…" "It's alright though. It gives us time to figure it out… to grow together." My eyes found the courage to peak back up to his eyes once more. He smiled, and I couldn't help but imitate his expression.

"Yeah, it does. And thank you, Simon." "Huh? For what?" He blinked a tad confused. My grin merely, effortlessly widened. "For telling me all this. I feel like I'm seeing a different side of you- gradually, I mean…. A softer side. We've never opened up and talked to each other like that before, like real friends…. I'm glad we have now is all." A pregnant pause- though not an awkward one- fell between us. Simon just sat there for a minute; his eyebrow eventually raising. "And that makes you happy?" "Why not? We're friends; we should feel comfortable around each other. If not, we can't be doing this whole friendship thing right." Then Simon laughed. "You make me sound lonely and in desperate need of companionship." I shook my head, still smiling ear-to-ear. "No, just someone who's spending time with his friend. At least you know you're not alone." Simon's eyes shimmered onto me. His lush lips opened, then closed again. Finally he grinned- a profound expression I hadn't seen from him before. "It's true. I'm not alone anymore, am I?

Somehow, without my ever noticing it, it felt so natural…. having you near."


	17. What Dad Would Have Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony and Daphne have a heart-to-heart.

["I'm… not going to be around for much longer….." Anthony and I stood at Daddy's bedside. Neither of us said anything, just watched our father with solemn expressions. The only one at ease in the room was Daddy. He smiled at me first, reaching out to warily take my hand. "Don't look so… sad, sweetheart. It's not so bad; at least I won't be in any pain anymore." "Daddy…." My bottom lip quivered. His eyes lowered onto me. "I know you're going to miss me… and I wish I could stay with you longer- all of you. But you have to remember… just always remember how much I love you. No matter what happens going forward… know I love you; I loved you first. That'll never change, pumpkin." "Daddy," a teardrop rolled down my cheek. Daddy's gentle eyes drifted from me to Anthony. He looked like he was on the verge of crying now too.

"Promise me…. You must promise me, Anthony, to watch over your sister… when I'm gone. Take care of her; her and all of your siblings. I love them in my place…. Give them the proper love of a brother, in place of a father." "Dad," my brother whispered. Daddy's sad grin widened. "Don't give me that look, son. Time changes everything…. Life must go on. It's up to you now….. to be the head of the Bridgerton household. That's a great honour… and with great honour comes great responsibility." "I know, Dad…." "But I'm serious, Anthony… don't let anything happen to my kids. It's your job as their big brother to take care of everything. Watch over Daphne for me… I'll see them grow up and flourish through your eyes. Love them, as I did… Love her, as I did.

I never knew it was possible to love someone so much; then I became a dad."

I couldn't stay in the room much longer. Anthony found me on one of the wooden swings outside, sitting there and staring off into space like a zombie. I was almost numb, it hurt so much. My eldest brother came out of the house; his hands clasped behind his back and his mouth a thin, flat line. I doubt he knew what to say to me right away.

He didn't have to say anything though. The moment he arrived behind me at the swing, I stood up and spun around to face him. Both of our expressions were the same- full of profound sadness and lack of hope. What was there to hope for now? He was dying in front of our very eyes… Still… For his sake more than my own, I decided to break the painful silence first.

"It's ok, you don't have to say it." "Daphne, I'm so…." Anthony flinched. "It's alright, I understand how you feel…. You and Daddy. I just wish there was more I could do….. for both of you." "Baby sis…." "You've already done so much, Anthony. You've always been a good big brother, and a good son; you've always been there for all of us. Still…. That's a lot of responsibility Daddy's placing on your shoulders. I'm sorry."

My brother shook his head. "Don't be. It's not your fault. And besides I… I want to look after you; you and everyone. I don't want you to think I'm doing it just for Dad's sake." "I know you're not." "Daphne…." Our eyes met; tenderness was in each our gazes. "This must be so hard on you, Anthony." "It's hard on all of us… I can see what Dad's situation is doing to you too." "But you especially… You've always sought Daddy's approval so hard. You must know that you have it, big brother." "I don't… know about that," his eyes scrolled down a little. Anthony, I continued to stare at him. He's suffering so much; my poor, poor beloved brother…. I don't know what I can do for him. I don't….

Against all reasoning, I smiled at Anthony; I grinned at my eldest brother through the thick, permeating sadness. "Don't worry. I know for you." "Daphne!" Anthony blinked up in astonishment, but my grin did not wavier. "He loves you, Anthony…. He loved you first too." "Daphne…." His eyes finally lowered. I reached out to take his hand in mine; my fingers wrapped around his palm, giving it a squeeze. I walked around the swing to stand beside my brother, smiling tenderly up at him. Anthony still wore a dumbfounded expression. "Let's go back inside. I'll stay with Daddy tonight so you can have some rest." "Baby sis?" "I love you too, Anthony. I want you to be happy; I want you to laugh a lot. That's what he wants too. Daddy will see us through your eyes…

And he'll see you through mine."]

There was a knock at my bedroom door. Anthony opened it carrying a tall glass of water. He found me rummaging through my bottom desk drawer. I don't know why but I was just thinking of Daddy and wanted to see some pictures of him. I'd left a few in there when I went off to university in Brussels. Anthony set the water on my nightstand and sat down beside me.

"What are you doing?" "Oh, just looking at stuff. Thanks for the water, by the way." "No problem. I just wanted to come see how your packing was coming along, but I see you haven't started it." "Heh, not yet," I chuckled gently, closing the drawer. Seeing Daddy's pics always made Anthony sad still. I reached for the cup of water; my brother observing me casually as I took a few gulps. Then I leaned back against the bedframe, Anthony following suit. We stared quietly at the wall for a moment, not saying anything; though I'm sure there was lots on both our minds. There was definitely a lot on mine.

Anthony took in a deep breath. "I can't believe your stay's almost over." "Yeah, it went by super-fast," I nodded in agreement. "It feels like just yesterday you flew in… and now you're going so far away again." Anthony, I glanced to him from the corner of my eye. His voice just now…. I forced a grin to help ease the atmosphere. "I'll be back- it'll be before you know it." "Daphne, I…." "I have to go back, Anthony. I have to finish my dissertation and graduate." "I know you do."

A moment of silence ensued. I was about to say something when Anthony set something down onto the floor. He slid it over to me, causing me to blink down at it puzzled. It looked like an airplane ticket. "What's that?" "Don't go." "Huh?" This caught me off guard. But my brother turned his head to look at me with such genuine sincerity. "Don't go just yet. Stay for another month or so." "Oh; oh, big bro. I can't…." "Yes, you can. You can continue researching and writing your dissertation remotely. As per your Masters contract, you are allowed to do so for up to six months." "You remember me telling you that?" This certainly surprised me; we discussed my Masters contract almost two full years ago. It was such a little detail; something I definitely forgot. But Anthony….

Our eyes met again. His softened in the corners. "Please, baby sister. Life is so much easier with you around. I just want… just a bit longer. Can't you stay for a bit longer? At least before you start PhD?" "You mean before I get married?" My eyebrow raised. Anthony shook his head. "I mean before you move across the channel for good. And it's not just me; Francesca, Hyacinth, and Gregory all want you to stay too." "You discussed this with them?!" I gasped. "It was mentioned in passing, yes. Come on, Daphne. You're not going to be able to stay here with us forever. We'd really like it…. I'd really like it if you stayed a bit longer. We'll give you all the time and space you need to work. Just knowing you're near…. That'll be enough, at least for me." "Anthony," my lips parted.

He said this and something went off in my brain. Something I'd forgotten from long ago… My eyes lowered onto my brother in an understanding manner. "This is about what Daddy said, isn't it?" "Huh?" "About you watching over me. You were always anxious about me living abroad." He thought about it for a minute, eventually grinning- a small grin. "Well, I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of it. But really, Daphne, it's just… I just…." Instead of continuing, his mouth shut to a solid line. His head tilted downward slightly. "He'd be so incredibly proud of you, baby sis; but I can't help but think he'd be disappointed in me," he said this like he actually believed it. That worried me.

"Oh, no! No, Anthony! He'd be so proud of you; of the man you became. You've done such a good job taking care of the estate and all of us." "Hmmmmm, but he wouldn't like you living so far away." "No….. he probably wouldn't. But he wouldn't blame you for that." "Yes, he would." "No, he wouldn't. He loved you first, big bro. Never forget that." He finally smiled back up at me. "I know…. I know."

After smiling at one another for a moment, I pulled my legs into my chest; hugging them close with my arms. I then scooted over to lean up against my brother's side. Anthony's eyes grew surprised, but he didn't say anything; we hadn't sat this close together in a long time. "You're not the only one who feels like they're a let-down to Daddy. Regardless of what he wanted for me, I have no desire to get married…. Not for a title anyway. He'd really be disappointed in me." "No, he wouldn't. He loved you more than anything. You could do no wrong in his eyes." "Hmmmmm, except I was born with the same heart condition as him. He never did forgive himself for that." "How could he? You were his first-born daughter and favourite child….."

My smile deepened in the corners and I softly fluttered my eyes shut. "I know why you want me to stay, Anthony. And a part of me- a large part- wants to stay here too…. But I can't lie, I love the freedom Europe gives me." "I know; it's always been kind of stifling for you here at home. But it's also safe…. Isn't that what matters most? Dad sure thought so." "And what about you? What do you think, big bro?"

Anthony didn't reply immediately. I reopened my eyes and we returned our gazes to each other's faces. Wearing a soulful expression, Anthony's hand reached up to brush some stray hairs off my chest, just like Daddy used to do….. "I think it's my job to keep you safe, for all our sakes. Please, promise me you'll think about it. Think about what Dad would have wanted… for both of us. Please…." Anthony, my eyes lowered. I flashed him a kind, accepting smile, if only to ease his nerves.

"I'll think about it."


	18. Be Careful For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Daphne attend their supposedly last dance together.

It's worst between 2-4pm, when I don't feel like doing anything. I had to lay down for a bit this afternoon and check my body temperature. It was still a little high- not the best sign in the world. Still, it had come down from what it was this morning so I shouldn't worry too much. Anthony knocked on my bedroom as I put the digital thermometer away. "Ready to go?" He asked. "Sure am," I spun back around with a grin. It'd be alright tonight; my blood pressure usually picked up again later in the afternoon which was a good thing.

Benedict, Anthony, and I all met Simon outside the front entrance to tonight's ball. This would be my last ball before flying back to Brussels this weekend- thank god. Benedict was going back to Oxford soon too. This would be the final time the three of us siblings went out together like this for who knows how long. Simon greeted us with a smile, then he entered the party. After he was announced it, Benedict made his entrance. Then finally Anthony with me on his arm. The mood felt….. different tonight, for some reason. And I'm not talking about the four of us.

No sooner had Anthony removed my coat did a man- I didn't know his name- came over to us. This was surprising, seeing as no one ever approached us so directly at these sorts of events. What was even more surprising- and alarming- was that this guy, whoever he was, was looking straight at me. He didn't even acknowledge the three men surrounding me. I was stationed firmly in between Simon and my eldest brother, who did not appear at all assumed by this man's forwardness. Not that he cared at the moment, I suspect.

"Miss Bridgerton," this man flashed me a devilish smile; one which did not inspire me. Sensing that I had no clue who he was, Anthony so graciously stepped in. "Lord Weaver," he greeted on my behalf. I sent him a "thank you" grin while this Lord Weaver follow also turned his head to my brother; though not as enthusiastically as me. Lord Weaver gazed him, then back at me. "I was wondering if you might do me the honour of a dance tonight?"

Both Simon and Anthony frowned, completely unimpressed. While my face flushed as I tried to scramble for the words to tell him "no, thank you", I was waiting for Anthony to interject and say something first. But to everyone's astonishment, it was the duke who spoke next. "Must we share your attention with every moon-eyed dandy, Miss Bridgerton?" Simon asked in a loud voice which could be heard all across the room. We all blinked to him; Benny hiding a smile with his hand, Lord Weaver looking horrified, and Anthony so cleverly catching on. He grinned at Simon then proceeded to glare at the intruder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder protectively. "Precisely. My sister only dances with her brothers, Lord Weaver; until she finds a proper match, that is."

This flicker of realization glossed over Lord Weaver's eyes. He looked right at my brother, now frowning. His eyebrows narrowed in contempt. "Oh, I see. Well, I shouldn't be surprised. After all….

You are your father's son."

Benny and I rolled our gazes to our brother nervously. Anthony's cheeks tightened, his lips pursed together. He knew when he'd been insulted; we all knew that. And what's more, this jerk had the nerve to drag Daddy into this. Lord Weaver was referring to Daddy's infamous reputation as a social climber- which he was but we would never say anything against him. At least in public. But calling Daddy out like was dangerous to do in front of Anthony or even me. You can say whatever you want about me, but don't you dare insult my family. Then it became a matter of greater honour. Luckily, Benny and I didn't have to get mad cause Anthony had that covered.

Still, Anthony was determined to play his cards and keep the upper hand. He pulled down the rims of his jacket and- to Lord Weaver's shock and embarrassment- completely ignored him. Instead he turned to me- and trust me, this was a power move on his part- and grinned. He placed his hand on my shoulder. "Go get a drink with Simon. Then you and Benedict can have the first dance."

Now everyone present knew what Anthony was doing by this. He was deliberately showing Lord Weaver how easy access to me could be, but you had to go through him to get it. Him and Simon were friends; Anthony trusted Simon. And Benedict was my brother, so there was nothing stopping him from talking to me. This may sound overly old-fashioned and a little creepy, and that very well may be accurate. But at the moment I was just so happy not to be forced to dance with this guy. I didn't even really want to talk to him. Instead, I merrily approached Simon and side-by-side we went over to the refreshment table, not even looking back at the awkward situation.

Simon picked up two glasses and began filling one with water. "Water?" He inquired, which was pointless because he was already pouring it. "Mmmm, I'd like some orange juice." "Have a glass of water first. It's hot in here," he handed me the now filled-cup. I rolled my eyes. "You sound just like my brother." "One glass is not going to hurt you. Drink." I couldn't help but grin. He's so charming when he wants to be. "Alright," I took three large gulps. He filled his own cup with punch; I wasn't sure if it had alcohol in it or not. Perhaps not but why take the chance?

We stood there beside each other, now watching the partygoers and dancers. Simon took a sip of his drink then side-eyed me. "Going to miss this?" "Decidedly not. Parties and socials like this have never been my thing. I'm looking forward to being a nobody once more," and all the freedom that entails. "Time's flown by so fast," he took a sip of his beverage. I nodded. "It has. Becoming your friends hasn't slowed anything down," my grin returned. He looked at me. "Oh?" "Mmhmm. I'm going to miss hanging out with you." "Are you?" He sounded a little amazed by this. By my grin didn't falter. "Course. It's super easy… being your friend." "Yeah, same with you," we peered back out at the dancefloor in unison. Simon's eyes lowered slightly in a tender fashion.

"Be careful." "Huh?" This caused me to blink back his way puzzled. His expression was adamant, however. "Be careful…. when you're back in the mainland." What? Why is he staying this? He sounds genuinely…. genuinely concerned. It made my heart flutter a little. I had to be careful to keep it in check, lest it beat so loud he hears it. I forced- yes, forced- an awkward grin. "Course I'll be careful. I always am. I've made it this long, after all." But Simon didn't smile; he face grew even more solemn. He head spun in such a way so to face mine.

"What you said, or rather what you didn't say in the garden that night… It worried me, Daphne." "The garden?" I blinked confused as to what he referred to. That didn't last long, mind you. ["Hey, by the way. How did you know Nigel was following you earlier?"] Oh! Oh…. Unsurprisingly, Simon frowned. "Do they follow you around a lot in Brussels?" His hands clasped behind his back in an upset manner. Simon, my eyes lowered. "It's no big deal. Nothing bad has ever happened. And girls get stalked over there all the time." "Daphne…." He began before I cut him off with a head shake. "Really, Simon; I'm fine. I can handle myself. I'll be safe; I always am." He didn't look convinced- not in the slightest.

The duke let out a sigh. "Now I know how your brother feels," his long stare rolled back forward. My head shook again. "What is it with men constantly worrying about me? Seriously, it's been like this my life. First Daddy, then Anthony… If they had their way, no one would worry about me as much as my husband. Do you really think I'm so pitiful and helpless? That my life would shatter to pieces without someone- always a man- watching over me like a little girl? Like a child?" "No, you misunderstand," Simon countered. But I wasn't done, huffing out loud to myself.

"I don't think so. I think I'm right that all men are controlling by nature. Sure, you can love, but you'll always want to be dominant over well….. everything. You can't understand that a woman is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. How could you? You don't see me on the same level as another man," I paused, taking a moment to breathe. Simon could only gawk at me with wide eyes, mildly horrified. And I'll admit, I was a bit shocked at myself too. I'd never vented about any of this with a guy before- only with my sisters. Simon was the first, and I don't think that was a good thing.

This very uncomfortable silence fell between us. Usually quiet with Simon wasn't awkward, but the air now was so tense that you could slice it with a butter knife. The duke simply kept watching me, and not with a happy expression. I looked everywhere but his eyes, now suddenly feeling very embarrassed and full of regret. When I could take this painful stillness no longer, my lips eventually parted. "Simon, I'm sorry. I…." "You don't know anything, do you?"

Of course I looked up to him flabbergasted. For him to say something so blatant and harsh to me. Simon's face was hard as a stone, his eyes sharp and penetrating; and they didn't dare blink away from me. "Have you ever inquired as to why all these "controlling men", as you say, fret over you so exhaustively? It is not because we think you are weak and helpless- rather, we are the ones who feel helpless." "S-Simon!" My hand rose up to my chest. His crisp stare narrowed onto my eyes. "We like to think of ourselves as strong men, Miss Bridgerton. And for most the time, we live under that illusion- easily so. It is only when someone like you comes along that the veil is lifted and we are reminded just how weak, just how frail, just how human we are." "Me?" This couldn't have stunned me more. What does he mean "me"? What do I have to do with anything? But he nodded his head firmly, closing his eyes for a second.

"Believe it: it is more than a little convenient going about day to day, being afraid of nothing. There is no trial, no tribulation that shatters my self-grandeur so forcefully. I can go through life, believing I am strong- strong enough to handle whatever may befall me. It is only when I am near you that I see… that I understand what a phantasm that is. You, Daphne, prove me wrong- every single time I look at you, you prove me wrong." "W-Wrong about what?" It was my voice which was shaky now. Simon's lips parted but works only followed a minute later.

"That I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. That I'll never that strong…. I know what it is like to be afraid. Genuinely afraid. But it is not for me; it is never for my sake. It would be so much easier if it was. But it's not… I'm the one who feels weak and helpless here, because when I look at you, I become afraid… whenever I think of you in harm's way. It doesn't matter how strong I am, or your father was, or Anthony is, if we can't protect you. That is why we worry about you, Daphne. We like to think of ourselves as strong, and when we are afraid, we try to fix the problem. That is how we were raised; that is what we taught at Oxford. When we have a dilemma, we solve it. And it is easier for us to be protective… and protect you, than to stand by and anxiously watch you do it on your own. What you see as "controlling" I see as solving the problem. I'm not strong enough to look away and to simply trust…. Not anymore."

I stared at Simon with eyes wider than they've ever been. Simon, he… I said I'm glad we're opening up to each other before, but man! I was not expecting that. My heart- hell, my whole body- certainly wasn't. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing a mile a minute, my legs felt like jelly ready to collapse any second now. I doubt I was able to grasp the full gravity of what he'd just told me but it felt… it felt…. My eyes snuck a peek back up at his face. His beautiful, beautiful face…. Why do I suddenly feel like I want to burst out crying? Where are all these warm fuzzy tingles coming from all of a sudden?

It didn't take long for Simon to snap out of it either. He'd be blushing too right now, if he let himself. Instead he yanked his head off to the side, ripping his eyes away from mine. He shut them; I think they revealed too much emotion still at the moment. "W-Well, anyway….. I-It doesn't matter. Y-You don't need to concern yourself with any of that. I just….. wanted you to know it wasn't coming from a place… or desire to control you. That's not it whatsoever." "Simon, I…." I had to be careful how I proceeded, lest tears start to trickle down my cheeks. Come on; get it together, Daphne! Don't misread what he'd just told you! There's nothing romantic or anything about it…. It wasn't meant to be romantic, I'm sure. I mean, it's not like he loves me or anything- that's not it at all! That's not it…. My lips opened a sliver.

"Simon, you're…. Are you…? Do you….? We're friends, aren't we?" Why did I say that? Did I want to sound like a moron? He blinked to me alarmed. "What?! Of course we're friends. You didn't think….?" "No! No, I thought…. I know we are friends. It's just…. I didn't know….. men could feel that way. I know Daddy and Anthony love me, but…. but…" He watched me for a moment longer before sighing. "Yes, we are friends, Daphne. You never have to worry about that." "Good…. good," hearing him say that deeply calmed my nerves. I still felt like crying, however. My arms wrapped around me so to hug myself; I was trembling from the inside out.

After another moment of simply, silently observing me, the duke's whole face softened. "So, do you understand now?" "I-I think so…. a little better now, anyway." "Good. I didn't want you going back to Europe thinking that…." "Oh no! No, Simon; I know…. I know." I think for the first time in forever, I think I'm starting to understand.

Our stares locked, and they immediately softened onto each other's. "When do you leave?" "Monday morning. I'm flying out of Gatwick." He nodded, slanting his head down a shyly. "Will you… keep in contact?" "Of course! We'll call and text. And I want you to give me your address so I can send you postcards and cards for your birthday and what not." His eyes grew gentle in the corners. "I can do that." "Good, thank you. I'll keep you up-to-date….. on all what's going on with me. I'd like it if you did the same, Simon." Our eyes met once again. His transfixed onto mine. The world's briefest pause overtook us. His mouth soon opened. "Daphne, I….."

"Daphne!" The duke was interrupted by Benedict bouncing innocently over to us. He flashed us both an eager, happy smile. "Ready? They're starting the next waltz." "O-Oh! Oh, yes; of course!" Without first thinking, I set my empty glass down and took my brother's arm. Simon gave him a friendly nod then glanced back over in my direction. "Have a good dance, Miss Bridgerton." "I will, your grace. Try not to get too board while I'm gone." "I won't," he chuckled. "Come on, sis," Benny started pulling my arm. I was about to leave with him before Simon called my name one last time. "Daphne!" I made Benny pause so I could peer back at him over my shoulder. His face was firm but heartfelt again. "Be careful, when you're back.

Be careful."


	19. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne gets two phone calls in one evening.

"I didn't really do much else today. Just returned some university books to their respective libraries, then came home for a little rest this afternoon. By the way, thank you for the package! What a surprise! Dinosaur-shaped candies!" My voice was all excited and joyous. Simon had called me this evening to see how packing was going and to say goodnight. It was Friday night, and I'd be flying out this Monday morning. Course that gave the duke enough time to order me a surprise farewell gift of dinosaur-shaped hard candies in a variety of yummy flavours for me to enjoy on the flight. The delivery came this afternoon, and I couldn't have been happier. This man knew how to make me smile- like really smile from deep, down inside from the heart. Who knew one little gesture could bring so much joy?

"They're perfect! I love dinosaurs!" Simon chuckled on the other end of the line. "I know." "I'm particularly looking forward to trying the blue-raspberry T-rexs. Where'd you even find something like these?" "I have my ways. But it should be no surprise that I found them on an American site." "Heh, no; that doesn't surprise me at all. Thank you, Simon. It's a gift tailored specifically to me- I love candy, and I love dinosaurs. I can't tell you how incredibly thoughtful that was of you," I smiled, even though I know he couldn't see it. I'm sure he was shrugging his shoulders a tad timidly right now; I could imagine it in my head. "Well, I wanted to make sure you had something to look forward to on the plane. I know it's going to be hard leaving your family on Monday, and let's be frank, no one likes dealing with the Gatwick airport." I laughed. "So true! It shouldn't be too bad, though. Not a lot of people fly out on Monday mornings usually. And the plane ride itself isn't too long." "Don't you have to be at the airport two hours before take-off?" I thought about it for a minute, letting out a sudden sigh and running my hand across my face. "Oh yeah, that's right. Nugh, I'm gonna have to spend two hours at Gatwick airport." "Do you have something to keep yourself entertained?" "Eh, I guess I'll just bring a book or something. Maybe watch some Netflix on my phone. I'll find some way to pass the time," I always do. "Could you work on your dissertation?" "No, airports are too noisy. I need to be somewhere quiet where I can think to write, and heh, Gatwick ain't it," a giggle left my lips again.

"Speaking of airports, have you started packing yet?" "Not yet. I always wait til last minute… for some reason." "Hmmmm, is that wise?" He asked in jest. "I think so. Gives me time to remember everything I need to bring. Usually I start a little pile somewhere in my room and just add to it as I think of things." "That's not a bad idea." "Course it's not! I'm an experienced traveller, don't forget. I've done this lots before." Then Simon got quiet for a second, alarming me a little. It was supposed to be a joke; I didn't mean anything by it. When he spoke again, his tone was low and sincere. "I know…." "Simon?"

Before either of us could say more, by bedroom door slammed open. Eloise waltzed herself in, lazily tossing herself onto my bed- all without my permission, I might add! "Who're talking to?" She asked nosily. "What are you doing in here?" I remarked, wholly unamused and unimpressed. My sister, of course, couldn't have cared less. She rolled onto her stomach, her head hanging off the bed. "Is that Simon? Hi Simon!" I rolled my eyes and he chuckled sweetly. "Hi Eloise," he answered back, though she couldn't hear him. "Really cute package you sent Daph today. And hey! Where's my candy?! Cats are my favourite animal." "Stop it, Eloise! He got me those as a goodbye present," I gave her leg a light smack. "Well actually I came across them online and couldn't not get them for you, Daphne. They suited you too well," the duke corrected me. "Heh, you know me too well, your grace," my eyes lowered. Yet another chuckle left his lips. "Yes; yes, I do."

Eloise rolled from side to side overtop my bed, making kissing sounds. "Mmmmmm smoochy, smoochy. Someone's in love!" "Eloise! Ignore her, Simon," I tried to dismiss my sister's unseemly behaviour. "You are! Why else would you be talking on the phone- gasp!- after dark?" "For your information, little sister, the duke called me to see how packing was going and to say goodnight. That's all!" "Haha, course I come to learn you haven't started packing yet," Simon laughed. "I'll pack on Sunday after brunch at the hotel. Anthony invited you already, didn't he?" "Yes, he did." "Good, I was going to ask if he hadn't yet." "You were?" Simon's tone was peppered with a hint of surprise. "Course! I wanna see you one last time before I go." "Don't worry; I wouldn't miss it. I'll come for brunch with your family at eleven sharp at the hotel." "Perfect! It'll be our last family outing all together until Benny and I come back from university," whenever that may be.

"Are you going to bed soon?" Simon then inquired. "Soon. I just wanna organize my desk and have a bath, then I'll go to bed. How about you?" "Hmmmm, I think I'll go to the boxing gym for a bit, then have a shower and hit the sack." "Sounds good. Make sure to wear yourself so you're good and tired." While we were discussing this, Eloise got up off my bed and made her way over to my bed. I wasn't paying attention when she picked up the open-ended plane ticket Anthony gave me a few nights back. I'd left it laying around in the open, like an idiot. She opened the flap and pulled out the dateless ticket.

"Did you tell Simon about this?" I checked over my shoulder at what Eloise was doing. "What? Hey! Put that down! Don't go snooping through my things!" My hand waved at her all irritated now. "Tell me what?" Simon asked curiously. I winced my eyes shut. No, why me? Why me? "Oh, it's nothing. My brother just gave me an open-ended ticket in case I changed my mind and wanted to fly back later." "He did?!" Simon gasped in surprised. I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. "Yeah. As per my contract I can work aboard for up to six months. But it has to be for a good reason. I doubt my supervisor would let me stay in London because "I want to". It doesn't work like that." "So let me get this straight? If you had a legitimate reason to stay in Britain, you would be permitted to do so?" He clarified. Again, I nodded, forgetting he still couldn't see. "And….. what counts as a legitimate reason?" "Oh, I don't know? Conferences, guest events and lectures, research opportunities: basically anything to do with academia. It's really easy to extend your time aboard once you get the green light to stay; it's just getting the green light that's hard." "I see…." Simon cooed thoughtfully.

"Well, anyway, I don't have one. So it looks like I'm going back to Brussels." "Yes, and you should also start getting ready for bed. You have another busy day tomorrow." "Yes, I do," I chuckled, a tad surprised he remembered me telling him that I was taking all the younger kids to see a movie and out to the park tomorrow. "Have a good sleep. Remember to bring lots of water with you tomorrow, and sit down for a little while if you get too lightheaded or hot." I chuckled. "I will, I will. Have fun at the boxing gym. Be careful." "I will. I'll see you on Sunday." "See you on Sunday." "Good night, Daphne." "Good night, Simon." Click! Still holding my phone in my hand, I glanced over to my sister, who was grinning ear-to-ear. "Still think you're "just friends"?" She folded her arms in triumph. I was about to give her a piece of my mind until my phone started vibrating again. Thinking it might be Simon who forgot to tell me something on our last call, my eyes widened at Dr. Pillar's name on the screen.

"Dr. Pillar, hi! Good evening," without hesitation, I answered. She had a habit of calling me much later in the day and always gave an explanation for it. "Hi, Daphne. Sorry for phoning so late. Had to submit all my marks in by seven tonight," see what I mean? "It's fine! It's fine," I didn't want her to think I was annoyed or anything though; I wasn't! It sounded like she was shuffling through some papers on her end. "Have you gone through the revisions I sent you?" "Yes! And I've made all the changes you've recommended. It's all ready for you to take another look at- if you have time, that is!" "I do. Just send me over everything; I'll have a colleague look at it too. Have you told your supervisor about this yet?" "I have. Dr. Grinds has given me his consent and agreed to write a reference letter when the time comes." "Good. If you send the application in by the end of this month, that should be enough time. They're going to start conducting interviews at the start of June; you'll know when yours is scheduled by the end of May, if you get one."

A smile emerged across my lips. "Thank you so much for helping me with this, Dr. Pillar. I really appreciate it." "Not all at! Just have the application ready to go by the end of the month. It may be a good idea to send Dr. Grinds a copy too." "I will." "Ok then. In the meantime, email me over what you have with your corrections. I'll make another set of notes for you." "Thank you. I'll send the application over as soon as we're done talking." "What application?" Eloise, who had been very quiet up til now, raised her eyebrow. "Get out of my room!" I shouted to her in a whisper, holding my hand over the speaker part of my phone. Too bad it didn't work. I heard my old supervisor chuckle mildly. My face went white.

"I'm so sorry, Dr. Pillar!" "I understand. I had five siblings myself. Never a dull moment with large families." "You can say that again," my eyes rolled tiredly. "Just get your application draft to me. I'll try to have it back to you in a week or so. You'll be back in Brussels by then, won't you?" "Yes. I'll schedule an appointment to go talk about this with Dr. Grinds after I'm back next week." "Good. I wouldn't worry too much, dear. Your research proposal is getting better and you're doing all the right things! With a little more work, it should be ready to fire off. Just keep working hard and stay focused. But don't worry.

Amsterdam would be lucky to have you as a PhD candidate."


	20. Change Of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon joins the Bridgertons out for brunch.

Brunch that Sunday was lovely. We met up at the fancy hotel downtown- I didn't care enough to learn the name- at precisely eleven o'clock. We were brought to a table which seated ten. After taking off our coats and ordering our drinks, we all headed straight to the buffet. And you know me with good food. I was in heaven the moment I saw the array of dishes and desserts. There was everything from a roast-cutting station to a dessert bar. We got in a single file line and grabbed a clean white plate as we entered.

The kids went right to the dessert table first. Course that was on my list, but I wanted something savoury first- and I mean first to pick up, not to eat. Simon and I stayed side-by-side the entire time. Funny; I don't think either of us noticed we were doing it either. None of my family acted like that was anything out of the ordinary. Far from it. We'd constantly tease each other about what the other put on their plate. I gave Simon a hard time for eating what I considered to be too much meat. Seriously! He had like three different kinds his first round. For his part, he thought it was ridiculous to have a slice of black forest cherry cake for breakfast. When all was said and done, our plates were piled high; though mine couldn't match any of the boys, let's be real.

We all sat down at the same time with our food. I sat between Simon at my right and Anthony at the head of the table. Simon and I smiled at one another, then everybody looked to the eldest Bridgerton quietly. He gave us a gentle nod. "So everyone, enjoy." In harmony the nine of us picked up our forks and tucked in. It was a minute or two later, after everyone had had their first few bites, that the conversation started. I wiped my mouth with my napkin and looked at Benedict, who was sitting across from me.

"You'll have to let me know when you get back to Oxford safely," our eyes met for the first time since we got there. Simon also wiped his mouth. "Yes, when do you go back?" He inquired. Benedict swallowed down his mouthful. "Next weekend. I'll be coming out to London every other weekend until the end of term." "Why can't you do that, Daph?" Hyacinth whined. "It's a lot easier to take the train from Oxford than to fly back from Brussels," I explained to her. This disappointed her but she seemed to understand, as shown by the way she gazed back down at her plate.

Simon took a bite of toast and spun his head my way. "What time are you flying out tomorrow again?" "Nine in the morning. Joy," I rolled my eyes. He nodded and turned his stare slightly in Anthony's direction. "I trust you are taking your sister to the airport?" "Yes, along with those three," Anthony motioned the youngest Bridgerton siblings with his fork. Gregory reached across the table to give me a whole strawberry; he was sitting beside Benny. I took it, giving his dear little hand a kiss. Better get all the kisses and hugs in while I can; they're all growing up so fast and I know I shall miss them like crazy! Simon simply observed this, grinning to himself. I didn't his eyes also drop back down to his plate where he picked at his food with his fork.

"Really, Daphne, I'm surprised you're taking off so soon." Of course I blinked over to him, taken aback by this remark. He said it so casually too…. As if reading my mind, the duke mischievously grinned up at me. He spoke again before any of us had the chance to, not taking his stare off me the entire time. "I was just thinking with the massive opportunity you'll be missing here…" His words trailed off in a planned sort of way; he was goading me into talking- which I did. "Opportunity?" My eyebrow lifted.

Without skipping a beat, Simon opened his vest to reveal an interior pocket. We all watched him stoically pull out a folded slip of paper and place it into my hands. Curiosity intrigued, I opened it up to study its contents. From the moment I saw the front page, my eyes got as wide as dinner plates. My hands clenched onto the paper like I was afraid someone might try to snatch it away from me. All thoughts suddenly were directed to this single blessed sheet of printed paper.

Simon had lit the flame, now all he had to do was sit back and let it run its course.

Forgetting we weren't the only ones in the room, my head proceeded to shoot over at my eldest brother. "Anthony, I have to go to this!" Admittedly, my voice was a little too loud; I'm sure I caught the attention of a fair number of diners in the vicinity. Not that Anthony cared. I held up the paper so he could read it aloud. "Occitan: The Metaphysics of Troubadour Lyric Poetry," his finger ran along his chin thoughtfully. "I have to go to this! This is my research! This is my life! This is what my Masters dissertation is all about! I have to go and see this exhibit!" "Where is it?" Eloise asked, stuffing an olive into her face. "Edinburgh, next month," I answered, still grasping the paper tightly. "Edinburgh?" She blinked astonished. Colin rolled his eyes. "You wanna go all the way to Scotland to see some thousand-year-old paper?" "Yes! Who wouldn't?!" And all my six siblings proceeded to roll their eyes unamused.

Anthony sighed, and not in a good way. He leaned back in his chair somewhat reluctantly. "I'm sorry, baby sis, but it's on the same weekend I have booked with the estate attorney to go over Dad's old tax accounts. We've had this appointment for months and with how busy he is, I don't think we can reschedule." I shrugged, completely unphased. "That's fine. I'll go by myself." "You most certainly will not! Flying straight from here to Brussels is one thing; taking the train across the country is another." Never mind that I've taken both the train and bus across country lines back home; not that he knew that. And for this very reason. Oh well; no matter! "Then I'll fly," was my light-hearted solution. But he shook his head. "You think flying's any better? I've seen the area around the airport in Edinburgh. You are not flying out there alone, Daphne. The answer is no."

Benedict took a sip from his tea and cleared his throat. "I can take her." "You?" Anthony's head darted in his direction, though his voice wasn't as objectionable as you might think. That's a good sign! Benny nodded. "Sure! I've always wanted to see the highlands, and I can visit St. Andrews while we're there." "You're supposed to stay with your sister!" Anthony countered in an unconvinced tone. Eloise then slammed her hands down onto the table, grabbing our attention. "Hey! If Benny's going, then I'm going too! I wanna go to Edinburgh too, walk around Princes Street," she said the last part like she was a diva or a princess. The eldest Bridgerton looked to her and sighed. "Benedict can't escort both of you, especially if you want to go trouncing around the country!" Benedict leaned back in his chair, clasping his hands together on his stomach. He flashed Anthony a playful grin. "Awe, come on, bro. She's twenty-four, and a Masters student. What's the worst that can happen?" "It doesn't matter. I don't want you leaving the city while Daphne's at the university." "But I…"

It was around this point I stopped listening to everyone. You'd think I'd be offended or enraged at how my brother was treating me. Quite the contrary. I was happier than a calm staring down at this pamphlet; so incredibly, unspeakably happy. I'm sure I would have found out about this sooner if I wasn't so wrapped up in my PhD application. But who cares?! If I went to this thing, it would show my supervisor I'm taking initiative in my academic career. He'd be so impressed with me, and that would mean a good reference letter. Plus I could add it to my personal statement! All I could see were benefits from this- all which aimed at helping me finish my dissertation with a high grade and getting those PhD interviewee's attention. Yes, only good could come from this. Who cares what price I have to pay? Anthony can throw on all the conditions he wants; I can deal with those. And luckily I know how to get what I want too. Sometimes you have to give to win- and I wanna win! I shifted my chair in such a way to so face my brother right on. He blinked, meeting my solid stare perplexed. My face was a firm and determined as you can get.

"Anthony: if you let me go, I will stay here until the end of July."

That was the perfect amount of time. I would finish up the PhD application, have the interview if I get one, finish my dissertation early, and go back just in time to move to Amsterdam. It would all go according to plan if I played my cards right. And I could get my supervisor on my side- easily so, if I explained all this to him. Now it was just up to my brother, and we all knew what he wanted from me.

Anthony stared at me for a while, not saying anything. But his face said it all. The widest, most elated smile drew across my lips when he shut his eyes and let out the world's longest sigh. He ran his hands over his eyes. When they reopened, he was looking at the duke. "Simon, dear friend. I'm so sorry to ask this of you, but would you mind going with Benedict to escort my sisters up to Edinburgh next month? We'll pay for your hotel room and plane tickets, of course." "Train! I wanna take the train up," Eloise interrupted. Anthony rolled his eyes, completely exasperated. "Train tickets. We'll cover every expense. Still, I know it's a lot to ask. But you would please do me this favour?" We all looked to Simon, who had to cover a grin with his hand. I saw this and immediately smiled myself. Awe, he's so cute when he's happy! Wait, he's happy?

"I think I can manage that," the duke remarked to my brother, then glanced to me. We were grinning at each other when Anthony sighed yet again- this one much shorter. "Alright, baby sis. You may go to Edinburgh this May." "Oh, thank you!" Practically leaping out of my chair, I threw my arms around his neck. Then I flashed Simon a great big smile. "Thank you, Simon!" Eloise did an eager fist pump. "Yes! Edinburgh! Ah, I can't wait!" Benedict also grinned. "Me either. All that whisky," he said before Anthony shot him a monstrous glare.

We pulled our arms off each other and I sat back down, trying not to bounce too much in my seat. Anthony shook his head, finally resigning himself to the idea. "You'll go out Thursday morning. I'll fly out on Saturday and join you before the evening." "We wanna go too!" "Yeah, how come we can't go?!" The two youngest Bridgertons perked up. Anthony gave them a stern expression. "Because you two have school." "Then how come I can't go?" Colin complained. "Because you are going to stay home and keep an eye on our younger siblings," the eldest countered tartly. "What?! How's that fair?! You four get to go frolic around Edinburgh and I'm left with babysitting duty?" "You're staying- that's final! And as for you three: you'd better get permission from your universities for this trip; especially you, Daphne." "Don't worry, big bro. I'll contact Dr. Grinds and the department the moment we get home. Eeeeeeek, I'm so excited! I can't believe I'm going to see actual Troubadour lyrics! How'd you even find out about this?!" My head spun over to Simon. He wouldn't stop smiling. Wouldn't or couldn't? His eyes had this gorgeous twinkle in their corners. "You should know by now I have my ways, Miss Bridgerton." "You most certainly do! Ah, thank you; thank you so much! I have no idea how I can ever thank you enough for this. And now we're going to Edinburgh together! Aren't you excited?!"

And he smiled; that kind of smile that makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside when you see it. The kind of smile that makes you want to cry for reasons you can't understand. The kind of smile that changes you for the better… That kind of smile.

"Yes; yes, I am."


	21. Bonus Chapter: Simon's P.O.V.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a very interesting experience when he wakes up Saturday morning (takes place the day before he joined the Bridgertons for brunch).

Simon's P.O.V.- (Saturday before everyone went out for brunch at the hotel together)

The first conscious thought I remember having that morning is "it's hot"; just "it's hot". I was lying flat on my back with my head turned to the side on one of my many pillows. The room was dark, thanks to the curtains still being closed. It was morning, though I wasn't sure of the time; I didn't set my alarm clock last night.

For a moment, I stayed there unmoving in a half-sleep daze, staring blurrily at the wall. Or I was until I felt this gentle pressure on my chest. Still thoroughly half-asleep, my head shifted in such a way to gaze forward, only for my back to suddenly arch and my hands to clench into fists.

Daphne! Daphne was there in my bed, laying on top of me! She had her head on my lower chest with one arm extended out. Her soft hand rested overtop where my heart was. She was sleeping like a baby, like this was the most naturally normal thing in the world. All I was able to do was to gawk for a sheer second or two, completely forgetting that this was a manifestation dreamed up by my mind. I truly believed that she was there, I was afraid to move so to wake her. My eyes winced shut and when they reopened, and my state of conscious fully alert now, I found myself in bed alone.

I sat up like a shot, glancing all around my room. When there was no sign of anyone, my hand tiredly raised up to cover one of my eyes. What the hell was that?! I've never dreamed of anybody before, never mind imagined them in my room. Something must be seriously wrong with me to dream of… of… The colour drained from my cheeks the longer I thought about it.

Holy shit! Daphne was in my bed! I dreamt of Daphne sleeping in my bed on top of me! Why the hell…?! Is it stress or trauma? Could it be…. sexual influences? My brain immediately gave me a mental hard kick at this. No, course not! We were both fully clothed in our pyjamas; plus, she was just laying on my chest… and nowhere else. And besides, I've never looked at Daphne and thought "I want to bang her" before! It's always been I've looked at Daphne and thought "man, she has the most beautiful smile. Why do I feel so happy… whenever I see that smile?".

My hand lowered and my eyes stared out into nowhere blankly. Nothing like that's ever happened to me before… Why now of all times? It was vivid; I could have sworn she was here in the room with me. The flush of her cheeks, the gentle flutter of her eyelashes, the scent of her hair…. My hand rose up to my chest where Daphne's hand had been.

It still felt warm…

Daphne… I bet this is all your fault! You're just too easy and effortless to be around, and you make me smile for no reason whatsoever. And now you're leaving on Monday… You're going so far away and we won't be able to see each other whenever we want. I won't be able to see you…. My hand still pressed up against my heart balled into a fist.

I shouldn't have told her all that stuff that night at the dance. Now she's going to go to Europe all confused. Or…. is it me who's confused? ["It is easier for us to be protective… and protect you, than to stand by and anxiously watch you do it on your own. What you see as "controlling" I see as solving the problem. I'm not strong enough to look away and to simply trust…. Not anymore."] I cringed inwardly. Oh god, did I really say that? She's going to think I'm some weak-willed idiot! She doesn't understand what I was talking about! Course she doesn't! She just thinks that men want to control her, when in reality…. My train of thought came to a halt. I blinked back up to the shut curtains where the window was and let out a sigh. Well, at least this is proof Daphne and I can never get married. Dad always told me marriage was a necessary evil; nothing but hard work one put up with for offspring.

Nothing about her was "hard".

The only thing that's difficult for me now is dealing with all these unsettled, unbridled emotions. I'm not falling in love with Daphne Bridgerton, am I? No, clearly not. But… Then again, I've never been in love before so I suppose I wouldn't know the symptoms. Not that it matters now, I guess. She's going back to Brussels and I'm going back home soon too. We'll keep in contact, but I don't expect it to go any further than that. Daphne will leave and I'll….. I stopped, my lips opening a sliver. Daphne's leaving…. She's leaving….. This cold chill suddenly ran down my spine.

That's when there was a knock at my bedroom door, making me jump a little. My trusted man servant, Charles Darby, opened it and popped his head in. "Morning, sir." "Erm, m-morning, Charles!" I shuffled the sheets around, trying not to look so dishevelled. Propping the door open with his shoe, Charles then brought in a tray full of breakfast items. As I watched him, my eyes drew over to the glass of water on one side of the tray. I don't know why but it grabbed and furiously held onto my undivided attention. The water sparkled in the sunlight when Charles pulled back the curtains, letting the sun shine into the whole room.

The longer I stared at it, the great this profound feeling overtook me. Water… Cups of water. Heh, that's like her trademark symbol now, isn't it? It was then my gaze lowered onto the glass. Daphne…. ["Mmmmmm, you're right, sir. Sorry I don't recognize you; my brother's never mentioned you before."] Daphne… ["Good, cause I have zero interest in you either. Even if you are a devilishly handsome rouge."] Daphne Bridgerton…. ["I feel like I'm seeing a different side of you- gradually, I mean…. A softer side. We've never opened up and talked to each other like that before, like real friends…."]

Daphne.

"Ready to go, your grace?" Charles spun on his heels to face me. I cleared my throat. "U-Uh, yeah. Erm… Could you contact Professor Louis Brines please?" Charles blinked at me puzzled. "You're old Latin professor from Oxford? Sure, but….. On a Saturday? Whatever for?" "I need to call in a favour. Ask him if he knows of any history conferences or guest talks in the UK for this or next month." "History?" His eyebrow raised. I nodded. "That's right. Specifically Troubadourian history, if he can manage it. But anything focused on the Early Middle Ages should do." Charles faltered a little. "Uh, um, of course, sir. But… um, are you… sure about this? It's quite an imposition on Dr. Brines and you have no interest in history." "Just do it. Let me know what he finds- if anything." "Um, yes; of course, sir. Will there be anything else?" "No. That should be good for now. Thank you, Charles," I sent him a contented grin.

I still have no idea what's wrong with me. But all I know is that the thought of her flying away so soon makes me sick. It's like a thousand pounds on my shoulders, and I can't figure out why. After all, I swore to myself I'd never let myself fall in love. I'd been working on those walls surrounding my heart for years. They can't come crashing down just like that, without so much as making a sound. It shouldn't be possible. But I don't want her to go…. I feel like I'm drowning when her tide washes over me, and I enjoy it far too much. No, I don't want this; I don't like this.

I'm not ready for her to leave yet. Not just yet.


	22. People Should Think They're In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon joins the Bridgerton siblings for an afternoon out.

'Thus, it would seem that Miss Daphne Bridgerton has elected to stay here in London for the foreseeable future. Why one would forgo Belgium in the glorious springtime is indeed a compelling query. One must wonder what is so attractive so to keep her attention? Though if I was to hazard an innocent guess, it would involve a certain duke who is often seen with the young heiress. In fact, the two seem quite enamoured with one another, making sure to talk and visit at every gala. It is no wonder polite society keeps linking her name with his. It helps matters not that a sigh can be heard from this season's diamond of the first water's lips when she gazes at the duke, and naturally he looks so vain with her. They should be careful,

People should think they're in love.'

"Hey, Daph? Wanna hear what Lady Whistledown tweeted about you this morning?" "I most certainly do not! I told to stop following him; it's creepy." Unphased, Eloise flashed me a clever smirk. "Mmmmmm, you sure? I think you'd find it really interesting." "No! Stop wasting your time with that and pay attention to your family," I huffed.

It was the end of April; May was just around the corner. Anthony started really getting ready for tax season approaching, so he'd been preoccupied with that. I'd just submitted my PhD application in last weekend and was thoroughly mentally exhausted. Consequently, I decided to take some time off to let myself rest until we went to Edinburgh. That was coming up soon- eeeeek! So incredibly excited! Simon and the others seemed excited too.

Being such a nice day out today, we felt it a shame to stay inside. Benedict was back from Oxford for the weekend and wanted to do something outside. Since Anthony was too busy to join us, the seven of us went for a picnic in a big park with a small green field. I invited Simon along, which he happily accepted. He, Eloise, and I were sitting on a picnic blanket underneath a massive oak tree; we liked sitting under trees. Meanwhile our other siblings were playing softball not too far from us. Naturally Colin and Benedict were really into it, while still keeping pace so the younger kids could join in.

Benny hit the ball with a bat, sending it flying into the distance. Wearing this gigantic grin, his head spun around to us. "See that, Eloise? That's how it's done!" "Yeah, whatever. I could have hit it further," she shouted back. "Oh yeah?" His eyebrow raised playfully. "Yeah! Let me show you!" My sister got up to march over and snatch the bat from him. While they were busy with that, I looked at Simon with a grin.

"Hmmmm, no one ate any of the food I made." "Well you said so yourself: you can't cook," he smirked back at me. I laughed. "That's true. Maybe I should just buy sandwiches next time." "Or I could make us something," Simon shrugged. "You?" "Why not?" "Heh, I have my reservations. Have you ever even turned on the stove before? I doubt you can cook any better than I can." He laughed too, giving his head a shake. "You're probably right."

Our eyes then met; this warm spring breeze rolling over us, brushing our hair out in the air. I brought my knees up into my chest, hugging them in a relaxed fashion. "Looking forward to our trip to Edinburgh? It's coming up soon." "Oh yes, very excited. I've never travelled so far by train alone." "Really?" "Yes. I'm glad my first time will be with you." "Really?" I asked again in a softer, shyer tone. He nodded. "At least I know I won't be bored." "Yeah, me either. I'm really glad you're coming, Simon." "Me too, Daphne. Me too…."

"Hey, Simon! You coming up to bat or what?! It's your turn, you know!" Colin made us both flinch with his loud shouting. With a contented sigh and smile, Simon stood up. His eyes gazed down at me one last time. "Well, here I go." My lips smiled back up at him in a tender fashion. "Alright. Knock it outta here!" Still grinning, Simon went over to the imaginary base; my siblings were using napkins as markers on the ground. Benny handed him the bat, and everyone got into position. I watched, resting my chin happily on my kneecaps.

Unsurprisingly, the duke hit the ball the first time Colin threw it at him. My siblings cheered all impressed. The first thing Simon did after hitting the ball was to look back my way. "You see that, Daphne?!" You could hear the exhilaration in his tone. Awe! It was adorable; in some ways he was a grownup adult man, but glimmers of his inner child could be seen from time to time. Thank goodness I was around to see it.

My hands clasped together in a show of my own thrill for him. "Uh huh! Wouldn't miss it for the world!" We grinned at each other, forgetting that others were watching for a second. Eloise's mischievous, knowing grin returned to her face. "Fall in love with him again?!" She hollered out with such ease. "Ye-….! Hey, Eloise!" I answered without consulting my brain first. Realizing what I almost just said, my cheeks turned a glowing red. It didn't help that Simon was still looking at me- everyone was now. But I don't think my siblings took it as such a big deal, carrying on with their game right away. I stayed quiet the rest of the time, watching from the side lines. If what I…. er, Eloise said bothered him, he wasn't showing it. Far from it. He was running about with my siblings, laughing and playing with them. He helped Gregory swing the bat and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Simon was smiling now too. One of those true smiles which come from deep down inside when you're really enjoying yourself. It made me so happy to see him interact and have such fun with my family. It was honestly like he was becoming one of us- he fit in that well. And the fact that he genuinely liked being around them… and me. We love having him around too; I certainly do. He's so easy to be around… so easy to like. My head tossed back, my eyes shutting as I breathed in the spring sunshine. This sincere grin crossed my lips on its own accord. Maybe this was the right choice, after all…. Maybe I was meant to stay in the UK a bit longer.

Just a little longer.


	23. How Not To Gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne goes shopping for a special present for Simon.

"Alright, here's some money. Go to the candy store; I'll meet you there in a minute," I gave my two youngest siblings some pound notes and urged them toward the sweet shop. We were at the mall doing some last-minute shopping. Or rather, I was doing some last-minute shopping; they wanted to come and I couldn't say no. Though I had the sneaking suspicion that they were after treats and goodies. Fine by me; gives me an excuse to get some too.

Hyacinth and Gregory scurried off and, after checking that they were out of sight, I snuck into the nearby jewellery store. I'd racked my brain for the last few days trying to think of something to surprise Simon with on the trip. After all, I wouldn't be going to Edinburgh if it wasn't for him. I wanted to thank him with a special gift. But to be honest, I'd never bought a present for a man I was related to, and I think they had to like it on principle; or at least pretend they like it. Simon was different- I really wanted him to like whatever I got for him. It's so hard to know with men though! They like masculine things, but I have no idea of what those sorts of things are or would be. Pens, maybe? Simon always gets me such personalized surprises; I wanted to do the same for him. Mmmmmm, he likes boxing. I had thought perhaps some sort of boxing paraphernalia, but… Oh, I don't know. I was looking for something a little more….. intimate and personal.

I entered the store, feeling a bit like a little girl tiptoeing into her mother's sacred closet. I never wore any jewellery and never shopped for any before- certainly not for myself. This was more Eloise or Francesca's scene, whereas I felt more comfortable in bookstores and candy shops. This was like entering a brand-new world for me, and not the good kind. Everything was clean and sterile, and there was the polished glass everywhere. It was intimidating, being in such a place like this. It didn't help either that I didn't look at all like any of the workers or other patrons, who were dripping in diamonds and gold and other such nonsense. And here I was with my undergrad university sweatshirt and pink converses on.

I'm pretty sure the saleslady spoke to me because I was standing around looking awkward. It took a good minute or two before she acknowledged my presence in the shop. "May I help you?" She didn't sound as rude as I was anticipating but still not overly happy to be dealing with me. I blinked, shovelling my shoes and trying my best not to seem like a total idiot. My mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. "Erm, I'm looking for…. manly jewellery? Something… a man would wear," my voice was as cringy as you're currently imagining. Luckily for me, the lady didn't care. Her face lit up a little when she realized I wasn't there for myself.

"Oh! Wonderful! What do you have in mind exactly? Looking for a ring or…?" "No! I mean no…. Um, w-what else do men wear? Like a friendship bracelet or something." "A bracelet? We have plenty of those. Actually, we just got in this new male version of a charm bracelet." "Really?" This nabbed my attention. The saleslady brought me over to the men's corner- the really small one in the back, I might add- and directed my gaze to a collection of bands. They were just plain bands without any charms on them; I guess those came separate. She took a few out to show me.

"This one's solid gold, this one's silver, this one is white gold, and this one is platinum." "Mmmmmm, which one's your most popular?" I have no clue about any of this sort of thing. "The platinum," she replied. "And do… a lot of men wear these?" I continued to inspect them ponderingly. "Oh, yes. They're very popular." "How popular?" She looked at me for a second. "Well, let's just say a lot of guys I follow on Instagram have one." "Sounds good to me," Eloise would say what's on Instagram is the height of modern fashion trends. If it's trending on social media then it must be at least a little common.

The saleslady took out the platinum band and handed it to me. I gave it a thorough once over. Perfectly clean and neat; I could see Simon wearing this. "And what charms do you have for this? How do they attach?" "They slide on. They don't dangle or anything; just rest on the band itself. We have a large assortment of charms. Which kind were you thinking of?" "I don't… really know?" I answered truthfully, forgetting about the boxing idea momentarily. She nodded. "Is this for your boyfriend or fiancé?" "No! N-No, he's my uh… my friend. I don't really know what to put on here; we're going on a trip together and I wanted to get him something. I just… oh wait! Do you boxing glove charms or something?" She blinked. "Boxing gloves? Yes, I believe we have that charm. A pair, I take it?" "Yes please." "Just those two." "Yes. That's perfect." "Great. I'll get that ready for you," she took the band back and went to go attach the charms.

The bracelet was all wrapped up in this cute little box; I asked for the manliest colour they had. I'm sure Simon wouldn't mind getting a bracelet- not if other men wear them. Plus he can add more charms to it! This was all very exciting. Or at least it was until I pulled out my card to pay. The saleslady rang me up and told me the amount. I put my card down on the counter for some reason still unknown to me. She saw the name on it and glanced up to me with big eyes. "Wait… You're not… Daphne Bridgerton? The Daphne Bridgerton? The Daphne Lady Whistledown is always tweeting about?"

I can't tell you how cold my blood ran just then. I wasn't looking at her, rather I was staring down into my backpack as I was routing around for something; probably my phone to check if my siblings had called me. All I could do was gawk forward, unable to move.

Profound regret suddenly permeated my every cell. This intense hatred of being a "somebody", of living on display in high society filled me to the brim. Now I remember why I wanted to move away for school. It wasn't just to experience independence and true freedom for the first time in my life. It's because I absolutely detested being on constant exhibit. I loved my identity as a nobody in Europe, and I'd forgotten how much I truly missed it. I missed no one writing about me behind my back online or knowing my name when I came into a place. I missed it… I missed it.

Things only got worse when her face lit up with this pure exhilaration, like she suddenly knew my life story. "Are you buying this for the duke of Hastings?! Is that who you meant by "your friend"?!" Oh god, I hate this; words cannot describe how much I hate this. I have a real moral problem with lying- unless it's undeniably convenient. This, I could easily argue, was one of those times. I straightened up and forced the most innocent grin I'd ever put on display in my life, trying to look as innocuous as humanly possible. "No, sorry. You've got the wrong Daphne Bridgerton," I lied through my teeth. She seemed confused by this. "You're not that Daphne Bridgerton? The heiress the of Bridgerton fortune?" "No, that's not me. I'm not from London. I'm from… far away. Tiny village, you wouldn't have heard of it." "But you're shirt….?" She pointed to my university shirt. "A-A gift! From a friend who does live in London. But not the same friend I'm getting the bracelet for. He's back in… home, where I'm from," god, could I have sounded more pathetic? It would be a miracle if she believed me.

Thankfully- by some divine intervention- she did believe me! Her head nodded, like she tried to grasp her mistake. She eventually gave me an embarrassed modest grin. "Sorry about that. Mistook you for someone else." "That's ok," I snatched back my card and the bag now housing the package. To my surprise, she actually let out a sigh like she was disappointed. Then she smiled back at me; a much more natural one this time. "Do you follow Lady Whistledown on Twitter?" "No, I can't say I do…." You couldn't pay me enough to follow that stalker. She sighed wistfully. "You have the same name as this really rich girl; she's going to school in Brussels." "Is she now?" How do all these strangers know so much about me?! I don't even have social media! It took everything I had to continue acting casual, even though inside I was melting. Another sigh left her lips. Then, to my dismay, she leaned in a tad closer to me, grinning slyly.

"Thought she might be buying that for the duke of Hastings; they've become fast friends. Though everyone knows that they're more, if you get what I mean." I frowned, completely unimpressed. Really? Did she think it good employee practice to stand here and gossip with me about someone she thought I didn't know, who is actually me?! If anything, this is solid proof why you should never gossip, especially with strangers. You never know who they really are. Still, I decided to play dumb, not wanting to blow my cover. "Oh, I'm sure they're just friends if they say they are." "Yeah right; you should the deets Whistedown posts. Can't wait to see how jealous Simon gets when Prince Friedrich enters the scene." "Prince who?" I blinked unfamiliar with that name; not that it mattered, I'm sure. She looked at me. "Oh right, you don't follow her. Word has it that this rich royal guy's coming to London in early June." "Oh," I had no interest in that. Prince whatever-his-name-is arrival doesn't affect me in the slightest, I'm sure.

The saleslady nodded like she was waiting for new episodes of her favourite drama programme. "Ah, who knows? Maybe Daphne will smarten up and sink her teeth into the duke before he gets here." "Excuse me?!" I gasped, accidently nearly blowing my cover. Her smile merely widened, however. "Well have you seen him? He's what Adonis wishes he could be. Ah, if I ever had a "friend" like him, I'd nab him so fast." "Oh, I'm sure… she's happy with life just the way it is." "I doubt it. Who could be content with just "being friends" with a beefcake like the duke? But she's not the one who should be worried of the pair." "Oh?" My eyebrow rose. She nodded, giving herself over to the "tea" completely now. "Well yeah; I mean, it's kinda obvious- according to Lady Whistledown, that is. Simon should be the one trying to get his claws into her.

There's a lot more eyes looking her way apparently."


	24. But You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne gives Simon his gift.

"And bring us back something!" "Yeah! Something Scottish!" "I'll come back with armfuls of presents," I gave Hyacinth, Francesca, and Gregory all a hug. They'd all come to see us off at the rail station, save Colin who stayed home; I think he was salty about not being able to come. We'd found the right platform and waited as a group for the train doors to finally open- they always waited until the last ten minutes or so before departure. We were by far the largest cluster of people on the platform, which was embarrassing but also nice. I kept hugging my younger siblings, promising them lots of treats and pictures from Edinburgh.

The train doors eventually slid open, and Simon and Benedict loaded all our bags onboard. I gave our three youngest siblings one last group hug and straightened up to face Anthony. The look on his face indicated he still had reservations about the whole thing. The whistle to board blew and we smiled at one another.

"Be sure to call first thing when you get to Edinburgh," my eldest brother said in a tender tone. "I always do. Don't worry, Anthony; everything's going to be fine." Anthony then turned to Benedict, who was a lot more casual about the affair. "Now I'm expecting you to be the responsible one and keep an eye on everything. Be there for your sisters when and if they need you." "I know, I know; I will. You've told me a billion times already," Benny rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, Benedict. It's your responsibility," Anthony's eyes sharpened. "Then why's Simon comin' along?" Benny's hand flung up in his direction. Simon looked their way and grinned, already amused with the crazy situation. The oldest Bridgerton also glanced to Simon with an expression of gratitude. "Thank you again for this, Simon. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." "Not at all! I've been quite looking forward to it, actually. It'll be nice to visit Scotland again." "With company," Eloise added, earning an elbow to the ribcage from me.

The whistle blew again which meant it was time to go. Simon and Anthony shook hands, and the older siblings said goodbye to the younger. Anthony and I embraced each other, and he gave my shoulders a familial squeeze. "Be careful," he told me with a hint of concern. "I will." "I'll see you all on Saturday night, baby sis." "See you Saturday night, big bro." We then all clambered onto the train. Our seats weren't difficult to find. We set down our bags and waved at Anthony through the window. Eloise wanted to walk the rest of the train and simply demanded that Benny join her. Not that I had any reservations. Perfect timing, actually; with them gone it gave Simon and I a moment alone. We sat down at the four-person table on the right side of the cart. Simon sat beside me- allowing me to have the window seat- and gazed around ponderingly. "Hmmmm, it's a nice train. This is be a smooth ride," he noted out loud. While he was preoccupied with that, I took the opportunity to open my backpack and take out Simon's gift. He blinked in surprise when I held it out for him.

"What's this?" The duke inquired. "Just something to say "thank you"." "For what?" He blinked. My shoulder shrugged. "For everything. I just hope you like it; I'm not really good at picking out gifts for guys." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that," he took the box from me. "Huh?" I didn't really understand what he meant by this. He grinned at me. "I'd love anything from you," Simon said with such ease, such naturalness. I'd be blushing if I wasn't eager for him to open his present.

Simon pulled back the wrapping, looked at me for a second, then opened the box. His eyes lit up, which I wasn't sure was a good or bad sign originally. But all doubt melted away at the sight of his jaw dropping. "You…. bought this… for me?" "Ah, i-it's ok if you don't like it. I-I wasn't sure if men like you wear jewellery, and I thought…." "It's prefect." "What?" My eyes gazed back to his face slightly puzzled. "I love it! It's even got little boxing gloves. Is it…?" "Uh, platinum. It's pretty popular from what I hear." "Well indeed. Let's try it on," he began to very gently take it out. "What? Now?" "Sure. It does no good sitting in the box."

I watched the duke take the bracelet and after setting the empty box down onto the table, tried to secure it to his wrist. He struggled to fasten the clasp. "Here, let me," I took the liberty to do it for him. It was an innocent enough thought at first but by the time it was on, we were both blush- or at least I was. Simon examined it every which way on his wrist, his grin growing with every twist and turn. "Fits like a glove." "Heh, it has boxing gloves. You can get more charms for it. It's like the male version of a charm bracelet," I explained. Our eyes met again; his lowering in the corner. "You know, this is the first piece of jewellery anyone's ever gotten for me." "Really?!" I don't know why that surprised me so much. No one ever bought me jewellery before, except for maybe Grandfather when I was a very little girl. Simon's head gave a light, single nod. Then that beautiful smile of his returned in full force. "Thank you, Daphne. It looks rather well!" "It does look good on you," I agreed.

Simon chuckled softly. "Now I feel bad I don't have something for you." "Oh no! No, Simon; you've done more than enough. I'm just so happy we're going to Edinburgh together. I know it shall be much more fun with you there." He chuckled a second time. "Well, I don't know about that." "Don't worry; I do." We looked at each other for a minute, smiling the whole time. Simon's hand ran along his bracelet before pressing his palm down onto it. His eyes moved between it and me, landing on me. "I'm going to keep this, Daphne." "I want you to. Think of it as a friendship bracelet." "It most certainly is. Now whenever I look at it, I'll think of you and how lucky I am…." "S-Simon!" My eyes widened. His smile blossomed in its corners. "It's true, Daphne. I've never felt this way… I guess I've always had my defences up with everyone else. But you…. But you.

You're the first person who's ever made me feel more "me" before."


	25. On The Train To Edinburgh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne, Simon, Benedict, and Eloise all take the train to Edinburgh.

The train ride was the most fun I'd ever had. Simon and I sat side by side the whole way to New Castle, with Eloise and Benedict opposite us. We watched the scenery, told stories, ate sweets, and played Uno- though you know how competitive my siblings get. By the time the train came to a halt at New Castle station, we were all ready to stretch our legs.

Every train passing into Scotland has to transfer at New Castle. Don't ask me why; I couldn't tell you. Not that it was a bad thing though. I think we were all relieved to have a break and stand up for a bit- get away from all that stale air anyway. Plus I like New Castle rail station very much.

We all got off and checked our tickets. Benny kept looking between his and board overhead, trying to make heads or tails of things. Unfortunately for us there were three trains headed to Edinburgh, and they don't like it if you grab the wrong train. My brother scratched his head perplexed- it wasn't clear which one we were supposed to take.

"Erm, which one is ours?" He asked no one in particular. We all studied the rail board. "I don't know. What time is our train supposed to be leaving?" I also asked to anyone. "I thought four o'clock, but… none of these trains leave at four," Benny's head cocked a little. "Maybe I should go find someone," Simon offered. "Good idea! I'll stay with the stuff," our brother chimed. Eloise perked up a bit.

"Is there enough time for a Starbucks run?" "You wanna leave the station now? We don't even know what platform we're supposed to go to," poor Benny sounded exasperated; it was usually Anthony who dealt with details like these when the family went out. The rest of us just came along for the ride. But Eloise's coffee quest would not be deterred. She pulled at his arm. "Oh, come on. Starbucks is right across the road; I googled it before we arrived. Please? This'll be our last stop before Edinburgh, and I want a decent coffee." "You can get something at the stand." "I said a "decent coffee"," her eyes rolled.

Benny huffed then checked the time on his phone. Even if our train did leave at four- which none present on screen did- that'd still give us half an hour. He knew he didn't have a legitimate reason to say no. With a reluctant sigh, he relented. "Fine. But straight there and straight back. We don't know when we're leaving." "It won't be for a while. Stop worrying," Eloise countered. "Get me an iced white chocolate mocha, venti," he ordered. Our sister visibly winced. "Ew! How can a relative of mine have such bad taste? Come on, Daph." I blinked, previously not really engaged in their conversation. I was still busy minding the board with Simon. She waved her hand in my direction. "You need to help me carry the drinks." "But I don't want anything," I countered. "They have hot chocolate." "….. I'll come. You want anything, Simon?" I then hollered out to him. "A lemon bar crème Frappuccino please," he called back. "A what?" Was all I had time to ask before Eloise yanked me by the wrist to follow her. "Come straight back!" Were Benny's last words to us. Simon took off to find some assistance soon after we left.

Of course the Starbucks across the road had to be super packed. It took forever to order our drinks and even longer to get them. The store was jammed pack so there was nowhere for us to sit; Eloise and I stood by the window facing the rail station where we could see everything. I kept anxiously checking the time on my own phone, half-expecting our brother to call demanding to know what was taking so long any minute. He didn't call.

I was in the middle of peaking at the time on my screen when Eloise dropped a bombshell. She was watching my face as she said it, so to gauge my reaction I'm sure. "So, this exhibition at the University of Edinburgh…. It wouldn't have anything to do with that application you've been working on, would it?" I nearly dropped my phone. The look of horror I gave her was palpable. She smirked, but not as maliciously as you would think. More like a "gottcha" sort of expression. My face, however….

"How did you….?!" "I have ears, Daph. You were talking about it with your old supervisor." I cursed myself for not getting a lock on my bedroom door. How stupid can I get?! Course Eloise saw fit to continue. "What's it for?" "Nothing! Well, nothing you need to worry about." She looked at me hard for a second. Her eyes flared with realization. "It's for PhD, isn't it? Gasp! It is a PhD application?! Does Anthony know?" "No! And no, it's not. It's just… something I've been working at for a while. Look, it probably won't amount to anything anyway! Just don't tell anyone else, please. It's just… easier this way," I was practically begging her. Everyone in my academic sphere knew about the application- no one else did, and I wanted to keep it that way. She looked at me for a moment, as if she was deciding what she ought to do with this new information. I knew my secret was safe- for the moment anyway- when she smiled; a real smile this time. "Don't worry. It'll stay between us. But what are you going to do? If it is for PhD, I mean…" "I don't know; I haven't thought that far yet. But….. I'm not going to worry about it; not now anyway," I don't even have an interview scheduled, after all.

We returned with four oversized drinks with time to spare. The train pulled up right as we were all finishing our beverages. Like before, Simon and Benny loaded everything on, and we piled onboard the cart. This train was smaller and blue; I missed our old train. Growing tired by this point, we switched positions. There was no more games or loud chatter; we were all pretty knackered. Eloise and I sat on one side of the table with my sister taking the window seat. Simon and Benny sat across from us.

I'm not sure quite when, but at some point both my sister and I fell asleep, leaning up against each other. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness; the rocking of the train helped lull me back to sleep each time. Neither of the boys slept, though they were quiet, and not just for our sakes I'm sure. They were talking in hushed tones when I woke up next. I'm positive that they were under the impression I was still fast asleep like Eloise. Otherwise I doubt they would have said what they did. I couldn't see their expressions because my eyes remained closed but I could hear them well enough. They were talking about Simon's deceased father when I reawoke for what felt like the millionth time.

"I never did give you my condolences on your dad's passing," that was Benedict. "It's fine. Happened almost six months ago. His affects are all sorted out now," this was Simon. Funny, he always talked about his father so coldly. I already had the notion in my head that he and his father were likely not on good terms. He certainly hadn't disclosed any details to me to make me think otherwise.

There was a brief pause, where I imagined Benny to be nodding. "It's hard….. losing a father. Anthony was distraught when Dad died." "Mmmmm, my loss was not so hard to bear, I'm sad to say." "I'm sorry, Simon. I never met your dad, but my brother said he was quite a character." "Quite a character indeed. I know what they say about your father, but at least he loved his kids. That gives him immense virtue in my eyes." Simon….

I next got the tingling sensation that they were both looking at us, whom they still believed to be fast asleep. Benny let out a chuckle. "Dad did love us, but not equally, I'm afraid. I'm sure you already know this, but Daphne was his favourite." "Favourite child. I heard that you were the favourite son," Simon gently corrected. Benny chuckled again. "Heh, that's true. But she was still his "golden child". You're right about what they said about Dad, and Grandpa, for that matter. They were social-climbers; kinda painfully obvious when you look at the will. Of course, the estate had to be entailed to Anthony, him being the eldest son and all. But Daphne…. Grandpa used to come over and admonish Dad for her behaviour when we were young. Too "unlady-like" he said. Both of them saw Daphne as their ticket up in society. You know, that whole "marrying your daughter up the rank" sort of nonsense. The will was designed to see that through…. Even at the expense of the six of us."

There was another short pause. I heard Simon take an audible breath. "So…. the clause on her PhD trust fund, then….?" I'm sure Benny nodded his head at this. "Call it "insurance". She made the colossal mistake of telling Dad that she wanted a PhD more than anything before he died. That went against everything she was raised for… all their hopes and dreams for her. So, Dad being Dad, amended his will and made Anthony swear to him to see Daphne married… before she turned thirty, respectively."

Yet another lull in the conversation. "So that's why….?" "Yes. He's drags her to all these balls and parties just to show her off, since she has absolutely zero interest in finding her own husband," Benny said with a hint of irony. Simon chuckled. "Yes, she's made that quite clear," he agreed. "Well, it's the same for you, isn't it? You don't wanna get married. Anthony says you've been like that since university." "Mmmmmm, it's true. I have no desire to get married- ever." "Why? Don't think you'll ever fall in love?" Benny questioned. Another low chuckle befell Simon's lips.

"Love… Love has nothing to do with marriage; not at our level of society anyway. That's one view your father and mine had in common, though they thought end goals were different. Marriage is solely for procreation, Dad always told me. He never loved my mother…. I've never witnessed that kind of love before; the kind you see in movies," Simon explained. "Mmmmm, yeah; makes sense. Dad never fell in love either; he only ever loved us…. And Daphne- Daphne was his whole world. She'll be the first one of us to get married, which should make Dad happy… beyond the grave."

I lost track how many pauses there'd been so far, but here was another one. "But… there's no prospects yet? Like serious prospects?" I detected a hint of concern in Simon's tone. "Hmmmm? Oh, no! No, not yet. It's weird. Anthony says he wants her to get married, but he never really considers anyone. He shows her off in society but then wards anyone away who shows even the slightest interest in our sister. I don't think this is what Dad had in mind… Personally, I just think he's the one who's not ready for Daphne to get married," Benedict added some wit to the end of his sentence. Simon sighed. "Well, let's not take it as a bad thing. She should take her time… getting married." "Mmmmm, but time is something she doesn't have a lot of," Benny objected. "What do you mean?" "Remember the clause? If she wants to go to PhD anywhere in the next six years, she better get a ring on it."

The duke scoffed. "That's hardly a reason to get married." "It's better than trying to nab a title. But that was the whole point of the clause," I'm sure my brother shrugged. Simon scoffed again. "Well thankfully, Daphne's smart enough not to enter some hollow marriage just for the sake of a PhD." "Mmmmm, you sure about that?" Benedict didn't sound so confident. "You don't think so?" "My sister's wanted a PhD more than anything for as long as I can remember. I think that as much as she hates the idea of marriage, she loves her academic goals more. Now, I hope she's not forced into something she detests for the sake of her education." "Anthony wouldn't let that happen, would he?" Simon sounded scandalized. "I doubt it. But you never know… Unlike us, she has conditions she has to live with, both health and monetary-wise. I have a feeling if marriage is what it takes, she'll do it. She may not like it, but she'll do it," Benny sighed gravely.

Yet another dark pause set in- this one much heavier than the last. "You said… she has no offers yet?" Simon finally broke the tense silence. "None that I know of; and trust me, we would know. Anthony wouldn't keep something like that to himself." "So then it's a moot point. She can't get married if no one's asks her," call me crazy, but Simon sounded a bit relieved just there. There was this quiet moment where I think Benny was looking at Simon, mulling over what he'd just said to himself. I think my brother was starting to put the pieces together- much faster than either of us were.

"You seem relieved by that, Simon. Why? Why do you care? You said you're never going to get married." "I care for your sister's happiness. That's all," Simon quickly defended himself. "So do I, and definitely Anthony does. But… she is going to have to get married someday." "Someday being the key word. She's not ready yet," the duke said with certainty. "Isn't that for Daphne to decide?" Benedict asked him. "She's already told me that she doesn't want to get married- end of story. I'm sure….. when the time comes, she'll be good and ready… whenever that may be. But I'm quite certain it's a long way off. She hasn't even finished Masters yet." "She'll be graduating this year." "Daphne can't possibly find a husband in between now and then." A final moment of silence fell over the pair. I swore I could feel Benny's hidden smile from across the table. "What if she already has?" He inquired in a sly fashion. Simon snorted. "Well, I couldn't imagine who that would be." I'm one hundred percent sure Benny was smiling ear-to-ear right now facing the duke.

"I can."


	26. That First Night Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne and Simon stay behind at the hotel that first night.

I was starting to feel lightheaded by the time we exited the train in Edinburgh's Waverly Station. We took a taxi to our hotel right in the middle of downtown. Granted, the four of us could have walked there but we were all getting tired. Benedict went to the front desk to check us all in. While he was busy with that, we stood off to the side. I was breathing a bit heavier than normal since it caught Simon's attention. He looked at me with mild concern.

"You alright, Daphne? You've been awfully quiet since the train pulled up." I didn't even bother to try and give Simon a fake reassuring smile. My eyes kept facing forward as I focused on my breathing. A quick check of my pulse reaffirmed my suspicions. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired…." Both Eloise and the duke were looking at me when Benny came back with our room cards.

"Here we are! Four room keys. Eloise is on Daphne's right and Simon's sandwiched in between us….. Hey, you ok, sis? You're looking a little pale," our brother finally noticed my flushed face. There was no point in mincing words with him; I looked him straight in the eye. "I need to lay down, Benny." "Oh… Oh! Wait, is this cause of your condition? Do you have a fever?" My overly-anxious brother put his hand to my forehead right there in the lobby. I cringed, knowing we weren't the only ones present. Still, I knew why he was acting like this. If Anthony was here, he'd be laid back and let him deal with everything. But we all knew who Anthony'd destroy should anything happen to me. It didn't help that it was painfully obvious Benny had no actual idea what he was doing and merely mimicking what he saw our brother do. He didn't take care of Dad in his last year either- only Anthony and I really knew what was going on.

His eyebrows set in. "Hmmmm, I can't tell if you're warm." "Oh, for god's sake, Benny; stop it. I'm fine; I just need to have a little rest, that's all," I pushed his hand away from my face. "Ok well here's your room card. Let's go all get settled in," he then led us to the elevators. Simon didn't say a thing the whole time but he stayed very near my side until we got to the hotel room doors on the first floor.

Eloise entered her own room and both Benny and Simon joined me in mine first. We all glanced around. "Nice, very nice," Simon noted, allowing me to hear his voice for the first time in minutes. Benny approached my side. "Now just lay down and…. do whatever it is you need to do for this…. thing. Did you bring your digital thermometer?" "Yes, bro. Don't worry about me! I got this," I rolled my eyes. His sharpened. "Don't worry? Don't worry?! You know who Anthony will blame if you go unconscious?" "But that's not gonna happen. This happens all the time, Benny; it's just something I have to live with. I'll be fine after I drink some water and have a rest." My brother didn't look convinced, and neither did Simon for that matter. They were about to say more before Eloise burst my room door open. Out of everyone, she was acting the most gleeful.

"Alright?! Everyone settled in? Let's go!" "Go? Go where?" Benny's eyebrow raised in her direction unsure. "Duh! Out to see the city! Edinburgh's so pretty a night! Plus I'm starving. There's a sushi place on Princes Street I saw on the way in I wanna try." Our brother simply shook his head. "I don't think we should go out tonight. Daphne's not feeling well and I should stay…." To our surprise, the duke cut him off by lifting his hand up into the air. He smiled- also for the first time since we got here.

"Why don't you go out with your sister?" "What?! But what about….?" Benny sounded surprised, or he did until Simon shook his head. "Don't worry, I'll stay here with Daphne." "Oh no, Simon! You don't have to do that. She's my sister. You go and I'll stay." "No, really; it's fine. I don't mind. Plus I'm a little tired myself; be nice to go to bed early, seeing as we have a long day tomorrow," the duke explained.

Benny's eyes drifted between me and him, still somewhat reluctant. I don't think he minded the idea of leaving Simon and I alone together; I think he felt guilty of going out and enjoying himself while the duke's stuck here in his hotel room. When Simon flashed him a convincing smile, he turned my way. "You ok with this, Daph?" "Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" I glanced to Simon. Benny shrugged. "Well, alright then. Just get some rest, and drink lots of water, and let me know if you start seeing stars or whatever it is you see." "I will, I will. Go and enjoy your sushi, you guys. Have a good time!" "Want us to bring you back anything?" Eloise inquired. "No, I think it's too late for me. Simon?" "Same. We'll eat breakfast together tomorrow," he said. "Alright then, see you in the morning," they called out before leaving. "See you in the morning," I chimed back.

The door closed behind them, leaving Simon and myself in the room. We looked at each other, a grin naturally appearing across our lips. "Well! Here we are…." "Here we are," he chuckled back. "Thanks again for coming, Simon." "Would you stop thanking me? I want to be here, Daphne." Him saying this only deepened my smile. Simon… He always knew what to say at the best of times. And this was not the best of times.

I don't think Simon has ever witnessed anything bad concerning my condition but he was about to on our trip. All the blood suddenly rushed from my head, causing me to be supremely dizzy. He watched with horror as I collapsed onto the bed. I didn't fall or anything, and was still sitting upright, but it was clear that I didn't intend to do that. He hurried over to my side while my hand came up to my very light forehead.

"Hey! Are you alright?!" "Nugh, I'm just lightheaded. That's all," it gets worse when I'm tired, and the lack of electrolytes today didn't help matters. "Here, lay down," Simon stood at my bedside as I did as I was told. I did feel a bit better once I was in a vertical position. My gaze wandered back up to his worried expression and I smiled. "It's not dangerous. Well, this isn't dangerous. I just need to be a little more careful on this trip."

Simon sucked in his lips in a nervous fashion. "Does this….. happen a lot?" "I wanna say no….. but it's getting worse. The older I get, the more symptoms show up. Daddy was over the age of thirty before he showed any signs." "So this… isn't a good sign, then?" He meant for me, I'm sure. I continued to look at him, eventually grinning. It wasn't a happy grin, more so an understanding grin. "The doctors say it's because I'm female, and slim, and it does run on Daddy's side of the family. The good news is I haven't actually fainted….. yet. That's when the real problems start." He nodded, calming down a little. His eyes drooped downwards to my unclenched hand. "And you're doing… everything in your power to avoid that?" My grin widened in the corners; my eyes lowered. "Yes."

Somewhat satisfied, though obviously not wholly satisfied, Simon clasped his hands behind his back and went to look out the window. There was a terrific view of the castle, which looked so lovely lit up at night. I wanted to say something but couldn't shake the feeling that I should wait for him to talk first next. Turns out I didn't have to wait long, not that I was uncomfortable with the silence. Simon wasn't looking at me when he spoke, just continuing to stare outside like his mind was flying off somewhere. Hopefully somewhere nice… somewhere good.

I didn't like to think of him as being unhappy in any way.

Simon's voice was a little hollow. "I can't imagine what it's like for you. I've always been in peak health. It must be so trying…. Your heart condition, I mean." "Oh, it's not so bad. Could be a lot worse," I brushed it off, perhaps a tad too quick with hindsight. Simon's head shook, him still not glancing my way. "Sometimes I can't understand your father or brother's actions, but other times…" "What?" I blinked confused, not grasping that he was talking about their instance at my marriage. Finally Simon spun around so to face me; he did not look particularly happy just then.

"Be honest with me, Daphne." "Always," I said like it was a given. This made his grin return- somewhat. But don't be mistaken, his expression was still as serious as ever. "Does our being here… have anything to do with you getting into PhD?" This certainly caught my undivided attention, but I knew there was no way he could know about the Amsterdam application. It probably pertained to the conversation I overheard him and Benny have on the train. The one where he sounded relieved that I wasn't getting married any time soon…. I leaned back against the pillows and lowered my eyes with a clever smile.

"Well it definitely doesn't hurt my chances of getting into PhD somewhere." "Why do you even want a PhD? Do you want to teach at a university?" Simon took a step towards me. My shoulder gave a shrug. "Maybe one day, but that's not why I want one." "Then why? Your brother said you've wanted one for as long as he could remember." My grin morphed somewhat into a playful smirk. "Oh, he did, did he?" Heh, this was fun. Well, for me anyway. I wasn't so sure about Simon, who blinked a bit frazzled. "So it's not true, then?" "Oh, no; it's true. I just… I just want one- that's all." A moment of silence fell over us, giving me the chance to gaze up at the white ceiling in a considerate fashion.

"To be honest, I don't know why I want one so badly. Our family has always had everything: land, money, titles. We've never… needed anything. And I don't suppose I "need" a PhD, rather I want one." Simon eyes softened onto me, his head lowering a bit. "And you don't know why?" "Well, I suppose I do. I've never really….. wanted anything that family valued. Money, titles- it really doesn't mean anything to me. All that can be taken away. You never "own" anything; not really. You just….. have it for a certain amount of time, and not a very long time at that. I don't see the point of stuff like that; I've always wanted something that's mine and only mine."

Another pregnant pause ensued. I sucked in a deep breath before continuing. "But that's where education is different; education and experiences. I remember one of my great uncles once told me that "they can take everything from you, except your education". Heh, well I guess that's true until they invent memory-wiping equipment, but you get what I mean. I guess…. a PhD would be mine and mine alone. No one inherits a PhD or can steal it; I'd earn it, and I'll be the first Bridgerton ever in history to do so. Maybe… in a weird way, that's what I want for me. I don't want money or status, even though I was born into and destined to marry for both. But what I really want is something I can call my own, something I choose for me. That's why I want a PhD; that's why I value education so highly. It's mine…. and no man- no husband- will ever take from me."

Simon could only stare for a long time. Eventually his lips parted, his arms moved a little. It was as if he really digested what I've told him, like he's never heard anyone say that before. There was this faint glimmer in the corners of his eyes.

"You know something, Daphne; I don't think I've ever met someone like you before." "I'll take that as a compliment," I giggled, shutting my eyes. "I'm serious. When you speak….. things just suddenly make sense. Though I admit I'm slightly disappointed you still find men so controlling." "No all men, Simon. You're not like that. I've never met anyone like you either before. You're kind and caring and warm…. I feel safe when you're nearby." "Good, I'm glad to hear it; I want to keep you safe. And I don't want to see your wings get clipped either. If you soar in academia, then you should fly." I smiled at him. "It's not that easy. I want to spread my wings, but… there's a string tying me down to earth, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Simon's eyes lowered with the upmost tenderness onto me. "Don't worry. You'll get your PhD; it just may not be right now. You have time, Daphne- don't rush into anything you'll regret. It's not worth it. You have lots and lots of time. You're not going to end up like Edmund- you're going to be around for a very long time," he said the last part of his sentence with positive gravity. It was my turn to gawk at him and smile. This man… This kind, kind man. "I hope you're right, Simon. It doesn't feel like I have a lot of time….." "You do," his own grin widened.

Simon then went to fill up my water bottle and place it on the nightstand beside my bed. He patted the clear space beside it. "Charge your phone here," he instructed. I blinked to him surprised. But he stayed firm. "Keep it close, so you can call me when and if you need me." Simon, my eyes grew a bit. Then this sneaky smile passed my mouth. "Shouldn't I call Benedict?" I asked this with a bit of a mocking tone. He shook his head, his smirk rearing on it. "My room is closer. Don't be afraid to call whenever you need something. I'll keep my phone on beside me all night too, just in case." "Thank you, Simon. You're too good to me." "I'll be the judge of that," he chuckled. I smiled. "But really, I don't want to be a bother to you. You didn't come to Edinburgh to babysit me." "Didn't I?" He asked sarcastically, causing me to send him a smirk. The tenderness in his stare came back in full force after this. "Seriously, Daphne; I don't mind. Anytime day or night, call if you need me…

I will come."


	27. What I Wouldn't Do For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Daphne spend the day in Edinburgh together.

I felt much better the next morning I woke up, but I decided to take my temperature just in case. The thermometer beeped, and my face dropped when I took a look. "Hmmmmm, over thirty-seven. It's a little high." Not a good sign. Still, I decided to ignore it, thinking it would come down later in the day. It wasn't like I had a fever or anything, and I looked perfectly normal.

We had a continental breakfast all together in the hotel's dining room. Anthony called right in the middle of our meal. I answered the phone, speaking to him first. "Say hi to Anthony, everyone," I instructed the table. "Hi Anthony," the three replied simultaneously. After telling him the day's plans and him talking to Benedict briefly, we quickly finished our breakfast and rushed back to our rooms to get ready. I had to get to the university while Benny and Eloise had to catch their ride to the highlands.

"You sure you'll be ok, Daph?" "I'll be fine, bro. Just go and enjoy your day," Benny and I were having this little exchange as the four of us exited the hotel. "We won't be back until around midnight," he told me. I nodded. "That's alright. I'll be back at the hotel by dark." "No going out after dark," he tacked on, making me roll my eyes. "I won't. Now hurry! You're gonna miss your train." "Alright, have fun at the university. And remember to drink lots of water and everything like that. See you tomorrow! Have fun, Simon!" "You too," Simon gave our brother a nod. I waved as he and Eloise ran down the street, leaving just the duke and I there by ourselves again. I grinned up at Simon.

"So, what are you going to do now?" "Huh? What do you mean?" He blinked down at me surprised. "I don't expect you to come to the exhibition with me. You should go enjoy your time here!" Simon spun in such a way so to face me directly. His hands were clasped behind his back in his usual casual fashion again. "Miss Bridgerton, I did not come all this way to abandon you in this city." "You're not abandoning me! You know where I am; I won't leave the university. I just don't want you to get bored, which I'm afraid might happen… if you come with me," I hesitated a little at the end of my sentence. He let out a light chuckle. "What makes you think that?" "Well, you've…. never really expressed an interest in history before, your grace. Wouldn't you rather go see the sites or a football game?" Simon's grin disappeared as shook his head with some severity. "I came here to be your escort, Daphne. Dull as I may the topic of medieval poetry, I have no desire of being anywhere else other than your side. I'm not letting you out of my sight until we get back to London." He said this, and I smiled. Oh, how I smiled….

"I can live with that."

The University of Edinburgh wasn't far from the hotel. The university was unsurprisingly packed, mainly with tourists who likely didn't know that all these really old buildings made up a university. Happened all the time back in London; there's nothing more annoying than trying to shuffle your way to class in between mobs of people. Likely for us, the history department wasn't hard to find or enter. The exhibition was open to all and gathered a significant number of visitors.

True to his word, Simon stuck by my side the whole time. Funny, it felt so natural and normal that neither of us really noticed or felt weird about it. The first thing we did was visited the exhibit proper. It was jammed packed, but because I was a Masters student with a student ID card we were able to get a close look at the material. Simon stood by, patiently waiting in the wings while I conversed with the guest lectures and professors on the topics. They were more than happy to talk to me about well, everything. The grad department head for history at the university and I got into a particularly long conversation. She was quite interested in my Masters project, and I was very interested in the research she was conducting. My heart skipped a beat- several beats- when she invited me and Simon out for coffee. She had a free twenty minutes then and saw I wanted to keep talking.

We went to a little café on campus where she and Simon ordered a coffee while I got a hot chocolate. Simon sat there, quietly sipping at his drink; I think the department head was impressed by him. But we did the majority of the talking. She stirred her coffee with one of those little sticks and grinned up at me.

"Your dissertation sounds intriguing. How many more chapters do you have to go?" "Two….. I hope. I want to keep it under five." "And you plan to submit early?" "Yes, if I can. W-With my supervisor's permission, of course!" Dr. March nodded. "Are you submitting early because of a PhD offer?" I nearly choked on my drink, though I don't know why. It was an innocent enough question, and I should have known the subject of PhD would come up when talking with a graduate department head- or any professor really. Still, it felt awkward bringing it up around Simon. He still didn't know that I applied to Amsterdam last month….

I regained my composure in a snap of a finger and straightened up my back. "N-No…. No, I-I don't have any offers at the moment," which was true; I didn't even have any interviews lined up. Granted, I'd only applied to one PhD position thus far. Dr. March seemed more than understanding at this, nodding her head a little. "Well, you're still in Masters. There's lots of time," she encouraged. "That's what I've been telling her," Simon gazed at me. Dr. March looked his way from across the table. I think she got the wrong idea about us right then.

"Waiting for a better time to apply, Miss Bridgerton?" "Huh? Oh! Oh, no! No, no! I'm not waiting… Well, erm I guess I kind of am, but…" My head drooped down a little. Her grin widened in its corners kindly. "Waiting for the right position then?" "Something like that…." I felt Simon's eyes still on me, and it was no longer a pleasant feeling. Dr. March leaned in closer a bit.

"Have you ever considered Edinburgh?" "Edinburgh?!" My head shot up in astonishment. Truthfully, I loved the city and the school but never really considered it as a viable option before. Still, I could see myself being happy here; really happy. Dr. March's head nodded; she arms folding across her chest. "We have a strong research concentration in medieval history. I'm sure you wouldn't have a hard time finding a supervisor for your project, if you'd like to continue studying the same material. Have you written a research proposal?" I blushed mildly, lowering my head somewhat embarrassed. "I have….." Simon's head shot back to me at this; his eyes wide and confused. Meanwhile Dr. March smiled pleased. "Excellent! That's the good step in the right direction for finding a PhD position. Here, take my card; why don't you fire off a copy of your proposal to me? Let me see if there's anyone I think who would be good for the topic." "Really?!" My face lit up like a candle, my heart beating a mile a minute. She slid her card across the table, which I tucked safely into my backpack. We said our goodbyes afterwards- she had to run to another meeting- and Simon and I decided to visit the National Museum of Scotland. This was more to reward Simon for being so patient with me at the university. But for some odd reason, he'd been strangely quiet since we left the café.

We visited the animal panorama first, then the history of fashion, then the technology section. We had reached the historical part of the museum when it all came to a head. I was admiring this ancient indoor windmill with Simon standing close by. His hands were clasped behind his back once more, though his posture was not relaxed.

"I thought you were going to take your time with PhD." "Huh?" I blinked to him startled. What brought this up? But his expression remained serious, however. I took a step towards him, trying to figure out what was the matter. "What's wrong, Simon?" "You've written a research proposal?" His eyebrow raised. "Yes? Why? What's wrong with that?" "If you've written one, you must be thinking about PhD. Why else would you write one?" "Simon, just cause I have one doesn't mean I have a PhD position. I don't even have an offer yet," my hand rose up to my chest. His eye arched a little. "Of course you don't have an offer yet. You're not married. Don't forget about the clause on your PhD trust fund." I sighed. I suppose I should have been offended by the way he was talking to me about my issues, but I knew Simon would never say anything to deliberately hurt me. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I shut my eyes for a second. When I reopened them, I walked over to his side.

"I know that, Simon; heh, there's no way I can forget it. But I don't want to put my life on hold just because of it either. I want a PhD more than anything." His eyes finally softened onto me. "I know you do, but you have to be patient. It'll come in time. Edinburgh would be a great school! But when the time is right. You'll know…. You'll know." And I grinned up at him. "I know I will."

After the museum we went to Holyrood park. I'd have another chance to go back to the university tomorrow and listen to more guest lectures, but for now, I thought we might just stretch our legs. The duke was a lot more chipper now, talking nonstop with me all the way to the park. We even stopped to get ice cream along the way; him mocking my scoop of cookie dough and me calling his sense of taste pretentious. It was a good afternoon.

We had finished our snack by the time we got to the park. I saw the palace and immediately wanted to go inside, only to be told by one of the guards in a red coat that it was closed for a special event. Sad. Nevertheless Simon and I made our way over to the hill where lots of people were out walking. We had to be careful not to run into anyone or accidently slip and fall. There were lots of steep edges along the way.

"What's your plan then?" "My plan?" "Yes, your plan. You're not going into grad school and your currently not working," Simon and I were on one of the particularly rocky parts of the trail. He was up ahead of me, constantly testing the way as we went about. "I work! Just not for an official boss." "Oh yes. You run your "estate"; heh, just like my brother." "Not everyone likes academia. Unlike you, who lives for learning, I never particularly enjoyed school," he admitted freely. "Then why'd you go to Oxford? That couldn't have been cheap." There was this brief pause between us. "Because my father wanted me to go." "Oh… So it wasn't really a choice, then?" "No….."

I tactfully waited a second before asking my next question. "What's your dream? Your goal in life?" "My goal in life is to be happy and be the exact opposite than my late father." "Not the best role model, huh?" "You can say that again. I suppose, if I did have a dream, it would be to become a great boxer- or at least better than I am now." "Oh I bet you're a great boxer already," I chimed. He snorted. "How would you know? You've never seen me fight." "I don't think I could handle it," I responded honestly. "Why not?" He seemed slightly surprised. "I don't do well with violence and gore." "You watch football." "Yeah, but it's not like American football or hockey. There's not much blood in football." Simon laughed. "You got a point there."

He's smiling; I like it so much when he smiles…. I wanted to keep talking about this so to make him happy, or happier than he already was. "What else makes you happy?" "Me? Oh, you know; normal stuff." "Dinosaurs and candy, then?" "I said "normal"; not "Daphne-centric"." He and I both laughed out loud now. "I guess my tastes are pretty weird." "Eh, they're what make you "you". As for me, good food, lots of travel, little worry…. All that sort of thing. I've had so much stress in my life before; it'd be nice just to have a breather for a while." "Well then, I think you should do what makes you happy. You deserve a break." "You don't know what I've been through," he didn't say this in a mean way, more like a "this is a fact" way. But I didn't care. I simply shook my head. "I know, but you still deserve one all the same."

Simon was about to say something when all of a sudden, his foot twisted the wrong way when he stepped down onto it. Immediately his body contorted and, in an effort not to fall backwards onto me, he practically forced himself to lean forward, hurting his foot more in the process. His ankle wasn't injured, rather just positioned the wrong way. I, however, upon seeing his stumble and the pointy rocks out in front of him, felt this sudden nausea come over me. You ever get that feeling when in an instant you realize something bad is about to happen and your body reacts to it before your brain has time to catch up? That was my situation then.

I don't remember my feet running. I don't think I'd ever run that fast in my life before if I'm honest. But somehow, at some point, I was standing by Simon's side. My arm flew out in an effort to break his fall and protect him from the pointy rocks, completely neglecting my own safety right then. "Simon!" I let out a cry. I only had one subconscious thought on my mind at the moment: don't let anything bad happen to him. Before either of us knew what was happening, we both landed on the ground with my arm underneath Simon's chest, effectively stopping him from crashing into the rocks. I, however….

It took a second but when we blinked, we realized what'd just happened. There was the pointy sharp rocks, then my arm, then Simon's chest. My sweater luckily protected my arm from getting all torn up. My hand, though, was a bloody, bruised frikin mess. It's like it had to just land on top of the sharpest, hardest, most pointy jagged rock there was in the park. The duke was thankfully unharmed, so it was a win in my books. I'd much rather be the one bleeding than him; so long as it was me instead of him, it was worth it. But Simon still instantly threw him up off of me, jumping back to his feet in a hurry. I laid there for a moment, my arm all twisted, and the palm of my hand sliced open and bleeding all over the ground.

You'd think I just taken a bullet by the way Simon reacted.


	28. Bonus Chapter: Simon's P.O.V. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Daphne visit a famous cemetery.

Simon's P.O.V.-

[I waited until the last moment to go see my father. I heard he was dying while I was in Briton; I made no attempt to hurry back. The door opened to reveal this husk, this shell of the tyrant I once knew laying in the bed. He saw me and extended out his hand like he truly expected me to take it. Up until the end, he thought he could push and pull me around. Only this time, I wouldn't hide my distain and utter hatred. I look at this man, feeling nothing but contempt and resentment- resentment for the living hell he'd tried to make my life these past twenty-six years.

"M-My son… Y-You have returned to take your rightful place," the old, lame man gasped between pitiful wheezing coughs. I approached his bedside, not reaching out for his hand. All I did was glare down at him, showing no reserve in my odious expression. His voice was weak and pained; I think this was the first time in my life he wasn't raising it at me. "M-My heart may be failing, but I-I assure you, it swells with pride… knowing the duke y-you have grown into," his lips trembled as he spoke.

My eyes glared daggers down at him. Pride; what can he possibly have to be proud of? Is he suddenly proud of me? The son he's told his whole life was his greatest regret? He has feelings of pride all of a sudden? I didn't think it possible for him to feel anything toward me but anger and disapproval. I honestly didn't believe a word of it. This was just him trying to manipulate me again, which I was proven right by what he said next.

This monster coughed again before concluding his hollow speech. "A-and the great Hastings n-name shall continue." My hands balled into fists. I remembered in that moment… I remembered all the dances he wouldn't let me attend, all the Valentine cards he threw out before I chance to open them; the time he screamed at girl in public for confessing she had a crush on me. All of it; it all came back in a flood. And it enraged me.

He didn't want me to fall in love; he couldn't have cared less about that. My marrying was never for me; it was never meant to be for me or my happiness. The only reason he'd give his consent to me marrying- in a completely arranged marriage, I might add- is so that I might continue the Hastings line. To hell with love and affection and all the rest of it. I was a breeding machine; a cog in his master plan to keep the family tree going. No one ever asked me what I wanted, if I'd even like to be a father. No one cared. I was a puppet, a tool to be used then put aside. In that instance I realized just how much I hated him. Words cannot express how much I detested this man. I wanted to hurt him in the way he'd hurt me countless times.

I wanted to make him pay.

My head leaned in so he could hear me loud and clear. "Listen to me very closely, for I have only returned to do but one thing. To make you a vow, the only vow I will ever make in my life." I leaned in right to his ear so I could whisper. "I will never marry. I will never sire an heir. The Hastings line will die with me. Are my words clear enough for you, Father?" I told him all this on his deathbed.

And I kept that vow.]

"Do ever do something like that again!" "What?" Daphne was in the bathroom, cleaning up after we took care and bandaged her hand. What, she asks. I scoffed; as if she didn't know. "Putting yourself in harm's way like that. You could have gotten severely injured." I could sense her eyes roll from here. "It's better than you getting hurt." That was the most unnatural thing in the world to me, and yet she said it with such sincerity. This cold steel bar of pure anxiety coiled itself around my heart, and it tightened whenever I thought that she didn't realize she did anything wrong. I had to give my head a shake, it was swimming. "Don't be ridiculous. It's not your job to protect me," I told her, coming out from her room so to see her in the bathroom. She was standing in front of the mirror with her back to me. I could see her smile in the reflection. "It's not my job, but I want to do it all the same." "Daphne…" I groaned, running my hand over my exasperated eyes. "What?! It's easier for me to get hurt than see you get hurt," again this pure, unadulterated honesty filled her voice. I watched her, unsure how to respond. How was I supposed to respond to that? Why would that be easier for her? I mean, I know why it is for me when the situation is reversed. But why would it be for her…?

Daphne reached to grab something with her bandaged hand. As I passively observed it, this strange sensation befell me. Her hand… It's the same hand which was resting overtop my heart in my dream that Saturday morning. The memory of the sleeping Daphne laying on my chest flew through my mind. Eyes widening, my heart skipped a beat. What the hell is wrong with me? Why would I think of that now of all times?! It didn't even happen; it was just a dream! Watching her another minute, my eyes finally lowered gently. Yeah, just a dream….

The Bridgerton heiress was pulling out her digital thermometer to check her temperature again. Meanwhile I crossed my arms and leaned up the side of the doorway. I did some research on her heart condition after I met Daphne for the first time. I knew Edmund also had it, which means that Daphne inherited it from him. According to what I've read, her condition is apt to get worse when she's really tired, stressed, overheated, or dehydrated. Also not getting enough salt can cause problems too. On top of which, it's better for her to eat smaller meals spaced throughout the day than three proper big meals, which explains why she eats at least every two hours and drinks water every hour. At least she's aware of these sorts of things.

The thermometer beeped and Daphne looked at its screen, only to frown. My immediate reaction was to perk up. She's frowning; that can't be good. "What is it?" I asked. She merely shook her head, put the thermometer away, and exited the bathroom. I was right on her heels as she went to sit down on the bed. "It's a little higher than it should be…. It's been like this all day," she muttered under her breath, more to herself than to me I'm sure. Still, my brain began freaking out. "What do you mean "all day"? You've had a fever this whole time?!" "It's not a fever. It's just…. my body temperature's higher than it usually is, that's all," she was alarmingly calm about all this. I was having none of it. "Why? What's wrong?" I was practically demanding at this point. I didn't like her lassi-fair attitude about the whole scenario. Now I know why Anthony's always stressing out so much. It helped literally nothing when she flashed me a dismissive grin.

"It's nothing to worry about. My body just does this from time to time. I'll be fine; there's no chest pains or blurred vision," she sounded a lot more confident than I felt. "Are you sure? Maybe you should lay down," I suggested, hoping she'd take the hint. The heiress just shook her head again. "It'll be ok. Actually, what may help is getting some exercise." "Exercise?" I did read somewhere that light exercise can temporarily help. Only temporarily, mind you. She nodded excitedly. "We've gone everywhere I wanted to today. Let's go somewhere you want! What do you wanna see in the city?" There was eagerness in her tone.

I scratched the back of my neck a bit awkwardly. I wasn't keen on the idea of her leaving the hotel room in this state, but then she did say her body temperature's been high all day and it hasn't been a problem yet. Maybe a little bit of exercise would help the situation. The only thing was it was dark out and not a lot was open. I glanced out the window into the black, thinking to myself for a minute. That's when I got an idea- one I knew she'd love.

"Actually, this is somewhere…." I teased, enjoying the elated expression on Daphne's face. Her eyes lit up. "Really?! If you tell me, we can go there!" She's so cute, I couldn't stop myself from inwardly smiling. I love it when she gets all excited for something. I waited for a moment intentionally, rubbing my finger under my chin. "Well, I was just thinking…. There is this extremely famous graveyard in town." "Graveyard?" You should have heard the tone in her voice just then. She couldn't hide her enthusiasm even if she tried. "Mmhmm, with apparently the most haunted tomb in all of the UK, if not Europe." I wish I had a camera to capture the look on her face just then.

Having way too much fun with this, I made a show to sigh as my head turned to the side. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to grin like a lunatic. "Course you've probably never heard of him. One George Mackenzie buried in Greyfrairs Kirkyard." Daphne leaped off the bed, looking more alive and well than ever. "I wanna go! Let's go now! I mean… that's a good choice," she caught herself all embarrassed. I chuckled to myself. She's like a kid who's just been told the shortcut to the candy store. But's she's right, it is a good choice. Still my fun wasn't over just quite yet. I made a show of my hands in that "spooky" manner you'd see on tv. "You sure? It might be scary. It's supposed to be haunting; crawling with ghosts." "Who cares about ghosts? So long as they don't block my view of the gravestones, they can do what they want." And I laughed. At least she's got a sense of humour…. Although I don't think she was joking. Leave it to Daphne to want to go to one of Scotland's most haunted graveyards only to not care an inch about the "haunted" aspect. She long as she has her history, she's happy.

We left at around ten o'clock. The graveyard wasn't far from the hotel, or the university for that matter. The gates were still open and would be so for another hour; plenty of time to go exploring. Daphne was practically skipping, she was so happy. We went in, only to discover that we weren't the only ones with the bright idea to visit a haunted cemetery after dark. There was a tour group in the middle of a tour, and several other people walking about.

The heiress kept racing from tombstone to tombstone, pointing out something she found interesting on it to me before dashing to the next one. She liked how some had these creepy skulls, which didn't look at all like real human skulls in my opinion. Some sections of the graveyard were quieter than others. Ironically, or perhaps not so, Mackenzie's tomb was eerily lacking visitors. I didn't know much about the guy but he was apparent a real character. "He's responsible for imprisoning over a thousand Covenanters, lots of whom died. They were kept right there," Daphne explained to me, pointing to a closed off part of the cemetery. I blinked perplexed. "What? You mean there was a jail there at one time?" "No. He literally locked them up in the cemetery. They died from exposure and maltreatment," she clarified. My eyes turned back to the imposing silent tomb. Wow, no wonder his grave is said to be the most haunted. He's buried right beside where a bunch of his victims died. I wonder if they're buried in the closed off bit where they died?

I smirked a little to myself. "What a bastard. Course he would come back as a vengeful spirit, huh Daphne?" Nothing. "Daphne?" A quick glance beside me confirmed that she was no longer there. The blood in my veins froze. She's gone! Where is she?! It's pitch black out here and I can't hear her voice anywhere. Where could she have gone? It's a gated graveyard with only one entrance and exit, so she must still be somewhere inside. My hands unconsciously balled into clenched fists. I don't remember the last time I felt like this…. Like this sheer, wrenching panic smouldering all throughout my body.

"Daphne! Daphne!" Dammit! Why aren't there any lights in this place? Six hundred years and they couldn't install some goddamn lamps?! I wasn't sure which parts were the path, the graves, and the grass on the ground. My feet stumbled forward, though it was too dark to get a good view of wherever I was going. "Daphne!" My voice was getting louder. Louder and more desperate. Where is she? Why can't I find her?! She couldn't have gone far. Why isn't she answering me?! The more I stewed over it, the faster my feet ran. Daphne! A million things ran through my head just then. What if she's hurt, or is lost? What if she's fainted? Where is she? Why do I suddenly like I'm on the verge of having a panic attack? She's a grown adult; she can take care of herself. Only… Only I don't like being apart from her like this! Who knows who else could be roaming around in here at this time of night. What if they've been drinking and find Daphne before I do? What if they try and take her out of here? What if it's another case like Nigel? No, Daphne! Where the hell are you?!

I want her back, and I mean now!

It was then that my feet came to a screeching halt. After some much-needed deep inhales, I forced myself to calm down. Ok, keep calm; it's only been a minute, she can't be far. Focus… Stay focused. Immediately upon thinking this, by some divine miracle, my head jolted to the side where I saw none other than Daphne! She was standing in front of this elaborate gravesite, hidden within the pillars; the heiress was busying trying to make out what the engraving said inside.

I can't tell you how hard I breathed a sigh of relief. It'd only been a minute and a half but that was the longest minute and a half of my life. Just the idea that I could have lost Daphne in this place after I suggested we come here… That frightened me more than anything in this cemetery.

Daphne, completely oblivious to my onset of panic mere moments ago, finished reading whatever it was she was reading, and turned around to smile at me. "Oh, there you are! Sorry, I just wanted to come check this out. Thought I might recognize the name, but nope. Oh well, still a cool tomb," she shrugged. Daphne, I watched her awe-struck. She wasn't scared at all; she just waltzed on over here like it was nothing because she saw something interesting. But the truth is it's dangerous for her to be going anywhere alone in here at this hour. It is and yet she…. The coil of anxiety curled itself around my heart again, giving it a rough squeeze. This is why I worry about her. This is why I worry…. She knows the world is unsafe and yet she's so casual about everything. It makes me want to watch her. It makes me want to protect her.

It makes me want to remorselessly crush anyone who would try to harm her.

Daphne took a step towards me, as I was still too stunned to move. That instantly changed however, when she coughed and stumbled a bit. She faltered to the side, using her arm to prop up herself against one of the pillars surrounding the crypt she was currently inside. Her head fell as she began to wheeze, her hand grabbing at her chest through her shirt. Her fingers clenched the fabric. "Daphne?!" My voice cracked in a terrified manner. Her head slowly brought itself back up so to face mine. "Simon…." She strained to utter.

That was the last word she said until we got back to the hotel.


	29. I Want To Hold Your Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon stays with Daphne until she falls asleep.

I suppose I didn't realise it but I never thought it was possible. I didn't realize it was happening until it was too late…. Until I'd already….. Without being aware of it… Without even knowing it….. Before I knew what was happening….

I don't remember what it was like before you now.

Simon brought me straight back to the hotel. Out of literally the blue my chest began hurting- like really hurting. He waited outside my hotel room for me to change into my pyjamas, then he came back inside. The duke tucked me into bed all warm and snug. While I was feeling better- well, maybe not better per se, but more restful- he was still in a protective state of mode. My eyes opened wide at the sensation of his palm suddenly over top my forehead.

My heartbeat at a rapid pace. H-He's touching me! Simon's got his hand on me! It sounds totally insane but I remember each and every time we've ever physically touched each other. The first time was him taking my hand- twice- the night Nigel assaulted me. Then there was him wrapping the Band-Aid around my finger in the bookstore, though we didn't really "touch" then. The last time was at the train station, when I helped him put his bracelet on. My eyes glanced up the sleeve of his shirt. He was still wearing it, the charm bracelet I gave him….

While I was inwardly blushing to the moon and back, Simon acted like it was no big deal. He put his hand over my forehead, then he removed it to check his own forehead immediately after. His eyes arched in a perplexed way. "Hmmmmm, I can't tell if you have a fever. Let me go get your thermometer," he was about to head into the bathroom. But I shook my head softly. "Don't bother. Even if it is a fever, it'll go away soon. This happens from time to time," while I meant this to be reassuring, Simon sent me a distressed look.

"Don't do that." "What?" I blinked slightly confused. "Don't make light of your situation. You always do that, and it drives me crazy." "What do you mean? No, I don't. Well, I mean… maybe. But if I do, it's only because I've lived with this my whole life. I know what's going to happen." "No, you don't. Edmund didn't know what would happen to him," he countered severely. "Daddy had an accident. He didn't die solely from his heart condition," though it was quickly deteriorating by the end. "And why did the accident happen? You have to take better care of yourself, Daphne. Be alert when you're outside alone; drink water constantly; and rest if and when your body needs it. I don't…. I don't want to see anything happen to you," he sounded sad in his last sentence. My eyes lowered onto him. Simon…. "Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me, I promise. You just haven't been around long enough to see that this sort of thing is normal. But I'll get better- I always do." "Daphne…." Simon softened his gaze onto me. I let out a gentle sigh. Despite everything that's happened, I actually feel pretty good right now. Emotionally, not physically I mean.

His shoulders visibly relaxed- a bit. "How are you feeling now? Does your chest still hurt?" "A little. It should be better by the morning." "I've called Anthony. He said he'll check-in in the morning." "Thank you for doing that. You know how he worries….." "Can't say I blame him," the duke muttered under his breath. Simon sighed and proceeded to sit down on the floor next to my bed. I blinked to him.

"What are you going to do now?" "Huh?" Simon also blinked over his shoulder at me. "Now, I mean." "What are you talking about? You're still in pain- I'm going to stay here." My heart skipped countless beats. I can't help it, when he says things like this…. My lips parted a sliver. "So… You'll stay then?" "Course! I mean…. Do you want me to stay?" He was legitimately asking me. I watched him for a moment; my lips morphing to a thin, genuine line. Why do I feel so safe and happy whenever he's nearby? No one's ever made me feel the way he does before. I want to keep him close; I want to make him smile a lot.

I want so much for him to be so supremely happy.

Feeling tears forming in the corners of my eyes, all my head could do was nod. I was afraid to say much just then, lest I start crying for real. "Yes… Stay. Stay with me….. Please," I want you to stay.

Simon stared my way for the longest time, his eyes fixated on my honest expression. Eventually he nodded, having to pull his eyes away from mine; I think he was under the impression they revealed too much emotion right then. "I'll stay…. I'll stay for as long as you need me."

That's when it hit me like a speeding train. Oh god… Oh god, I'm selfish! I'm so incredibly selfish! It's almost midnight, and here I am asking him to stay up for who knows how long with me. I didn't want to hold him here against his will, though I knew he'd never me that was the case. Embarrassed, I pulled the blanket to cover the top part of my face so he couldn't see my lips tremble. I want him to stay, but only if he wants to.

"I-I'm sorry, Simon. I-It's late, and you must be tired. You don't…. have to stay if you don't want to," I probably sound like some wishy-washy teenage girl who's talking to her first crush, and well…. Yeah. Simon's head shot back to me in surprise. "What are you talking about? Of course I want to stay! I don't mind staying up, if that's what you need." "But I want you to stay up all night on my account," I gently countered. He thought for a minute. "Then how about I stay until you fall asleep?" "Til I fall asleep?" I repeated, blinking. He nodded a little. "I'll stay, until you're fast asleep. And your phone's still beside your bed, so you can call me if you wake up and need anything." "Simon…." My eyes lowered onto him.

I rolled onto my back next to face the ceiling and his head turned forward to face the wall. A moment of quiet filled the air all throughout my room. I sighed deeply. "Simon?" "Hmmmmm?" "Do you ever think you'll fall in love?" Another long pause. "Why do you ask?" "I've never been in love before." "I know. Me neither." "How do you think someone would know if they're in love?" I asked him. He considered this briefly. "Well I don't think you "know"…. I imagine it's just a feeling, like anything else. Happiness, sadness, anger…. You don't choose to "love" anyone; it's just sorta happens on its own," he said with such sincerity. I peered at the back of his head through the corner of my eye. It just sorta happens on its own, huh?

"Daddy always told me love had nothing to do with marriage." "My dad said the same thing." "Marriage is for status and the generation of wealth," my eyes lowered. "Marriage is for the production of children," I'm sure his eyes lowered too. "Then… what's love for? What's the purpose of falling in love?" I asked into the void. Simon took his time with this, eventually spinning his head to look back at me. His stare then…. It made every fibre in my body vibrate.

"I don't know. I don't know…. Or at least, I used to not know." Simon! My eyes widened- like, a lot. My mouth fell open on its own accord. Simon's eyes locked onto mine. "You are the easiest person in the world to be with, Daphne; even when it's not easy. I never asked for any of this, yet here we are…." "Here we are," my words were soft and soulful. Simon smiled my way in a tender fashion.

"You should get some sleep." "Ok. Are you…. going to stay then?" The duke nodded. "I'll stay, until you've fallen asleep." "How will I know when you've left?" I asked. He thought about it, then flashed me another glorious grin. "I'll hold your hand." "Huh?!" I don't think my cheeks could have burned redder. But he merely nodded once more, stretching his hand up towards me on the bed. "I'll hold your hand until you're sleeping. I'll let go… when I leave." Us? H-Hold hands? Why does this feel so wrong…. and so right in so many ways?! Do I want to hold his hand? Do I want to hold Simon's hand? I knew this was a bad idea since my heart would be so insanely loud. And yet… And yet…. I knew it was a bad idea but a part- a very large part- didn't frankly care. Who cares about what's right or wrong? What about what I want? I want…. I want….

I want to hold his hand.

With more shyness than I've ever done anything in my life, my uninjured hand slipped out from under the covers, grabbing onto his. His long, slender fingers curled protectively around my palm. I blushed even more, practically hiding my face with the covers. He chuckled, turning his head back forward and shutting his eyes. I felt his hand give mine a squeeze. "Have a good sleep, Daphne." "Good night, Simon…" Good night…

Words cannot describe how good it felt to be so near to him, to hold his hand in mine like that. I fell to sleep astonishingly quick; I rarely ever fall asleep that fast, especially when I'm in pain. I guess it's because I felt safe….. Safer than I'd ever before when falling to sleep. I don't remember Simon letting go of my hand after that. The last thing I recall from that night is the sensation of Simon's hand- his soft, silky skin- against mine, and how I didn't know that holding hands with someone…. could be such a magical, life-changing experience.

Little did either of us know that this was the night where everything would change going forward. Nothing would ever be the same after tonight. The floodgates had been opened and there was no shutting them. But then, there's always a calm before a storm. Simon had a vow he was determined to keep, and I had a marriage clause still looming over my head. These were facts of life we couldn't ignore anymore, try as we might have before. And that wasn't all either. Yes, a storm was indeed coming.

And his name was Friedrich.


	30. Anthony And Daphne Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony arrives in Edinburgh, only for him and Daphne to get into a huge argument.

["I'm sorry, Mr. and Miss Bridgerton. Your father's not going to make it."]

Things weren't better when I woke up the next morning, which slightly alarmed me. I'd gone to bed with chest pains tons of times before…. but this is the first time I remember waking up with them still there. Simon was at my bedside while Eloise kept bringing me water consistently. We'd just got word that Anthony's taxi had arrived; Benedict went down to the lobby to meet him. You'd think I was on life-support by the way he burst through the door.

"Baby sis!" Without acknowledging Simon or Eloise, Anthony rushed over to my side. He took one of my hands in both of his. Trying to act cheery, I put on a small grin for him. "Hi, big bro." It was then that he sighed and looked over to Simon. "Thank you for taking care of my sister." The duke perked up, his hands clasped anxiously behind his back. "O-Oh, no trouble. I just want her to feel better." "So do I," our brother's eyes returned back to me. Anthony set my hand down back onto the bed and stood up in that usual dominant position of his.

"Right. You are going to a doctor- now." I sat up a little in bed, not taking my eyes off him. "I don't need a doctor." "Clearly you do! Now get up and get dressed. I've found a doctor roughly ten minutes away who can see you this morn-….." I cut him off with a stern glare. "I said I don't need a doctor. This will pass; it always does. I don't want to make a big deal out of this. There's nothing the doctor can do anyway right now; you know that." "Then we'll go to the hospital," he rebuffed. "That's not necessary. I'll be fine; just give me a couple of hours. I'll be back to normal soon."

No one said anything, though all eyes were nervously fixed on Anthony. His, meanwhile, were locked solid onto me. His back was stiff as a board, his mouth the thinnest line it could possibly be, and his hands clenched into fists. We hadn't seen him this mad since that night Nigel accosted me- well, maybe not "that mad" but still really angry. It took a minute, but soon enough his pursed lips parted a centimetre.

"You sound like Dad."

My forefinger twitched heatedly. I frowned. "No, I don't." "Yes, you do. You sound just like him." "Don't bring Daddy into this!" I yelled, growing ever more livid. "You begged him for years to visit a doctor! What? You think we're deaf? You don't think we heard all those times you pleaded with him to see his doctor or follow her advice?! You and I argued with him more than anyone else on this! I saw you! I saw you, Daphne! I was there! You were just as worried as me up until the end, and look at you now! You learned nothing from watching him stuggle! Not a single, goddamn thing!" Anthony roared. I think the only one in the room now who wasn't terrified of him was me. Anthony could yell, but I was never afraid of him. On the contrary, I saw up fully in bed so to counter his verbal attack properly. We glared at each other.

"That's not true! I've been going to my regular appointments back in Brussels and I follow the doctor's advice. I'm doing what I begged Daddy to do all those years ago!" "Are you on medication? Is that "advice" you're following from the doctor?" My eldest brother harshly countered. I paused, still frowning, while Simon blinked to Eloise perplexed. "Medication? There's medication you can take for your condition?" Oh no… I winced. Why? Just why did he have to bring "that" up, of all things?

"Of course there's medication! See?! You are just like Dad! He refused up until the end to be on any meds, and look where that got him!" Anthony's voice raised more, if that were possible. I'm sure the other hotel guests could hear us by now. My hands curled into fists as well, enraged. "I don't need medication. I can take care of my condition myself. Daddy drank and smoked a lot of cigars! I don't do any of that stuff! We're not in the same situation!"

"You're right; yours is worse! Daddy didn't show any signs until he was over forty. You're not even thirty and it's already this bad! Yes, you don't do all the aggravating stuff Dad did, but objectively your condition is the worse of the two. You're not going to get better, Daphne; it's only downhill from here. Your heart will never be as strong as it once was," Anthony stated with undeniability. I watched him for another second, then lowered my eyes down a bit. "I know that… But I don't want to live with this constantly dominating over my life either. If I go see a doctor every time I have chest pains or starry vision…. I don't want to live like that, Anthony! I don't want to have to take even more pills than I already am for the rest of my life! It's enough!" Benedict and Eloise blinked in surprise. "More pills? You're already taking other medication?" Benedict asked. I don't blame him for being confused. Only Anthony and I knew that I was on medication to stop my period permanently. While this puzzled them, it only went to fan my brother's rage even more. Anthony's arms stiffened at his sides in a visible show of frustration.

"Selfish… I can't believe how selfish you are," he hissed at me. Benny took a step his way, raising his hand up a little. "Bro," our second oldest brother pleaded for me. But Anthony was having none of it. He just kept on glaring in my direction, breathing heavily. "You know what happened with Dad! He could have lived twenty years longer if he had just taken better care of himself. Now he's gone! He won't be there to see any of us get married or have children. Dad's gonna miss it all, when he could have been there! It's not just about you, Daphne! What about our siblings?! You gonna make them stand by and watch another family member die before their time? Your chances of living to old age are already low. Why make the situation worse than it already is?! See, this is why Dad was so keen on getting you married while you're still in your twenties!" "Anthony!" I cried, but he continued. "He didn't want you to become like him. He could see this coming from a mile away!" "No, he couldn't!" "Yes, he could! That's why you need someone around, baby sister; that's why you need someone there to look after you. Dad was lucky enough to have us, but you're not in his position!

You clearly can't take care of yourself!"

Another very tense silence permeated the hotel room. No one dared make a peep or even a move. I did notice the expression on Simon's face change, however. It was from genuine concern to confliction, like he was at war with himself over something- and I had no idea what that might be about. I would have asked if he was alright but there were bigger concerns needing my attention at the moment.

I looked up at Anthony for I don't know how long, feeling this surge of mixed, powerful emotions bubble inside me. I was so irate in that instance- I'd never felt such pure, unfiltered anger towards my brother. And my father, as well. These men… These controlling men who see and treat me as nothing but a little girl. A child to be carried and carted along throughout life, never to worry or act for myself. It was then that I realized they'd never see me as an equal. Well, no wait; scratch that. I realized that when Daddy put that damn marriage clause in his will.

I would never be on the same level as our father in my brother's eyes. That's the way Daddy raised him. A part of me wished Anthony would change, but another part knew he never would. This is how the men in my family show love to their loved ones, ironic as that may sound. Daddy put that clause in for me to get married, but he left me ninety percent of the monetary inheritance. Anthony talks to me like this, but everyone knows I'm his favourite sibling- just like how I was Daddy's favourite child. They only act this way because they love me; they love me more than anything else on this planet. And yet, the problem is that I'm a woman, and neither of them know how to deal with that in a healthy manner. They've equated "female" with glass doll my whole life…. regardless of the contradictory evidence I've shown them. I shouldn't like them, I should downright hate them; I had very good reason too. Any rational, self-respecting woman would, and rightly so. But….. But….. ["You have to remember… just always remember how much I love you. No matter what happens going forward… know I love you; I loved you first. That'll never change, pumpkin."] I can't help it: I love them. Daddy was my favourite man in the world until the day he died, and Anthony….. I know it's probably wrong and twisted and bad for me, but I just can't help myself.

I love these men of mine.

After a very long pause, I relaxed my bunched-up shoulders and let out a worn-out sigh. My eyes shut with some dramatics. Why keep on waging war, when he's fighting it for me?

"I'll go see the doctor."


	31. Heaven's Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daphne thinks about her father while at the doctor's.

-I've made so many mistakes in my life. Too many to count. I had too many drinks, went on too many motorcycle rides, smoked too many cigars, had too many kids. I've done it all. And yet she… She's the only thing I can honestly say I don't regret. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much, but I learned that love at first sight is indeed real. The nurse came out with a little pink blanket and put her in my arms. I looked at her and haven't been the same since. And I said "a girl…. I've always wanted a little girl."

She was the first thing that was ever truly mine. I knew that I'd ever be the best version of myself when I'm this little girl's father. I'm her father… And whenever she says she needs me, she'll never know how much I need her more. I love her- simply, effortlessly I love her. She's shown me a whole other side to living, to parenthood…. If heaven exists, that's where she came from. It gave me her….. I don't think I'll wind up there myself, but that's ok.

She's my heaven's light.-

"Everything looks in order. You just got a little too dehydrated. Has this ever happened before?" The doctor came into the patient room with the test results. I was sitting on that counter with the paper sprawled across it. My eyes drooped down sort of embarrassed. "Erm, yes; I've had to go to the hospital for it." A moment of silence. The doctor's face dropped. "Oh…" Was her only reply. "B-But that was a long time ago! The last time I was at the hospital was for uh…. period problems."

"Ah, yes. I see you're taking contraceptive pills. Are you sexually active?" "No! I mean, no… They're for uh, to stop my period," god, I wanted to die inside. She nodded in an understanding fashion. "And when did you stop having a period?" "The last time I went to the hospital- almost three and a half years now." "Your body just couldn't the symptoms?" The doctor inquired. I shook my head. "No. It was getting too hard and I was losing too much blood… My body couldn't handle losing that much iron every month anymore." "Mmmmm, makes sense; that's common for women with your condition. But you understand you'll never be able to have children?" "That's fine. I want a PhD anyway; children would just in the way of my academic dreams." Her head nodded again, then checking over her clipboard briefly.

"You've said you've experienced critical levels of dehydration before?" "Yes. But I'm better at monitoring it now. If I start to see stars or feel light-headed or nauseous, I drink a lot of water. I'm usually good at staying on top of it. It's just when I travel….." I'm usually so on top of everything, but admittedly when I travel…. Sometimes- only sometimes- I forget I'm not normal, my body's not normal. Thinking about it only made my eyes lower. Yeah, I forgot….. I forgot this weekend. I was having such a good time with Simon; I didn't want to bring him down with my needs. I wanted to be normal, so we could have a normal time…. together.

Look how well that turned out.

The doctor jotted down some notes. "Is this a hereditary condition in your family?" "Yes. My father had it." "I see. And how's he handling it?" A moment of silence broke over the room. She asked this so innocently and yet, hearing her say that stung. It stung- quite a lot. My eyes drifted down from her face to my hands clasped together on my lap.

"He's gone…." Another silent moment. "I'm sorry." "He had an accident…. He wasn't the best at monitoring his condition," he never was. She nodded slowly. "Was he aware you inherited it?" "Yes… he knew. Heh, he worried more about me than himself. Drove me up the wall at the time. He made me go to every doctor appointment and bought me this really fancy pink water bottle so I could carry it everywhere…. and he made my brother watch over me like a hawk. He did everything he could for me- to make my life better…. easier. But he never cared about himself- not like me or my brother anyway. I think his greatest regret in life wasn't that he had heart problems…. It's that I have them," my finger twitched. My bottom lip quivered a little as my eyes just stared down blankly at nothing. Daddy…..

I let out a low, pained chuckle. "If I could do it over again, I would've shoved those meds down his throat. It wasn't me who needed to be watched in reality; it was him." The doctor took her time responding to this, sensing the mood. "But you… don't want to take medication?" "I already don't have a period, on top of my condition. I'm done "not being normal". Daddy didn't take medication, and I'm not going to either." The doctor's eyes glued onto me in this studying manner. It's as if she was trying to figure me out just then; figure out the meaning behind my words….

"Are you doing this to punish yourself? You couldn't save his life, so you're not going to take the proper measures to ensure your own?" That was blunt of her to ask and I appreciated her sincerely. I grinned sadly, shaking my head. "No. Daddy made his choices; he's responsible for what happened to him… though I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish I did more, or rather made him do more for his own health. No, it's just…. It's just my father wanted so much for me and we both knew my condition doesn't help anything. I know I'm not normal… but I like to pretend I am… for his sake. I feel like if I take medication for this particular condition, it's like admitting I have a problem. I can get over the period thing since it's super convenient not to have one and lots of women choose not to have a period…. But no one chooses to take heart medication unless there's a serious problem," my eyes lowered again.

Yet another pause ensued. The doctor's head fell a bit- thoughtfully of course. "You don't want to admit there's a problem?" "It's not that…. Well, maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is that I saw how much my condition worried my father, and I worried about him. I don't… want to be a burden on anyone else like that again; I can take care of myself just fine. I don't need a husband whose sole job it is to babysit me…. like Daddy did. I didn't want Daddy to have to do that back then. I hated seeing him worry so much. I loved him….. He was my most favourite person in the world. It felt like it was my job to worry about him; not the other way around," bizarre as that may sound coming from a daughter about a father. "Husband?" The doctor's eyebrow raised up. I flashed her a small grin. "Nothing."

"So… You still don't want the medication, then?" She then asked. I let out a sigh. Anthony would freak out if I left here without at least a prescription, but I really didn't want to take it… Daddy worried so much over me near the end of his life. I never want to see another man go through that again- I don't want anyone else to see me as "not normal" in the world. Even though deep down I knew…. Anthony….. If no one else on the planet knew, there was still Anthony. And I hated being a burden on him too.

Another long sigh fell from my mouth. I gently shut my eyes. "I'll take a prescription and keep the pills as a back-up…. in case it ever gets too much to handle." "That's a good idea," she pulled out her prescription pad. I watched her write down the material on its blank page, considering to myself the entire time. I wonder…. Is that perhaps why I have such an aversion to marriage? Because…. I don't want anyone to replace Daddy to me? I don't want anyone to worry about me the way he worried because… it's not him? I hated Daddy fretting over me at the time, but…. I know he did it out of love for me, like I worried out of love for him. I thought that maybe if I am normal, I don't need to get married because no one will have to worry about me, and at some point I equated worrying with control…. I want to be normal, but I've never given much thought as to why before….

I've never thought about it like that before, and I can't help but wonder why.

[I woke up at a tugging of my IV on my left arm. My eyes fluttered open a sliver. I didn't know what time it was or how long I'd been asleep for; all I remember passing out sometime after they stuck the needle in me.

This was my first ever hospital trip from my condition. The doctor said I had the same heart condition as my father; I was born with a weak heart which is apt to cause me to faint and get lightheaded. We know this because when I arrived at school that morning, I didn't go to class. Instead I went straight to the bathroom to vomit my guts out. My chest felt like was on fire; like someone was sticking a hot wire into it repeatedly. I laid there in sheer agony in the nurse's office, throwing up uncontrollably until Daddy came to pick me up ten minutes later. We went straight to the hospital.

After some tests and x-rays it was confirmed that I was dangerously dehydrated and that in turn hurt this condition neither of us knew I had. I was in a bed in a hospital room on a high floor, with an IV stuck in my arm. I always hated needles, and having one in my arm for hours was not my idea of comfort.

Daddy was beside himself with a handful of different emotions. He was mad- furious I'd say. But not at me. Rather he kept yelling at the doctors and nurses, demanding for a second opinion. He didn't believe that I inherited his heart condition- or rather, he didn't want to believe- until three doctors eventually confirmed it that night. Then Daddy's emotions changed from rage to being distraught and beside himself. He collapsed down onto the stool beside my bed with his face buried in both his hands; he was like that for a long, long time. He didn't say anything for hours and I finally fell asleep. I was feeling better but still in a lot of pain. It was then I learned that getting dehydrated was a dangerous game for me.

Sometime later I woke up to a quiet, empty hospital room. The first thing I saw was the ceiling, since I was currently laying on my back. The arm with the IV in it tucked when I tried to move it, forgetting temporarily that the IV was still in there. I winced, suddenly recalling earlier events and rested my arm back down again. My other arm was also difficult to move and when I spun my head to the side, I found Daddy there fast asleep. He was holding my right hand in both of his. I watched him for a moment, not wanting to wake him. Daddy….. He hadn't left my side since we got here; not even for an instance. He'd stayed with me this whole time. He stayed with me…..

I shuffled somehow and he began to stir. His eyes cracked open a tad, this soft warm smile shining up at me. He didn't move his weary head off the covers. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" "Go be to sleep, Daddy. I didn't mean to wake you," I cooed in reply. He must be so tired; no wonder he fell asleep sitting up. His head nudged a little. "You ok, princess? Tell Daddy what you need. Does your heart still hurt? Do you want some more medicine?" My head shook lightly, my eyes not leaving Daddy's gaze. "I'm ok….. I'm just a little sleepy." "Mmmmm, me too. Don't worry, baby; you can go back to sleep. I'll take care of everything; you just rest." "But you're tired too, Daddy. I don't want you to have to stay on my account."

His eyes transfixed on me, his eyes lowering. His hands gave mine a tight, loving squeeze. "No, honey; don't think like that. I wanna be here with you. You are never a bother; not to anyone who loves you. Any man who loves you will be happy to stay and hold your hand like this…. for as long as you need. I want to be here, baby girl. I want to be here…" "Daddy," my voice was low and gentle.

After watching me for another minute, Daddy's bottom lip began to tremble uncontrollably; his whole jaw was practically vibrating. This stream of tears started dripping down from his eyes. While now clenching onto my hand, his upper half lowered so to hide his face from me. This was the first and would be the only time I'd see my father cry. Daddy's teeth clenched; his hands shaking while clinging onto mine for what felt like mercy. "I'm sorry, Daphne. I'm sorry….

I'm so, so sorry."]


	32. Bonus Chapter: Simon's POV Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon watches Daphne sleep.

Simon's P.O.V.- (Middle of the night before Anthony arrived in Edinburgh)

"Simon….. Simon." That voice…. That sweet, sweet voice. "Simon….." I know that voice.

"Simon."

Knowing I was dreaming, or in the middle of a dream, I was at an all too familiar place- at my father's bedside where he lay dying. Staring down at his pathetic body, I remembered all the pain, all the hatred he stirred up in me. That's all I thought I could feel for a long time- nothing but hatred… hatred and internal strife. But things were changing; they were slowly changing for me.

I'd never experienced this part of the dream before, but the bedroom door behind us opened. I glanced over my shoulder to see someone standing there- a woman. Her long, flowing hair rested so naturally behind her. Her skin was soft and silky. She stood there looking at me…. And she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

We starred at each other for I know not how long; time didn't seem to exist in my dream. Eventually however, her lush red lips parted. "You're in pain," she stated matter-of-factly. A smirk came to my own lips- a sad smirk. "When am I ever not in pain?" Her eyes softened, still fixed onto me. Her slender hand rested on the door frame. I noticed the bandage wrapped around the wound on its palm. "You are going to cause me a great deal of pain as well."

My eyes widened in shock and horror. "No, I would never do anything to hurt you." "Then let me in, for both our sakes." "I can't…." Her lips shut, then opened again. "Then I will suffer; we shall suffer together, until you can learn to love me more than you hate him." "Love you?" My heart skipped a beat. Love her… Love this beautiful woman, this celestial creature? As if reading my face, a smile blossomed across hers. "Yes. Love me as I've grown to love you." "You… love me?" I felt my whole body tingle in that instance. No one… had ever said those three little words to me before. Her eyes simply softened in reaction. "I love you.

I said it to you each and every day, in ways you never knew."

I couldn't stop staring at her. But then, somewhat reluctantly, my gaze shifted back to the horrid man lying motionless in the bed. Then they drifted out into space. Love… Something I used to want but came to understand could never be mine- not truly. That path, that destiny was not for me. I was meant for something else; something else entirely.

But here she is, telling me those sacred words of tenderness. How can I possibly respond to her? How can tell her that I love her back? Do I… love her? But one look confirmed it all. Oh, who am I kidding; how could I not? Look at her… I know her. If I were blind, I'd know what she is. And it's true… I see her and I know it's true.

Before I knew it, I'd grown to love her so much.

Sensing my resolve, this precious woman let her hand fall down from the doorframe. She entered the room, coming right up to me, standing in front of me. I spun my heels around so to face her. My heart beat a mile a minute when her hand raised to rest overtop it. Her palm and fingers pressed into my shirt. She stared straight up into my eyes. "No matter what you do now, going forward…. know that I can't stop- not anymore. I've fallen in love, Simon Basset. You can't rely on time to heal the wounds you will inflict; it will not mend my broken heart. Time stands still when we're apart….

And I'm going to miss you so, so much."

My eyes shot open for real this time. You know when you jolt awake from a nightmare? That literally just happened to me. I woke up with a shock, completely forgetting my dream in the process. Dream… Or it must have been a nightmare, judging by how violently I awoke. Instinctively I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand; my other hand was preoccupied with something. It took me a second to realize that I was sitting in an upright position on what felt to be a hard floor. The room was very dark with a sliver of streetlight coming in through the slit in the curtains. I didn't know where I was or what the time could be, but when I went to pull my other hand free from whatever it was grasping onto, my head turned and everything came flooding back in an instance.

Daphne! I was still in Daphne's room! It hit me that I didn't leave her room last night; it was still the middle of the night! I had fallen asleep on the floor propped up against her bed. Daphne was sleeping like a baby, and we were still… My heart raced as I sensed her tight grip on my palm. We're still holding hands! We must have been doing so for hours now! Oh, god; what have I done?! I've never stayed in a woman's room this late before- I'd never stayed in a woman's room for any length of time period! What's Daphne going to say? The colour drained from my cheeks. What's Anthony going to say?

Realizing that my best course of action was to slip out of here as quickly as possible, I struggled to wiggle myself around on the floor so to face Daphne's bed. The only problem now was getting her to let go of my hand; she held it so daintily while she was awake but had an iron grip on it currently. It's almost as if she didn't want to let it go… Too bad! I gotta get outta before anyone catches us! While I trying to pry myself free without waking her, she stirred a little. This made me stop in my tracks and I could do nothing but look at her for a minute. The small amount of light allowed me to get a good view of Daphne, who was sleeping soundly on her side with her hair spread out all over the pillow.

My heart skipped a beat- several beats. Looking at her, I felt… I felt different; like I was seeing something I'd never beheld before. Daphne… She was gorgeous! I'd never really thought about it before but seeing her asleep like this- man! What a face! So angelic and peaceful. She wasn't your standard "hot" or "sexy" per se. She was more rather like a living work of art; a walking sculpture, a flesh and blood painting. She was the kind of woman I imagine gave the great Italian artists inspiration for the ladies in their art. I could stare at her for hours and still find new things to admire and blow me away each minute. I'd never get bored, watching her quietly like this. I didn't know someone could possibly have so much all at once. I used to think people were just people. But her…. She was something else; something else entirely.

Admiring her for I don't know how long, my free hand came up to brush some stray hairs off her forehead. She moaned a tiny bit, making me smile. She so unbelievably precious. I can fathom something or someone more worthwhile on earth…

I had to stop my train of thought. My smile began to fade uneasily. Why do I suddenly have this strange feeling in my chest? Why does it feel like something's wrong? Like I'm doing something wrong? I took my free hand away, placing it on the ground beside me. I was unable to take my eyes off her as I started to stir.

No… I know what's wrong. This is wrong. This is…. I can't…. I can't give her what she needs; not from me. She needs a husband, someone who can give her wings so she can soar into her dreams. But I… ["I will never marry. I will never sire an heir. The Hastings line will die with me."] Even if I have fallen in love with her, it makes no difference. I can't marry Daphne; I can't be the wings she needs. So what's the point in loving her then? What's the point?

I continued to stare at her stunning slumbering face, and its content expression. My teeth grit a little. Why? Why did I have to let it get this far? Why did I have let myself be so happy whenever she's near? Why did I have to reach out and take her hand? Now I know I'll never meet anyone like her again. No one says my name the way she does; no voice catches my attention from anywhere in the room like hers. No one will ever make me feel the way she has…. And I'm going to lose her; I'm going to lose everything. This wonderful, wonderful person…. No man will ever be good enough for her; no one will ever deserve her- not even I. No one…..

Daphne stirred some more again and I saw the blanket had slipped off her shoulders a bit. My other hand immediately reached to grab them and pull them back over her, only for Daphne to move some more again. My heart skipped another beat as I let the blanket fall, making sure she was properly covered and warm of course. Her head shifted a tiny bit on her pillow. Her lips parted to whisper. "Simon…."

My eyes grew as large as dinner plates. She's… she's having a dream about me?! Is it weird that makes me so happy I want to explode inside? Wait, no! I gave myself a really, really mental kick that time. You've got to stop doing that! She's not yours! She'll never be yours! Daphne is the most loyal, most faithful person you've ever met; she's saving her love for her husband, as it should be. I should let her go before either of us gets anymore attached. Although deep down- deep, deep down- I already know… The man who marries her is winning the matrimonial lottery. It doesn't get better than this, than her…. I mean just look at her. She has this kind of glow around her. She's the closest thing I've ever seen to a real angel.

The kind of angel that makes even the devil want to get into heaven for her.


	33. The Breakup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon breaks up with Daphne.

Things were good after that initial morning. Anthony took me out for tea just the two of us so to apologize properly. I sat across the table, quietly listening to him and sipping at my hot chocolate. Occasionally I'd smile to myself. He reminded me so much of my father with his mannerisms and jesters. How could I stay mad at him for long? We made up and embraced each other. Plus I was feeling much better after my brother made me drink five bottles of water in one sitting. Not that I minded. Yes, things were good again.

Or so I thought at the time.

Everything seemed back to normal except for Simon. After that night where I fell to sleep holding his hand, I felt much closer to him. But it appeared I was the only who felt that way. Simon was strangely distant since that night together. He rarely talked to me, and if he did it was curt and quick. He wouldn't stand near me anymore.

It was so gradual at first that I didn't notice; I had other things on my mind. But I knew things were off the morning we took the train back to London. I went to get him a surprise coffee from Starbucks for the trip to Newcastle. An older lady saw me give it to him with a bright smile on my face, and she mirrored my expression. "Awe, don't you two make a cute couple?" She cooed. While I grinned back at her innocently, Simon looked horrified. He turned and brashly started to walk away. "Come on, Daphne," he called for me to follow him. That was the last time we were by ourselves until we got home. I sat beside Eloise the whole ride back. Anthony, Benedict, and Simon talked, though one was much more reserved than the others. I decided that Simon might be tired and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I had no idea what was coming up when we got back to London's train station.

Simon joined us in the cab back to the house. Of course all my younger siblings ran out with arms wide open. We hugged them and confirmed their suspicions that we had presents. Anthony invited the duke to come inside with the rest of us, but Simon politely declined. I was a little surprised when he announced that he wanted to speak to me privately, however. Completely naïve, Anthony and I looked at each other; he nodded and I waltzed over to stand by the duke, not thinking at all that this might be bad news. Simon wasn't smiling though, and kept his hands clasped behind his back in an uncomfortable fashion. He waited until everyone was back inside before addressing me.

I blinked to him mildly perplexed. "What's all this about?" Simon didn't reply right away, taking his time to answer me. He couldn't look me in the eye, though I had no idea why. He's been acting really weird; I wonder if anything is actually wrong. I just thought he might be exhausted from the trip. Those thoughts began to falter when he began to speak again.

"Daphne, we… we need to talk," the duke voice was low and upset. That did surprise me. "Talk about what?" "About us," he immediately responded, still unable to look in my direction. A drop of sweat rolled down the back of my neck. "W-What about us? Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" My mouth spilled out as I racked my brain trying to figure out what he could be talking about. Simon let out a frustrated huff.

"Isn't it obvious?" "What's obvious?" I clearly had no idea what he was referring to, which he noticed. "Us- you, me. We've gone too far, Daphne…. Miss Bridgerton," he made himself correct my name. That caught my attention; he rarely calls me that anymore and it's usually in jest. But this time he was entirely serious, and it worried me. My lips spattered slightly.

"W-What did we do? W-We didn't do anything. All we did was hold hands one night." "Don't mention that to me!" Simon's voice suddenly raised, alarming me. I blinked, purely in shock for a minute. It sounded like… like that was a painful memory to him. Wait, painful? Why would it be painful?! It wasn't painful for me! It was one of the best nights of my life in fact…. What about that night could possibly be painful to him? My hand rose up to my pounding chest; but it was beating for all the wrong reasons. Nervously so now…..

The duke sighed gravely, shutting his eyes and letting a moment pass before continuing. "I'm sorry, Miss Bridgerton; the fault is mine. I let you get…. I got…. We got too attached, you and I." "Attached? But we're supposed to be attached. Isn't that the point of friendship?" I asked, totally confused. "Yes, but not between you and me. We…. We have different life paths- we are bound for different roads." My eyes slowly widened on their own accord. What is he saying? He went on. "I am meant to run the Hastings estate, and you…. You're going to get married." Why is he telling me all this? I don't wanna hear it. "You are going to marry a man- a good man. You'll go to university and get your PhD. You'll get your dream and he'll…. He'll get you. You deserve this future, with a husband like him- one who can give you children." "Children? But I can't…." I can't have children. A traditional marriage may be in the cards for me, but not a traditional family. My hand quivered against my heart. I didn't like this- it was painful to hear. It hurt to hear Simon of all people say this to me.

"I cannot give you what you require to be happy, Miss Bridgerton," he said as his eyes slowly reopened. "B-But I never asked you to! We don't need to get married or have kids! I just want to stay near you…." "You think that wise? With how much our affections have grown already?" He had a hint of harshness in his tone. I didn't care; I just shook my head. "But what's wrong with that?! It's normal for friends to develop a bond the more time they share. You told me once it felt natural for you, having me near. Is that so bad? It's the same for me! I love being with you, Simon! You make me so incredibly happy!" "Don't say that!" He shot back angrily. My hands balled into fists. "Why not?! It's true! Don't you think we should be open with each other? Don't you think that will bring us closer together?" His body was full-on facing mine now in a defensive position. His own arms were down at his sides revealing his own fists. "Yes!

I don't want to be closer together!"

My jaw dropped in utter disbelief; my foot slid back a step. He doesn't….? Why? What did I do? What's wrong? Why is this so bloody painful? It feels like someone's ripping open my chest and tearing my heart out, artery by artery. This was the first time Simon showed any remorse, once he got a look at the hurt in my expression. My eyes wandered out into space; my mouth hung open, unable to close by itself. It hurts…. This, whatever it was, hurt like crazy. I hated it.

This remarkably tense moment of pressure fell between us, with me hugging myself and Simon looking repentant. His lips parted soon enough, though. "I'm sorry, Miss Bridgerton; I'm sorry. It's not you; you did nothing. I made a vow to never marry… before I met you. I'm sorry, I must keep that vow. I can't let him win…. I can't, not after all he's put me through. I've suffered too much; this would just be giving him more of what he wants from me. I'm done playing his game- I must keep my vow." I didn't care enough to ask what vow or who this "he" Simon was referring to is. I merely stood there, shaking uncontrollably trying to hold myself. It felt… it felt like he was breaking up with me, odd as that may sound. One thing's for sure: I knew going forward past this, it would never be the same. All those happy, wonderful, enchanting moments of blissful friendship we shared- gone in a flash. The very idea made tears swell up in the corners of my eyes, though I did my best not to cry. My lips parted the tiniest sliver, waiting for words to form in my cotton throat. "I thought… you and I were friends." Simon looked me straight in the eye.

"You and I cannot be friends. This ends here."

It was as if the earth opened beneath my feet and swallowed me whole. All I could do in that moment was stare- stare and remember how happy it used to make me… when he smiled. Our eyes locked, neither of us said nothing. But Simon finally clasped his hand back behind him. His head lowered a tad. "Take care of yourself, Miss Bridgerton," his heel then turned to walk away. At the sight of this, my reflexes took over control. Simon, no! Every inch, every fibre of my being ached, dangerously so. I don't want him to go… I don't want him to go! He's my friend; Simon's such a dear friend of mine. He's a friend…. I've grown so attached to already. I can't imagine what life would be like without him; without hearing the sound of his voice. No! I don't want to live in that kind of world! I want him near.

I want him to stay!

Before realizing what my limbs were doing, my hand stretched out in front of me. I grabbed the bottom of his jacket just before it was out of my reach. My fingers wrapped around the fibre, giving it a pull back in my direction. Now I wasn't conscious of my doing so until it was too late. I grabbed onto Simon's coat, effectively stopping him in his tracks. When his head spun back around, I could have sworn he was blushing. Blushing…. and tearing up.

We both grasped what I'd done simultaneously. Immediately horrified by my own actions, my hand flung itself back, both raising up in front of me. It all happened so fast, but when I saw his face again- his eyes- I wanted to be anywhere but here. Before he knew what was happening, it was my feet's turn to spin around and dart off in the opposite direction. I ran for what felt like some time, until I was far enough away that I knew he couldn't find me. I stopped to take some heavy breaths; my hand resting on the metal fence beside me. My chest was pounding like a drum.

Why'd I run away from him like that? Was I afraid…? Afraid he might say more or tell me he didn't want to be friends again? I feel like a little girl, hiding away like this. ["Don't you think we should be open with each other? Don't you think that will bring us closer together?" "Yes! I don't want to be closer together!"] Simon….

My chest felt like was on fire; everything ached. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. I don't know why it hurt so much but it did, and it was unbearable. I began stepping forward very hesitantly. My legs were as wobbly as jelly. My lips stayed permanently parted. My arms laid lifeless at my sides.

No, I don't want this. Isn't there another way? Why does it have to be like this? I don't want this! I want to hear the sound of his voice, I want to see him smile lots, I want to make him as happy as humanly possible. All these things I crave but are suddenly out of my reach. And I'm so sad….. I'm going to drown in sadness, it's that thick and high. Oh god, if I knew it was going to hurt this much, I wish I'd never met him! It would have been better if I never laid eyes on him!

A tear dripped down my cheek; my jaw clenched. But why am I so sad? Why do I want to see him so badly? Why do I want to hold his hand once more? There must be a reason…. There must have an explanation why this is so painful. My hand lifted up to brush the tear off my face. I looked at it on my finger, following it down to the bandage on my hand. The wound on my palm…. ["It's easier for me to get hurt than see you get hurt."] That's right, I said that to him, didn't I? Simon… ["Am I honestly to believe you don't already know my name?"] Simon. ["It's easier for me to care about you now, than not to care….."] Simon! ["I'm not strong enough to look away and to simply trust…. Not anymore."] Oh, Simon…. ["You're the first person who's ever made me feel more "me" before."]

Simon!

I collapsed onto my knees on the concrete. In that position, with my arms still limp at my side, I burst out into a crying mess. I wept uncontrollably right there in the middle of the street, letting the tears flow until my vision was so blurry, I couldn't see properly.


	34. To Love One Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eloise consoles a depressed Daphne.

"He hates me….. He hates me," I was laying overtop the covers on my bed with my head on the pillow and my staring at the wall. Eloise was sitting on its edge, listening to me and gently patting my hair from time to time. I'll give her this; she can be comforting when she wants to be. I told her everything that I knew to my knowledge, though it was clear I didn't know everything, like about what that vow was for. Though I could hazard a guess but didn't for Simon's sake. He deserved his privacy. That didn't halt the pain however…. I gripped both sides of my pillow in agony.

"Simon obvious doesn't hate you." "Yes, he does. He said he doesn't want to be closer…. That we can't be friends." Eloise sighed. "Seriously, how did you get into Masters? You're so thick." "I am an academic! I read books and go to lectures. This is all new to me. I've never felt this way about anyone before….." "I see. So because you're not an expert and can't study this at a library, you're going to give up? Not worth the effort?" There was a mocking tone in her voice. I glared at wall, which was pointless; it was only to make me feel better. "It's not like that and you know it. I can't make Simon do anything he doesn't want to do…. And I don't want to do that. I care about him too much." "Don't you study romantic poetry? How can you not see it?" "See what?" "Duh! That you're in love with him! And he's over the moon for you." Hearing this didn't shock me as much as you might it would. I hesitated, shutting my eyes. "Even if that's true, there's nothing I can do about it now. He's gone…. He's gone."

Eloise waited a minute, then let out another short sigh. "Why not just ask him to marry you?" "What?!" I jerked up from my pillow, eyes enlarged. But she was steadfast and serious. "It would solve everything. You'd get your PhD trust fund and marry the man of your dreams. Plus he has a title; a good title. Dad would've approved, I'm sure," she knew bringing up Daddy was my weak spot. "He does have a title…. and he does check off every box. Objectively he is the ideal candidate for a husband…. Not just for me but anyone." I caught Eloise smiling at me just then, confusing me a little. "What?" I asked her. She shook her head. "Nothing. So ask him." My eyes lowered sadly. "I can't." "Why not?" "Because he… he has this vow he made; he made it before he met me." "So?" "So I can't ask him to break it. It wouldn't be right."

Eloise couldn't have rolled her eyes harder. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Vow- what vow?" "I don't know and I'm not going to ask," I stated firmly. "You're going to lose a catch like Simon over something so trivial?" "It's clearly not trivial to him. Look, I have no right to ask him to break it on my account. That's not what love is." "Oh god, grow up, Daph! This isn't one of your moral medieval tales. Being in a relationship means compromise- you can be a little selfish. No one expects you to act like a self-sacrificing saint." "But we're not in a relationship; we've never had a relationship beyond friendship. And if I do love him, shouldn't it be in my way? Whether you agree with me or not, it would be incredibly selfish to ask him to break any vow he's made for any reason. Any man who loves me wouldn't ask me to forgo PhD. Even if it not standard, I don't want to ask Simon to do anything he doesn't want to. I never want to do anything to hurt him…."

My sister watched me for a long moment. Her eyes softened onto; this kind grin crossed her lips again. "You really are a different breed. You didn't get that from Dad." "No; must have been our great uncle," and she laughed. Meanwhile my grin began to fade; sorrow swelling inside me once more. "I miss him, Eloise. I really miss him….." "I know; I know you do," she patted the side of my head.

"It doesn't get easier, does it?" My sister sighed heavily. "Well, I suppose it will- eventually." That made me feel weird; I didn't know if I wanted to feel better, strange as that sound. Reading my face, Eloise's head lowered a bit. "Don't worry, Daph. Things will get better." "I doubt it. If this is love, I don't want it. I want nothing to do with it. I don't want to go through ever again…." "Mmmmm, I get the feeling you won't," she shrugged. I looked at her perplexed, to which she grinned. "The next man you love will be your husband, won't it?" "Love and marriage have nothing to do with each other. I think I'll only ever love one man… if I love Simon." And she smiled; she smiled brilliantly.

"I think you're right there, sis; I think you are right on the mark."


End file.
